Ashelyn Nycole

Talking to my parents about asexuality

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Ashelyn Nycole

So my parents are super Mormon and I don’t know how to tell them that I’m asexual or if they will even believe me. I get the feeling that they would just tell me that I’m not sure of anything and that I don’t know because I haven’t been in a relationship. I tell them all the time that I don’t want to have sex and that I most likely won’t be bringing a boyfriend home but they always laugh it off and if anyone has advice it would be much appreciated.

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SecretCows

If you're not sure how they'll react or if you think they'll react poorly, then it might be better to hold off until you're older and not living with them. Your safety is the most important thing. For me, I just flat out told my mom that I was asexual and told her that if she had any questions that I was open to talking about it. It might be helpful to have other resources available to them that you can send them and let them read or watch on their own time.

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The Angel of Eternity

@AConfusedAce Hey! Welcome to heAVEN! There's an infinite amount of 🍰 here! Take a handful!

Definitely wait until you're older. Are you thinking they'd disown you or even make you have sex and/or a relationship if you told them?

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ZinxtheJinx

Based on what you said, they're not going to understand anything or refuse to. Similar to you I implied this to my parents but they don't understand so thats why I knew I may never come out to them.

 

But if your relationship is good and your a great student or have a good career, you can use this as a excuse to hold off anything and think through how your going to come out in the meantime.

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MichaelTannock

I've never come out as an Asexual to my family, so my first piece of advice is that you don't have to.
If you want to though, there was a guide made specifically for the parents of an Asexual that's coming out to them, http://www.whatisasexuality.com/family-and-friends/parents/
And a short book about Asexuality that is free to read online, http://www.asexualityarchive.com/book/

Also, when I've come out to friends, I've used the direct approach, saying I'm Asexual, and don't experience sexual attraction to anyone.

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Ashelyn Nycole

@The Angel of Eternity

I don’t think they would disown me but I do think that they might try to force me into a relationship.

@MichaelTannock

its nice to know that it’s possible to just not say anything and thank you for the resources 

@SecretCows

The idea of that sounds nice but my parents are divorced and it is my mom and stepdad that I am worried about and I don’t know if my biological dad would be able to get custody of me if something went wrong with my coming out.

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planetexpllorer

I totally understand where you're coming from. If you're not ready to come out, don't. Or even if you are really unsure how they would react, maybe don't risk it if you're not 100% ready for any questions or backlash you may receive. I came out to my mom last year, however I feel that she may have forgotten lol because we don't talk about it but she knows about my lack of attraction and is fine with it. However, I came out to my dad and stepmom as well and it was not a good experience, to say the least. I heavily regret it but my stepmom kind of forced it out of me with her incessant questions of why I was so sure I wouldn't get an STD in college (it's a long story of how we got to that conversation). She berated me with questions for the next few days and made me feel awful about myself. My dad said nothing the entire time and now has completely denied the fact that I ever said anything. I came out on impulse. Do not make the mistakes I did. If you aren't sure or feel uncomfortable with the prospect of coming out, please just wait until you move out or you are more comfortable with your identity. I know it's hard to live in the closet, especially in our sexual society, but it can be worth it. Hope that helps! 🙂  

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