Purple_Panda

Ace or GrayAce?

Recommended Posts

Purple_Panda

TW/CW: mention of sex dreams and scenes (nothing explicit), mention of wanting kids, talk of gender

.

.

.

.

.

 

Hi everyone. 

 

I know it's been awhile since I was last on here. I think I need some help. I know I'm on the asexual spectrum, but I've been wondering lately if I'm not more ace than gray. I can't tell if it's just me denying myself things I've always wanted or something I actually do not want. I've always wanted kids but with my disability, my mom was always saying I probably shouldn't/can't have them. Now that I've realized that I'm nonbinary (leaning more towards the male side of the gender spectrum), I realized that I don't want kids and probably wanted them just to prove to my mom (and myself) that I could have kids. 

 

It's not just that though. I can write and read sex scenes, but every time I imagine it happening with me directly involved I don't think I can see that happening. Even in the few dreams I've had like that, I was an outsider/not actually participating. 

 

Can someone please help me figure this out and talk me through it? Thank you. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Prydonax

Hey there! I'm brand new to AVEN, but maybe sharing my opinion will help a bit anyways. I know that some aces are sex repulsed, while other's aren't, and that's fine. For example, I have a friend who can't even read sex scenes, but although they make me cringe, I can still get through them. From what I can tell, being ace is simply not feeling sexual desire. I've had a dream only once about participating in sex, but I didn't feel anything during it, and I would still consider myself ace. I think in the end it's up to you, if you're ace or gray. 

 

Hope this helps a bit! As stated, I'm new, but hopefully my experience helps you out :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Purple_Panda

@Prydonax, now that I think about it I did have one dream/vision forever ago in which I could tell the person I was apparently going to have sex with was naked even though I only my was able to see them from the waist up. Even so, I don’t think we had sex. I didn’t feel like we did anyway. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP

It sounds like you are asexual, since you're not interested in having sex with others in real life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Prydonax

Hm, I wouldn't be the one to say if that counts, as once again, I think all this is just down to opinion. Personally though, I'd have to agree with TheAP. Real life is a lot different than a dream, after all. But yeah, feel free to ask if you have any more questions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Purple_Panda

@TheAP, @Prydonax, thank you. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Star Lion

This is late, but if you have never felt sexual attraction (desire towards a person for sexual contact), then you’re asexual. If you have felt it rarely or only experience it under certain circumstances, than you’re graysexual/gray ace. Everything else other than sexual attraction is unrelated to your sexuality or description of your sexuality

But please note that graysexual or whatever is your term for it is not a sexual orientation. It’s solely a descriptor of your sexual orientation (which can be anything but ace). Also note that asexuality is not a spectrum. Explanation for the graysexual and spectrum part:

Spoiler

Asexuality is a descriptor too and is on the spectrum of how much sexual attraction you feel but because there’s no sexual attraction, you can’t put it into a sexual orientation and it just creates it own sexual orientation which is the opposite of sexuality. Graysexual is a label part of the sexual attraction spectrum but leans closer to the asexual end of the sexual attraction spectrum rather than the theoretical 100% sexual

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now