sexlessbychoice Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 I'm a 55 year old man. I always considered myself to be sexual. I'm married and initially my wife had a solid libido. Then that changed. It was really tough and I felt frustrated and angry as she didn't seem to want to do anything about it. Over time I accepted it and decided to focus on all the good aspects of our marriage and to offer non-sexual intimacy. Things smoothed out and I felt a lot better, not offering or expecting sex. Over time my libido has declined. Now the thought of sex no longer interests me. Kissing, cuddling, closeness all good. Sex - I just don't see the appeal anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Cool. I don't believe that valid sexualities must always be inborn. Some people experience changes in their sexuality and that's fine too. Link to post Share on other sites
sexlessbychoice Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 Thanks for your reply! I do think sexuality can evolve over time. My sexuality certainly did, although my drift toward asexuality may have been aided by something that happened to me in my early 30s, though there was a substantial delayed effect. Link to post Share on other sites
ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 @sexlessinpei Hi! Welcome to heAVEN! Have some ! It says it's a list of romantic orientations, though if you replace the word "romantic" with the word "sexual", it will apply more to your situation. There may be an exact term in there that would describe your sexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Carolynne Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! I have heard of people's libido tapering off as they get older (as well as a side-effect of medication, or health conditions). I suppose one could effectively become asexual if their libido decreases to the point of becoming negligible or non-existent. Link to post Share on other sites
sexlessbychoice Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 Thanks for the comments. Looking at the list, my wife may be a fraysexual - it would explain a lot. For me, a profound influence may be a loss of one testicle in my early 30s. No problem fathering children and a powerful libido for 15 years after, but now my testosterone is on the low side and my doctor does feel there is a link. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 @sexlessinpei Welcome to AVEN! I've never had or desired either sex or a relationship, but I think it's good things have smoothed out for the two of you. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Link to post Share on other sites
sexlessbychoice Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 OMG that cake looks soooo good Link to post Share on other sites
Techie Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 56 my self and never married. While I felt romantic attraction to females, I just never felt the extra oomph to actually go out and find a relationship. I finally figured out it was that lack of sexual interest that made me more of a bystander. Glad it worked out for you and your wife. Sounds like you got lucky and managed go keep a good relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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