CookedAngel

The best way to label myself?

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CookedAngel

Prior to discovering this website, I've always assumed I was asexual, but I've come to the realization I touch on a bit of the spectrum

 

Simply put, I'm not really sexually attracted to anyone unless I know them (so touching demisexuality?). After i'm comfortable, I enjoy kissing and foreplay ... but I do not enjoy intercourse … I've never penetrated anyone (I don't have an interest to) and I did not enjoy penetration the few times I did it (only pursued due to pressure). I'm not sure where I lie on the spectrum.

 

How should I identify myself to people? What label can I use that accurately describes my sexuality? It's not really something I feel quite comfortable explaining to people in detail. At this point in my life I think I want to accept this is who I am and want to be as transparent as possible.

 

Sorry if this is a duplicate; I searched for a bit of answers around the forum prior and couldn't find anything exactly like my situation.

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The Angel of Eternity

@CookedAngel Hi! Welcome to heAVEN! There's an infinite amount of 🍰 here, so take as much as you want!

 

You could call yourself demi, though if you're afraid others won't understand that, maybe say something along the lines of:

"I only experience attraction if I know a person really well."

 

I hope this helps.

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Demi Dad

Welcome @CookedAngel have some cake🍰 and  take the time to understand you . you sound like you have a idea but need some clarity  AVEN is the place were you can learn more. the labels is to help you not to bind you . you can be more than one label under the Asexual umbrella. if you feel uncomfortable telling people about your sexuality then don't until you feel comfortable with who you are first.  again Welcome

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MichaelTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

I think you're fine to use Demisexual.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

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CookedAngel

I appreciate the warm welcome! Will definitely need to share all that cake though as i'm watching my sugar!

 

I have been trying out identifying as demisexual and has felt right, for the most part. My experience is that there is still this expectation that I partake in intercourse. It seems like that is just something I need to be explicit about? I've honestly thought of appending other words to demisexual (e.g., demisexual (intercourse abstinent))? Is that strange? 

 

I guess I am wanting something to help me navigate the dating scene with more transparency since the act of intercourse is pretty important to most people. Often people are bewildered and I am ghosted upon. 

 

All the responses are quite helpful so far, thank you!

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MichaelTannock

Another way to avoid that expectation is to identify as A-Spec, short for Asexual Spectrum.

Since Demisexuality is on the Asexual Spectrum, and intercourse isn't an expectation for Asexuals.

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CookedAngel

I feel really good about that one, very insightful. Thank you for the warm welcome and answering questions! Greatly appreciated!

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