ToTheEnigma

Is this gray sexuality?

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ToTheEnigma

Okay, now that I'm on the AVEN forums, I figured that I might as well ask the question that's been bothering me for three freaking years. So basically I've never felt sexual attraction before, except for like... a few hours tops. It was sort of like "I wouldn't really mind having sex with ____" but then like an hour or two later it was just "Wait, what? No, I would mind, thank you very much. I'd mind a lot." As far as I can remember, this is the only time this ever happened, and aside from that, I've remained completely sex repulsed/averse. So yeah, is this something that would be gray ace? I mean was it even sexual attraction, come to think of it?

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MichaelTannock

Not minding the idea of sex with a specific person seems different from desiring it with them, so I'd say it's still Asexual.

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Deus Ex Infinity
14 minutes ago, MichaelTannock said:

Not minding the idea of sex with a specific person seems different from desiring it with them, so I'd say it's still Asexual.

I agree with @MichaelTannock It doesn't sound like you'd really like to have sex with someone so I wouldn't use the term gray sexual here, since you don't seem to experience any desire or sexual attraction either. It might have been just a fleeting moment back then. That's ok but it  doesn't change your prior orientation.

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Kayze
8 hours ago, ToTheEnigma said:

Okay, now that I'm on the AVEN forums, I figured that I might as well ask the question that's been bothering me for three freaking years. So basically I've never felt sexual attraction before, except for like... a few hours tops. It was sort of like "I wouldn't really mind having sex with ____" but then like an hour or two later it was just "Wait, what? No, I would mind, thank you very much. I'd mind a lot." As far as I can remember, this is the only time this ever happened, and aside from that, I've remained completely sex repulsed/averse. So yeah, is this something that would be gray ace? I mean was it even sexual attraction, come to think of it?

Sexual attraction is separate from action. Some asexuals have sex and even enjoy it though they have no actual attraction to it. It's like participating in a sexual kink your partner has but does nothing for you. You might still like the sensations but just never get "turned on" from it directly nor would seek it on your own. Similar thing to sneezing or masturbating, they're actions that don't require attraction to want to relieve. Also, just for clarity, sex repulsed/averse isn't exclusive or a requirement for asexuality.

 

My take: Gray-asexual is a label for people that experience it rarely and/or under limited circumstances. Since you experienced it once and it didn't even last, I don't think it invalidates the asexual label. Plenty of straight guys have a "gay thought" when they see an attractive male but briefly and not exactly reflective of their sexual attraction. It's just a fleeting thought that confuses the senses for a moment or so.

 

But this again is just my take :3

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