Do you like being asexual?

[starweb]

Once I figured out what the 'problem' was I was intensely relieved. It wasn't my fault if things were a bit...skewed and in the end, it wasn't a 'problem' after all. Yes, I like it. 

[Squirrel Combat]

I like it so long as I don't have to be romantic all the times as a "payment" to a stable relationship.

[Guest]

I like being ace but sometimes I don't. The pros are no risk of pregnancy or STDs and having a little more freedom in life because you're not tied down by it. There are cons though. I've kind of written off the idea of having a relationship or dating because most individuals are sexual beings and most expect that in a relationship. Asexuality does not have that much representation and a lot of people do not know what it means. Having to explain it on any date would suck. "Yeah, I'm asexual." "Like... plants...? Wha...?" I think it would be too much of a pain. Plus, society kind of places sex and relationships on a pedestal as The Greatest Thing. Which is complete bull. I love who I am though. I wouldn't change anything about me. I just wish society was more inclusive about it.

[Linda_jj]

I was kind of concerned about it when i just had found out about it .but now i feel happy and calm about being aware of it and also being one.i have ddecided to not to date anyone tho....there are people who accept me as an asexual and still want to date and marry me but I'm not really optimistic about it.i could trust an ace but not ppl with other sexual orientations...i also don't find anything about it worthy enough to fight for or worthy enough to take a risk 

[Homer]

On 10/29/2018 at 2:35 AM, hisforhenrietta said:

I'm thinking about starting to identify as asexual but it scares me. I came out as gay 8 years ago and I love being gay and I'm super proud of it. It's a different kind of fear - when I came out as gay I was scared of society not accepting me but now I'm scared of not finding a partner/being accepted by someone I date.

A "label" doesn't change anything about the way you feel. "Identifying as" something or other won't make a difference in that regard.

 

As to your question - it is what it is, I guess. Sex doesn't play a role in my life, so there's not much need to think about it.

[TheAP]

I like being ace and aro-spec because I don't have to worry about sex or finding a romantic partner.

[Suigin]

I like being asexual :3 Being asexual is just another part of me and if I weren't I wouldn't be me. What I don't like is the way people react when I tell them that I'm not interested in relationships. I've had people tell me I must be an alien or a robot or something. But being myself is more important to me than listening to those people :3

[Tori Sunshine]

I have mixed feelings, but since I realized I'm asexual fairly recently, they'll probably change over time. Right now, I'm glad that I know I'm asexual and that I'm not just really immature, because that's a bit of a relief. I wish I could experience sexual attraction though, since sexuality seems to be a big part of life, and I'd see what I'm missing. I also worry about what dating will be like, and if or when I should ever come out of the closet.

[ColeHW34]

I like it a lot even if I'm the only known ace of the group of my friends.

[AmorphousBlob]

It is pretty funny to watch people flounder when I say that I've never kissed or dated anyone and that I don't want to😊

 

Seriously though, I love not having to worry about all those complicated feels n stuff.

[Sleepykilly]

still figuring it out so it's both yes and no for me. on days where I'm really lonely the answer is no, but most days i'm pretty okay with it. since I'm pretty out and honest about it too i can make jokes about it in social situations without feeling too uncomfortable.

[Guest]

It took me a while to figure things out, and it's been very stressful at times in the past, but now that I'm comfortable being ace I think that I could say that I like it. I mean, it's a part of who I am. It took a while to accept it, though, as my situation was sort of complicated, but I'm happy that I finally figured it out. Not knowing and trying to figure things out was hard on me.  

[AverageAce]

I've been identifying as ace for a short time but it's really really liberating! I love being an ace! ☺

[anzu2snow]

It took me a long time to accept and feel proud of it. A fellow classmate came out to me as ace when we were 16. It spooked me how much it sounded like myself, especially after reading a little about it online. (There wasn’t much at the time.) I went into deep denial up until I was 31. I thought someday I’d feel like everyone else. I didn’t want to be ‘different’. I looked into it again at 31, because someone was talking about it just before Pride. It clicked, and I finally gave into reality about it. I’ll be 34 on Wednesday. I’m not sure how things would have gone down if I accepted/was proud as a teen. There wasn’t much of a community at the time, and I might have been bullied about it. I’m not sure what happened to that classmate, since I didn’t see him much after that. I probably would have lost friends and not had the oppotunity to try a romantic relationship. I also realized I was aro not too long after accepting I was ace. I still was apprehensive about knowing the truth. I was hoping I’d have some form of romantic attraction. Now, I’ve totally embraced both of them, love them, and am unappologetically proud. These are parts of me. It doesn’t mean I can’t have a life partner, either. I think that was part of my fear. A qpr (queerplatonic relationship) sounds awesome to me. Just to have that option is great. 

[disneydork]

As someone who always and still does deal with horrible confidence issues, it's just really hard to find anything about me that i like. Like even when my friends tell me things i brush it off or let it go over my head cause i honestly don't believe them. So for me to actually like being ace is pretty big. I can feel a hell of a lot more comfortable with myself and realize why i am the way i am. Especially after having been asked by a so-called "friend" in college in response to my child like personality, "what's wrong with you? Do you have a chemical imbalance or something?" It's like...well yeah, i can think there's plenty wrong with me. But one of the reasons i am so child like is just because i am the stereotypical ace girl and it makes me feel good that that's my reason and it makes sense. It's not because there's something "wrong" with me in that regard. I don't like that my asexuality confuses things like romantic orientation and that no one around me is ace so i continue to feel like the odd one out. And i don't like that it's hardly ever talked about, that it wasn't a word anyone used when i was growing up because especially in high school it would've just made so much more sense to me and it wouldn't have taken me until i was almost 30 to figure it out. But it's basically the only thing i do like about me, being ace, so i'm just gonna milk it for all it's worth. (Ok and maybe also use as much purple for things as possible 😝 )

[LonesomeCrow]

I like being asexual. Over the years I've watched all the drama in other peoples' relationships, and am glad that's it nothing I've ever had to deal with. 

[DexDiamante]

I like knowing I'm ace. It explained a lot of stuff that was going on in my life and the label helped me understand that I wasn't "broken", I was just asexual 😂. I think a lot of fellow aces can relate to that. A certain stress and shame was lifted off of my shoulders and living got much easier for me.

 

Being ace makes me happy because it's part of who I am. And I like who I am. I don't feel the need to date, I'm not invested in seeking a partner or sex and I don't feel like I "need" to do those things either. I don't feel I'm missing out on anything and I have a life I'm pretty content with. I've never had to deal with any relationship/sex drama (everyone around me seems to always be dealing with that) so that is a huge + to me. 👍

 

Your feelings are valid, OP. People can be super ignorant about asexuality, but the right person will accept you as you are and they will accept you joyfully and with a lot of love. Believe that. ❤️

 

As for being "out" I'm only out to 2 people, and it's never really come up anywhere else.

[lonelyace]

@hisforhenrietta I had a similar experience coming out first as lesbian, then as asexual. How do you explain to others that both are terrifying, but in different ways. The first was a fear that everyone I loved would leave me, the second a fear that no one would love me. Do I like being asexual? Yes and no. Sex sounds absolutely disgusting to me, and I quite frankly wouldn't know what to do if I suddenly woke up needing it. But yeah, I do worry about being forever alone. Not really helpful to anyone looking for reassurance, but hey, sometimes it's good to know that someone else is in the same boat.

[Janus the Fox]

I like that I'm Asexual, it's remarkable how it's still accurate and relevant to me, even for the 7 years it's been since discovering it.

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

On 11/4/2018 at 7:54 PM, DexDiamante said:

I like knowing I'm ace. It explained a lot of stuff that was going on in my life and the label helped me understand that I wasn't "broken", I was just asexual 😂. I think a lot of fellow aces can relate to that.

Agreed, though I never thought of myself as 'broken'. 'Odd', 'different', or 'unusual' would be a better fit for my opinion of my sexuality during highschool.
I've always been an oddball anyway so this didn't bother me quite as much as it seems with many other aces here.

[Madao]

Not really yes, and not really no. I mean when I first found out about asexuality, I was happy that I was asexual. No need to keep worrying about pregnancy or waste my time having sex. I could do the things I like. But it's really difficult to find a partner though. I don't mind dating a sexual person, but I just get scared by the thought of them getting turned on by seeing me, or them suffering because I couldn't have sex. It gets lonely at times, and I get down, but it's not really a big deal. Being Ace is just a part of my identity, and I accept it. 

[Intybus]

On 10/29/2018 at 2:55 AM, MollyDMA said:

I'm proud, but also I'm not in the same situation as you. I also identify and aro and I worry less about people not accepting me and more about people not believing me. I've had a few people (guys) say that they can change my mind and a few 'tried'. Other than that I do take pride in who/what I am.

Just watch out for those who doubt you and ask to change your mind

I get this a lot, unfortunately from close friends and family too (they practically don't believe in asexuality). I'm always scared people will think I'm pretending or seeking attention because i am open about it now and it's something really important to me. I just know and  feel i am and it really hurts when even people in the LGBT community deny your asexuality. I don't get why it's so hard to accept that some people just don't feel things others do.

[Smol Fox]

[Deleted]

[Smol Fox]

I love being aro/ace. I don't feel like I'm missing out on romantic or sexual relationships, which is fantastic, since I'm repulsed and averse to them, respectively. I wouldn't say I'm proud of it, since its not an accomplishment or something I chose to be, but I'm definitely happy to have discovered my orientation niche so to speak. I'd probably enjoy being aro/ace even more if I had other aro/ace spec people to share the experience with.

[everywhere and nowhere]

19 hours ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

Agreed, though I never thought of myself as 'broken'. 'Odd', 'different', or 'unusual' would be a better fit for my opinion of my sexuality during highschool.
I've always been an oddball anyway so this didn't bother me quite as much as it seems with many other aces here.

Same for me. I just never had any strong need to fit in. Well - yes, I was bullied for being different in all sorts of ways, but it never made me feel that I was doing something wrong. I always preferred being in minorities and never felt that "being like all the rest" was something wortwhile.

Later I realised that there's no such thing as "being like all the rest" anyway because NO TWO PEOPLE ARE IDENTICAL.

[gisiebob]

do you like having two arms? for me, having two arms feels normal. comfortable.

[Greengreengrass]

On 10/29/2018 at 1:55 AM, MollyDMA said:

I'm proud, but also I'm not in the same situation as you. I also identify and aro and I worry less about people not accepting me and more about people not believing me. I've had a few people (guys) say that they can change my mind and a few 'tried'. Other than that I do take pride in who/what I am.

Just watch out for those who doubt you and ask to change your mind

I'm also afraid of people not believing me. 

[Kimmie.]

I can´t come up with much positive about it unforently but that probably have to do more with me as a person. You always hear so much you are missing out of.

[SithAzathoth WinterDragon]

Yes, I do not feel upset about it at all, and I know I'm not "missing out" on anything as many have said online in different forums. 

[Maya the Composer]

I like that I'm asexual. The amount of relief that came to me when I figured it out does not compare to nearly anything else. As for telling people, my friends know but my parents don't because it is easier to talk out sexual attraction and stuff with friends than with parents (I'm seventeen, so that's also a considerable factor.)