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qqquirk

Weird sexual dream (sadomasochism)?

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qqquirk

So...I've never had a dream like this before and I would like to hear the thoughts of other asexuals because I'm kind of perplexed.

 

I'm mostly aromantic and I don't crush on people, especially not strangers. There's a musician - who will remain unnamed - who I really admire for his music and his intelligence, but I don't have any sort of romantic type feelings for. Obviously, because I've never met the man. 

 

Last night I had this dream...it was so weird. He was shirtless and...I don't know how to say...like cutting his chest and stomach with a knife, like cutting words into himself and bleeding and he was moaning and screaming. Then he was laying naked on a bed looking very peaceful and beautiful. And then I woke up. '

 

Sorry if that was graphic.

 

I was shocked when I woke up but I also felt kind of...disappointed? Like I had wanted to see more. It was very intense. I wasn't at all physically or sexually aroused but there was something about it which interested me, I could almost say maybe I liked it? But liked it how? I don't know. I kind of feel like a voyeur or something because I wasn't part of the dream, it was like I was watching him and I was invisible and he didn't know I was there. I seems so ridiculous, I don't know what to think about it. I didn't exactly want to be part of it but I was kind of disappointed I'd woken up so soon.

 

I've never had any BDSM dreams or anything like this before. I almost never have any sexual dreams at all. 

 

I once had a friend who didn't know I'm asexual and they assumed I'm like some sort of domme or something. I'm not really sure why. I don't know if that has anything to do with the content of the dream. Obviously I don't want to hurt this person, but seeing him hurting himself? I don't know, I feel like a jerk and a total psycho for saying that maybe I kind of liked it. And I don't think I'd have a problem with seeing it again.

 

Is there a such thing as being an asexual sadist? Would that even be a correct term? I don't even know if that would even count as some sort of sadistic desire or something. But it was weird. I've never experienced anything like that before but I'm confused that as sort of disturbing as it was, I'm not exactly bothered by it. 

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Duke Memphis

Dreams are weird. I once had a dream where this woman was trying to kill me by retracting the platforms in the room to make me fall into the floor of boiling deep-fry oil. She was harnessed to the ceiling for safety, so I broke her harness and deep-fried her before she could deep-fry me, and I stopped the floors from retracting any more.

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kaysir

Yes, there is a such thing as an asexual sadist. Sadism doesn't have to be sexual at all. I'm occasionally a sexual sadist and sometimes a spiteful sadist, and sometimes I'm just intrigued by the pain as you seem to have been.

 

That said, a dream doesn't necessarily mean anything. If you've never had any fantasies let alone urges to see or do something like this, and if you don't think you will, you're probably not any kind of sadist. Plus, if you saw it in real life maybe your reaction would be completely different.

 

But if ya feel like a sadist, sure, you're a sadist! Welcome to the club, lol.

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qqquirk
1 hour ago, kaysir said:

Yes, there is a such thing as an asexual sadist. Sadism doesn't have to be sexual at all. I'm occasionally a sezual sadist and sometimes a spiteful sadist, and sometimes I'm just intrigued by the pain as you seem to have been.

 

That said, a dream doesn't necessarily mean anything. If you've never had any fantasies let alone urges to see or do something like this, and if you don't think you will, you're probably not any kind of sadist. Plus, if you saw it in real life maybe your reaction would be completely different.

 

But if ya feel like a sadist, sure, you're a sadist! Welcome to the club, lol.

Thanks, this is a helpful explanation. 

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