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Q^3

Weird sexual dream (sadomasochism)?

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Q^3

So...I've never had a dream like this before and I would like to hear the thoughts of other asexuals because I'm kind of perplexed.

 

I'm mostly aromantic and I don't crush on people, especially not strangers. There's a musician - who will remain unnamed - who I really admire for his music and his intelligence, but I don't have any sort of romantic type feelings for. Obviously, because I've never met the man. 

 

Last night I had this dream...it was so weird. He was shirtless and...I don't know how to say...like cutting his chest and stomach with a knife, like cutting words into himself and bleeding and he was moaning and screaming. Then he was laying naked on a bed looking very peaceful and beautiful. And then I woke up. '

 

Sorry if that was graphic.

 

I was shocked when I woke up but I also felt kind of...disappointed? Like I had wanted to see more. It was very intense. I wasn't at all physically or sexually aroused but there was something about it which interested me, I could almost say maybe I liked it? But liked it how? I don't know. I kind of feel like a voyeur or something because I wasn't part of the dream, it was like I was watching him and I was invisible and he didn't know I was there. I seems so ridiculous, I don't know what to think about it. I didn't exactly want to be part of it but I was kind of disappointed I'd woken up so soon.

 

I've never had any BDSM dreams or anything like this before. I almost never have any sexual dreams at all. 

 

I once had a friend who didn't know I'm asexual and they assumed I'm like some sort of domme or something. I'm not really sure why. I don't know if that has anything to do with the content of the dream. Obviously I don't want to hurt this person, but seeing him hurting himself? I don't know, I feel like a jerk and a total psycho for saying that maybe I kind of liked it. And I don't think I'd have a problem with seeing it again.

 

Is there a such thing as being an asexual sadist? Would that even be a correct term? I don't even know if that would even count as some sort of sadistic desire or something. But it was weird. I've never experienced anything like that before but I'm confused that as sort of disturbing as it was, I'm not exactly bothered by it. 

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Duke Memphis

Dreams are weird. I once had a dream where this woman was trying to kill me by retracting the platforms in the room to make me fall into the floor of boiling deep-fry oil. She was harnessed to the ceiling for safety, so I broke her harness and deep-fried her before she could deep-fry me, and I stopped the floors from retracting any more.

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kaysir

Yes, there is a such thing as an asexual sadist. Sadism doesn't have to be sexual at all. I'm occasionally a sexual sadist and sometimes a spiteful sadist, and sometimes I'm just intrigued by the pain as you seem to have been.

 

That said, a dream doesn't necessarily mean anything. If you've never had any fantasies let alone urges to see or do something like this, and if you don't think you will, you're probably not any kind of sadist. Plus, if you saw it in real life maybe your reaction would be completely different.

 

But if ya feel like a sadist, sure, you're a sadist! Welcome to the club, lol.

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Q^3
1 hour ago, kaysir said:

Yes, there is a such thing as an asexual sadist. Sadism doesn't have to be sexual at all. I'm occasionally a sezual sadist and sometimes a spiteful sadist, and sometimes I'm just intrigued by the pain as you seem to have been.

 

That said, a dream doesn't necessarily mean anything. If you've never had any fantasies let alone urges to see or do something like this, and if you don't think you will, you're probably not any kind of sadist. Plus, if you saw it in real life maybe your reaction would be completely different.

 

But if ya feel like a sadist, sure, you're a sadist! Welcome to the club, lol.

Thanks, this is a helpful explanation. 

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KrystalLost

hmmm could just be a weird dream and you found it psychologically interesting, if the contents in the dreams make you uncomfortable in a sexual or intimacy wise level, then it's likely you're not a sadist and has a weird dream. 

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Didi the Dragon

Dreams are just projections of your brain working through experiences and thoughts and urges, or simply the happenstances of yesterday. Your subconscious might have picked up on your friend’s statement and built a scenario around it, or maybe you just hadn’t considered this a part of yourself yet - in such cases, it’s best to just experiment a bit (as long as it’s safe and healthy!) to figure yourself out a bit. Look up stuff about this topic on the internet, ask your friends, as long as you’re comfortable with it. Asexual sadists exist! If you think you might be one, have fun with the revelation! In the end, it’s you who knows yourself best. 

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JessPlaysChess

Dreams aren't as important or meaningful as you sometimes may think they are. Your brain is just working and processing  things! I've had the weirdest dreams, often to be raped or molested (probably smth I carried away from the behavior of my ex) to kissing my crush or to kiss celebrities I wouldn't even wanna date in real life. But if it's enjoyable, you should appreciate it as what it is - just a dream. I've recently even dreamt to get an instructional lesson (a scene tho) into bdsm. I've dreamed I killed myself and it was the most enjoyable feeling ever and I've dreamed to be shot or cut with a knife or killed and it was super great most of the time!! All those things do obviously not mean that they will be or feel the same in reality and also not that your subconsciously wishing for those things to happen. You may like sex in a dream but in reality it's totally different and you're very repulsed.

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KrystalLost

Yea dreams are weird, don't watch Sherlock at 3 am. Hopefully you won't have some secret second brother you forgot about. 😜

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