charlieschmitt Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 If asexuality is defined based on the lack of sexual attraction, is "not understanding what is sexual attraction" a sufficient condition for determining asexuality? What if you don't know what is "love" either? How do you know whether you lack the ability to love, or you lack sexual attraction? Or perhaps both? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iam135 Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 Well, I love my family and friends I feel like I am loved by them in return. So, I wouldn't say that my lack of romantic/sexual attraction makes me unable to love or anything - I just don't find myself wanting to have romantic/sexual relationships with those around me. It doesn't mean I love them any less, it just means I don't feel attracted to them in those ways. As far as "not understanding sexual attraction" goes, I guess I don't really understand it to it's entire extent, since I've never experienced it. It's like trying to explain how a food tastes if you've never actually eaten it - all you can do is make guesses based off of what others have told you. I'd imagine that, by feeling sexual attraction, you sort of end up understanding it to a certain extent as well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 I am by no means an expert, so I may be wrong. 8 minutes ago, charlieschmitt said: is "not understanding what is sexual attraction" a sufficient condition for determining asexuality? Depends by what you mean by the word understanding. If you know what sexual attraction is defined as and should you realize that you have experienced nothing remotely similar to what sexual attraction is than it would seem you could be asexual. However if one knows what sexual attraction is defined and one has experienced nothing remotely similar to it yet one is pre-puberty or not halfway through puberty than it would be probably very hard to tell if one is asexual. 15 minutes ago, charlieschmitt said: What if you don't know what is "love" either? Love is an exceptionally close bond between people. I tend to think that if someone were to die one day and you knew if you were quite distraught then you had some close bond to that person bordering on love. However love can be tricky to define. 14 minutes ago, charlieschmitt said: How do you know whether you lack the ability to love, or you lack sexual attraction? Or perhaps both? I definitely am able to love, so I may not be the right person to answer this but here I go. If one is unable to love then they would feel absolutely no connection to their parents/relatives/siblings beyond courtesy friendship. If one lacks sexual attraction they have no desire to have sex. Those are two different things than can be related, but most definitely do not have to be, nor, I suspect, are most people lacking sexual attraction incapable of love. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 Sexual attraction is defined as the desire to have sex with a specific person. So if you never want to have sex with anyone, it's likely you are asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 @TheAppallingPhantom is correct. When it comes down to it, a lot of people here have a lot of trouble understanding attraction, but what it means is that one has a desire to connect sexually with certain other people under certain circumstances. It's what causes you to be drawn to seeking sex with someone else instead of just masturbating alone to deal with arousal. If one never experiences that desire to actively have another person to enjoy sexual intimacy with, then it's very likely they're asexual Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 love can be missing without a relationship to facilitate it. attraction comes more freely, so not knowing what attraction is can be a sign of asexuality 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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