AmorphousBlob Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 So... I was pretty sure I was polyromantic. Now? Not so much. I was talking with a friend yesterday and she mentioned something that caught my eye. She talked about internal compulsory heterosexuality, and how she'd think she was having crushes on guys, but they'd fade immediately. I'm beginning to think the same might be happening with me, but with polyromanticism. (Is that the right way to word it?) I recently realized I have an asthetic attraction to feminine people. The gender doesn't matter, just the gender expression. Guys tend to be much less fluid in gender expression, so it wasn't very often that I thought a guy was cute. I think I mistook that for being polyromantic, being able to like any gender except guys. None of my supposed crushes ever lasted. Most of the time I had to convince myself that they were even crushes in the first place. They went away almost immediately, and were replaced with definitely platonic feelings. Also, the exact same thing happened when I was much younger. I would convince myself I liked this one guy, but the feelings were short-term and superficial. Does anyone have experience with this, or a way to tell the difference between asthetic and romantic? Please send help. Very lost and confused. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! I've never experienced any crushes, but you might find this post helpful, Link to post Share on other sites
Phalena Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 That's what I felt often, too. You're completely fine, no worries. I'd say romantic is when the signs of a crush stay and you really feel the need to be around the person of choice. And want to make them happy and all the yadada that's always the topic of stories not even related to love in the first place but without the (obligatory) bed scene. To me it's mostly theory though. I've said to be biromantic so far, but still haven't found someone for the description above, so maybe I'm wrong. But that's fine, too since you can be comfortable around a lot of people nontheless! Hug or cake? Link to post Share on other sites
AmorphousBlob Posted October 21, 2018 Author Share Posted October 21, 2018 Wow, okay, I know this didn't take long, but I was scrolling though some of the pages (thanks for the links man) and realized something. This whole time I've been thinking about orientation as the feelings that come along with it, but that's not all of what orientation is. I never really thought about orientation as the actual desire to be in a relationship with someone. Now that I realize this, I know that sounds odd. But I had always though of the two as separate. Like, there was attraction and then there was the desire to act on said attraction. And orientation was just the attraction itself. Now I think that the two are both part of orientation. The desire to be with someone is a large part of someone's orientation. I desire and form very deep emotional bonds with people, but I never want an actual relationship. Where did that misconception even come from? I genuinely have no clue. But for some reason I've always thought that the emotions people felt towards others were the only thing that made up orientation. So I think the misconception came from me thinking about orientation and attraction as the exact same thing. And then thinking about attraction as the lovey-dovey feelings that people kept talking about. That led me down a rabbit hole of trying to figure out what those feelings were and how to recognize them, even though the answer was right in front of me. Realized I wasn't even trying to find the right place. No longer as confused. Thanks. Can I hug the cake? Edit: Made it make a bit more sense IN CONCLUSION: I have no clue what I'm talking about, please don't take offense, I now consider myself aro, and I need more sleep Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
AmorphousBlob Posted October 21, 2018 Author Share Posted October 21, 2018 1 minute ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said: thanks man Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 Welcome! Have you heard of squishes? They’re basically platonic crushes, where you meet someone and think “I wanna be their best friend” or “I wanna hang out with them” or something along those lines Link to post Share on other sites
AmorphousBlob Posted October 21, 2018 Author Share Posted October 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Lichley said: Welcome! Have you heard of squishes? They’re basically platonic crushes, where you meet someone and think “I wanna be their best friend” or “I wanna hang out with them” or something along those lines Yea that sounds about right Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 1 minute ago, AmorphousBlob said: Yea that sounds about right You might be interested in this post then Link to post Share on other sites
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