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MiffKeks

How to respond to a d-pic you haven't asked for?

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
2 hours ago, Antihero. said:

Now that I call malicious! 

You know what else is malicious, cruel, and could permanently damage someone? Sending them a pic of your genitalia when they haven't expressed wanting to see such a thing. It might not be a 'big' thing to you, but for a lot of people it's extremely  upsetting  (and it's disgusting regardless. It's pushing something sexual into someone who doesn't want it and didn't ask for it)

 

I was obviously exaggerating about the harm it would cause (I figured that was obvious) but it WILL help him to hopefully not have such an over-inflated sense of ego that he thinks it's okay to force his penis onto another person. The types of men who force their cocks onto other people are the type of men who need a wake up call about said cock to help them learn to behave with people in a less disgusting way. 

 

If you just creep away shyly you've given the guy exactly what it is he actually wanted, and he will continue to do it to other people. They like the sense of power it gives them, knowing it may have shocked or hurt you (and if it turned you on and you're suddenly gagging for it then they also they got something they wanted. Though of course that never happens with random unasked for dick pics sent to women. Not sure how gay men react to such pics, not being one myself.)

 

It's not okay for males to do this to women (or anyone) and it's not wrong for victims of this behavior to fight back. The fact that they often don't (and that others tell them not to, sigh) is what perpetuates the behavior. I shouldn't be having to explain all this is this day and age.

 

I would be saying the same if a woman sent a pic of her genitalia randomly to a man who didn't ask for it, it's just that that hardly ever happens (I've never actually known a man or woman who received unwanted pics of a woman's genitals but I guess it does happen). 

 

The behavior is not okay and one needs to quash the impulse of that person to do it. The way to do that is to make them feel shame as a direct result of what they did, and they'll think about that next time they go to do it, worry they might get the same reaction, and that may prevent them from sending the pic. That, in the long run, is better for everyone (the perpetrator included).

 

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Antihero.
3 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

You know what else is malicious, cruel, and could permanently damage someone? Sending them a pic of your genitalia when they haven't expressed wanting to see such a thing.

How can a dick pic psychologically damage you? I don’t get it. And have never heard of this having any such effect. It’s inappropriate and unpleasant but it doesn’t actually have any influence on anything. (Now this is different if stalking is involved, they don't stop and the person starts harassing someone, then sure, that’s a threat and one should use all means to bring the person to justice but that’s not the same as a random dick pic we're talking about here.)
 

3 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

I was obviously exaggerating about the harm it would cause (I figured that was obvious)

I didn’t say that this would actually cause the harm that you described but that the intention and urge, the wish to cause such severe psychological damage and ‘utterly shatter’ someone for it is in itself malicious. 
 

3 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

If you just creep away shyly you've given the guy exactly what it is he actually wanted, and he will continue to do it to other people. They like the sense of power it gives them, knowing it may have shocked or hurt you (and if it turned you on and you're suddenly gagging for it then they also they got something they wanted. Though of course that never happens with random unasked for dick pics sent to women. Not sure how gay men react to such pics, not being one myself.)

I don’t see how it gives this person power if you respond with a joke and carry on with your day without getting crazy mad and feeling the will and urge to destroy him and overdramatize. If anything it shows you aren’t shocked and that it doesn’t affect you in anyway. The outrage and anger, the insult  on the other hand is actually an extremely intense reaction to it meaning that you  let it get to you and that you bother, that it affects you and that you think about it more than it deserves attention and thought and you also demonstrate this to the person who send you the inappropriate picture if you react like this. 
 

3 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

It's not okay for males to do this to women (or anyone) and it's not wrong for victims of this behavior to fight back. The fact that they often don't (and that others tell them not to, sigh) is what perpetuates the behavior. I shouldn't be having to explain all this is this day and age.

I never said that it was appropriate, I never said it was ‘okay’, I didn’t say it was normal and not fucked up or that people should send pictures of their genitalia, they obviously shouldn’t that goes without even saying. It’s obvious that this behaviour is wrong. I said this was trivial and not worth the fuss and not worth the intense hate and feeling the wish to destroy that weirdo for it. Getting worked up about it is a waste of engery too really. 
 

3 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

I would be saying the same if a woman sent a pic of her genitalia randomly to a man who didn't ask for it, it's just that that hardly ever happens (I've never actually known a man or woman who received unwanted pics of a woman's genitals but I guess it does happen). 

I know of such a case, more severe than just a simple dick pic but still involves a woman exposing her genitalia unwantedly. It happened in my school. There was a crazy chick who send some dude pictures of her genitalia onto his phone continuously (not via internet, phones didn’t have internet back then) and she did that while in class with him, knowing this guy as a classmate, being only a few meters away from him, so actually being physically present and not kilometres away behind a computer screen not knowing the person they send it to and she didn’t stop harassing this guy in different ways either even when told to stop and leave him alone more than once until the teachers got involved. So that’s actuall worse than what's described here. So yes, it does definitely happen. I also know a man who has been sexually abused by a woman, what is a real thing that should not be overlooked or only adressed in a half-assed way. 



 

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Scott1989
On 10/20/2018 at 12:26 PM, Mona Lisa said:

Fight fire with fire. Send a random dick pick back at him. 🤣

 

Or ask for his mom's contact info so you can forward it to her. "Look what your son sent me. You must be so proud."

Ask?

 

Just find the mother on facebook or something and send it back as this woman did:

http://www.ladbible.com/community/fail-woman-sends-unsolicited-dck-pic-to-senders-mum-20180701

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timewarp

I do think reporting him to the police is appropriate. Let the police decide if they don't have time for it.

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Alejandrogynous

Dju68S9V4AA6zVT.jpg

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
On 10/24/2018 at 10:16 AM, Alejandrogynous said:

Dju68S9V4AA6zVT.jpg

 That's perfect lol.

 

@Antihero. want to keep defending the person sending people random pics of their genitals? I personally find it quite interesting reading the way you're getting yourself into a twist over the fact that people take issue with this.

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Just Dani

You mean, besides laughing my a$$ off? 🤣🤣🤣

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Antihero.
7 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

 

@Antihero. want to keep defending the person sending people random pics of their genitals? I personally find it quite interesting reading the way you're getting yourself into a twist over the fact that people take issue with this.

I’m not getting myself into any kind of twist.  Nor am I defending them. I’m just saying it’s not worth your malice, irrational fuss and overreaction and hysteria. Cry me a bloody river.

The joke is  fine. Threatening and actually reporting someone to the police for something they haven’t done obviously isn’t. There you have it, that’s what you wanted to hear huh! It’s actually sad that one has to say something like that nowadays and that there are people who are proud of supporting people who make false accusations as you apparently are.
I do generally condemn reporting innocent (as in haven’t done what accused of) people for disgusting severe crimes potentially destroying their whole lives and their families and maybe even getting them convicted when they haven’t committed those crimes because I am not a piece of garbage and every normal person would condemn this. 
Falsely accusing someone of crimes they never did and lying to the police is a crime by the way. It’s actually a disgrace that people seem to think it’s okay to destroy other people’s lives and abuse the justice system like that.

Not that you’d get what I am saying anyway. So this whole conversation is a waste of my time I suppose. 

 

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Kayze
On 10/20/2018 at 12:20 PM, FictoCannibal. said:

That cake looks great thanks! *noms while I respond*

 

You need to

 

1) make sure you've got screencaps of the convo and the pic (send them to your email then delete them off your device so you don't have to see them) JUST IN CASE stuff goes further and you need to take it to the police

 

2) respond to the pic "ew, that's way too small"

 

3) then instant block so you don't get any responses from him.

 

This will utterly shatter his ego surrounding his dick, and the fact that you don't respond to any future messages will cause him a lot of stress and anxiety because men like this LOVE attention. If you delete him without responding he may be left thinking you enjoyed the pic but are too shy to respond, yet if you tell him 'ew that's too small' then NEVER respond to him again he'll be left only with total, utter rejection of his pride and joy and won't get the boost of you at least continuing to respond to him. You MUST block him and never speak to him again after the insult.

 

Normally I don't condone crushing someone in this way but this guy needs a wake-up call about the correct way to act with women!!

I don't think revenge or any attention is helpful.

 

Attempting to hurt pride or give actual attention can likely escalate the situation. I mean, on a dating app, a block tends to prevent them from further finding you but it's not bulletproof. They could search your uploaded image for any matching social profiles. I mean, you see how certain men start harassing after rejection, right? So, if you just want a good solid option, block. You can report them too if you want, most dating sites/apps don't allow pornography. Hopefully the blocks and reports will start to get them to think... But maybe not.

As for me, I either block out right (if that's the first thing they send me) or I try to act as disinterested as possible and even try to make them feel self conscious for showing it. Of course the latter option is only good if they were a decent person to begin with.

 

On 10/23/2018 at 2:16 PM, Alejandrogynous said:

Dju68S9V4AA6zVT.jpg

"Whats wrong w u" says the person throwing around pictures of their junk to strangers. rofl

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RedSheep2

Some of the replies in here are GOLD! Hahahahaha!!!!! 

 

However, delete/block is the best course of action. 

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)

 I just find it weird that the person who responded to me pretty much said it's not helpful to make them feel bad about their behaviour, then cracked up laughing at the person who freaked the guy out over the pedophile thing (by the implication he sent a picture of a small child's penis). To suggest you're going to report someone to the cops for pedophilia (as a result of you pretending you think their cock is so small it could be a little boys) is actually much more extreme than what I myself was saying and could get a man in a lot of trouble until the situation is resolved.

 

@Kayze for this reason your response has baffled me ever since you made it but I can't be bothered getting into it hence why I never replied. Your attitude just seems really strange to me. 

 

I was merely suggesting a little laugh over dick size so that he'll think twice about doing it to some other girl in the future. You took issue with that, but cracked up laughing over the idea of reporting him to the police as a pedophile because his dick is so tiny it must actually be a kids dick :wacko: ..Yup, it's no less baffling than it was when you first made that response.

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ParadoxGenie
On 10/23/2018 at 4:28 PM, Antihero. said:

How can a dick pic psychologically damage you? I don’t get it. And have never heard of this having any such effect. It’s inappropriate and unpleasant but it doesn’t actually have any influence on anything. (Now this is different if stalking is involved, they don't stop and the person starts harassing someone, then sure, that’s a threat and one should use all means to bring the person to justice but that’s not the same as a random dick pic we're talking about here.)
 

I didn’t say that this would actually cause the harm that you described but that the intention and urge, the wish to cause such severe psychological damage and ‘utterly shatter’ someone for it is in itself malicious.
 

I never said that it was appropriate, I never said it was ‘okay’, I didn’t say it was normal and not fucked up or that people should send pictures of their genitalia, they obviously shouldn’t that goes without even saying. It’s obvious that this behaviour is wrong. I said this was trivial and not worth the fuss and not worth the intense hate and feeling the wish to destroy that weirdo for it. Getting worked up about it is a waste of engery too really. 
 

I know of such a case, more severe than just a simple dick pic but still involves a woman exposing her genitalia unwantedly. It happened in my school. There was a crazy chick who send some dude pictures of her genitalia onto his phone continuously (not via internet, phones didn’t have internet back then) and she did that while in class with him, knowing this guy as a classmate, being only a few meters away from him, so actually being physically present and not kilometres away behind a computer screen not knowing the person they send it to and she didn’t stop harassing this guy in different ways either even when told to stop and leave him alone more than once until the teachers got involved. So that’s actuall worse than what's described here. So yes, it does definitely happen. I also know a man who has been sexually abused by a woman, what is a real thing that should not be overlooked or only adressed in a half-assed way.

La de da, okay~ I know you get it's not coolio. But like, there are people out there that find constant unwanted advances as a threat to their personal safety. Girls tend to like, you know, get a lot of unwanted advances in the form of someone showing their dick or cat calling. You know what that says, it says the bros want them. And if you know about the culture of today in anywhere in the world, you know why a lot of girls would rather shut themselves in or not walk alone at night, compared to guys. So, review: Dick pics, even if it's one random guys instead of just one singular guy, still has the same result as one creeper doing it. But, when a lot of people do it, it's culture and hard to run from, when it's one random blue moon never happen again not part of culture uncultured swine that does it, then you know it's easy to just take care of it, and not worry, and not panic, and like not worry that you'll probably get the big trigger warning r word. 

Sooooo yeah, even a picture is the same sexual harassment as being felt up or shown in person. It can be as scary too, and yeah, it can cause psychological harm to people. Specially when most people want you to just be silent and pretend it never happened, and no justice will be served for that ONE time, because what is justice these days.

Lastly, it just takes one traumatic event to change your life. No one gets to decide when or if it happens to them. and yeah, sexual harassment or abuse or what-have-you can impact lives waaaaaayyyy deep. So if someone wants to jest, and get a little bit of salt in there against the person that has done them a form of harassment or abuse, Don't worry about it so much next time~

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anisotrophic

Jesus, I'm so glad I never dealt with d pic crap.

 

Yes, it's sexual harassment.

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sababajwa
On 10/18/2018 at 12:03 PM, MiffKeks said:

Hello everyone!

 

So, there is this guy who I do not even know in real life. He immediately tried to flirt with me in an unappropriate manner. I voiced my concerns but the only answer was a photo of his "pride" and now I'm wondering how to respond properly. Or should I do nothing? I don't think that reporting him to the police would lead anywhere. They'd propably just say: delete and block. It's not worth our time. Or I'm wrong with that...

 

I don't know.

 

It's hard to talk about this in the first place since I'm utterly confused... 😐

 

Cake? Anyone?la-fo-proof-chocolate-cake-20160213&f=1

I never got one before just some guy online sent me it then my real life friend sent me it I’m not gonna lie it looked nice but I’m asexual and I already had a partner but I stay away from sex but I do wish I had sex but I never imagine anyone wanting me

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QueenOfTheRats

Tell him it's gross. Even sexual people think dick pics are nasty sometimes.

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Sally
On 12/7/2018 at 7:41 PM, ParadoxGenie said:

Sooooo yeah, even a picture is the same sexual harassment as being felt up or shown in person. 

You must not be serious.  A picture is hardly comparable to being felt up in person.  But maybe you've never been felt up.  

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(NotSo)DirtyDiana
On 12/8/2018 at 3:41 AM, ParadoxGenie said:

La de da, okay~ I know you get it's not coolio. But like, there are people out there that find constant unwanted advances as a threat to their personal safety. Girls tend to like, you know, get a lot of unwanted advances in the form of someone showing their dick or cat calling. You know what that says, it says the bros want them. And if you know about the culture of today in anywhere in the world, you know why a lot of girls would rather shut themselves in or not walk alone at night, compared to guys. So, review: Dick pics, even if it's one random guys instead of just one singular guy, still has the same result as one creeper doing it. But, when a lot of people do it, it's culture and hard to run from, when it's one random blue moon never happen again not part of culture uncultured swine that does it, then you know it's easy to just take care of it, and not worry, and not panic, and like not worry that you'll probably get the big trigger warning r word. 

Sooooo yeah, even a picture is the same sexual harassment as being felt up or shown in person. It can be as scary too, and yeah, it can cause psychological harm to people. Specially when most people want you to just be silent and pretend it never happened, and no justice will be served for that ONE time, because what is justice these days.

Lastly, it just takes one traumatic event to change your life. No one gets to decide when or if it happens to them. and yeah, sexual harassment or abuse or what-have-you can impact lives waaaaaayyyy deep. So if someone wants to jest, and get a little bit of salt in there against the person that has done them a form of harassment or abuse, Don't worry about it so much next time~

 

I have to say, as I was reading this thread I wanted to mention personal safety. As someone with anxiety, someone who's... quite delicate emotionally, talking to someone on the internet and suddenly receiving dick pics is scary. But it depends on the situation. A dick pic from an egotistical guy on Tinder? Just get rid of him. (Note, I've never used Tinder, so don't know how it works exactly.) But a dick pic from someone you've been chatting to a while, someone you thought you trusted, had nice discussions with... it's really disheartening. And it can be scary. In my case, it was someone from an anxiety/mental health forum. They insisted they couldn't help it because they were lonely, no woman found them appealing, they lacked confidence. They sent these pictures repeatedly and asked me questions about my fantasies, my preferences, and my feet - because they liked feet. They would then apologise. Around it went. They were suicidal, so what was I to do? I like the jokes suggested here, and part of me thinks yes, say something bitchy and sarky and then be like, byyeee! But in my situation, that might have been dangerous. For him, or for me. He was pushy. He spammed me. He was suicidal. I felt really trapped. Eventually I stopped speaking to him. It's not exactly like physical harassment, but online harassment can be very distressing, a real invasion, and it is possible to obtain personal information. Especially if it's someone you talked to for a while and exchanged ways of contact. You just don't know what someone's like. I've never experienced this with someone I already knew in person, but I imagine it would be alarming, make you question how well you really know them, what people are hiding, and of course if you see them in person you might be scared of physical harm. 

 

 

I agree that dick pics are never OK and women who get them do feel invaded. Maybe if it's Tinder you can say something funny, laugh and block, but it does depend on where it's from. Probably the best thing to do is stop talking, if able. 

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Eclectique

I received a dick-pic just yesterday! I was chatting with a fellow illustrator on instagram. I draw nude figures. He also draws nude figures and I really thought we were just talking about art and drawing. Well, until he send me 'some inspiration'. Sigh...

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dragongirl7879

I'm trying to think what I would do lol. Most likely panic, block, and delete, but if I was in a more cool-headed frame of mind, I might calmly explain that actually, the sight of a penis does nothing for me (like seriously, I am completely baffled about why people find genitals attractive by themselves... it would be like someone sending me a picture of their wrist, it tells me nothing about whether I find someone attractive) except tell me he's not the kind of person I'll ever get along with romantically.

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dragongirl7879
On 1/6/2019 at 4:42 AM, Eclectique said:

I received a dick-pic just yesterday! I was chatting with a fellow illustrator on instagram. I draw nude figures. He also draws nude figures and I really thought we were just talking about art and drawing. Well, until he send me 'some inspiration'. Sigh...

Hahaha, sorry. But like, maybe he was trying to be helpful and is just really, really un-self-aware? Seriously though, what a weirdo....

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James121

I’d send it back with a message.....

 

 

 

Not known at this address

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Nowhere Girl

One really basic thing I wonder about: do guys really think that women like d-pics? Or is it rather that they can't control themselves?

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MiraMeyneth

If you really want to creep the guy out, just offer to send one back. This probably won't work if you've set an image of yourself as your profile picture, but if you haven't, the original sender will probably get spooked.

 

But if you want to be sensible, blocking is probably the safest way.

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Raedwald
On 1/18/2019 at 2:08 AM, Nowhere Girl said:

One really basic thing I wonder about: do guys really think that women like d-pics? Or is it rather that they can't control themselves?

I saw a study a couple of days ago about this (which I couldn't find and then googled dick pic study and that was not what I was after at all...) that basically said that the guys who send them think they are flattering you by sending them.

 

 

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Nowhere Girl

Sorry to refresh an old topic, but I've just read something about d-pics (in Polish, so I'll translate it) and thought I'd share it. I'm big on countering sexual aggression, particularly those seemingly more "innocent" types which some people would rather brush off by saying "Soon flirting will be banned" or "Are you saying that having sex and not liking it is rape?".

Quote

Have you guessed why have I received all this male attention? (...) I simply split off with my boyfriend and started going out with friends instead. If there was a male friend next to me, intruders would keep their distance. Male companionship was the only argument which could reach them. Until they felt that I am "taken", they were blind to body language and deaf to messages such as "No, thanks, I'm not interested", "I'm REALLY not interested" or even "F... off finally!".

When I found Magda Staniszewska's text "From staring and groping to a pill in my drink. How I was harassed in Polish clubs" (...), I felt as if I was reading about myself. (...) And praise her for not calling these situations "pick-ups", but openly - harassment. It's really not hard to distinguish both - pestering, groping or undressing a stranger with one's eyes could have been perceived as seductive in the pleistocene. (...) - The moment I leave my bubble, I am a "chick seeking publicity" or a "prude who'd better sit at home and not go to clubs if she doesn't want to be harassed" - Magda writes.

Some readers were visibly shocked by the information thaht being eaten alive with a stranger's eyes is nothing pleasant. "What, has even looking become forbidden?" - they asked. "There is a difference between a healthy attempt to establish eye contact with a stranger and staring at them and not reacting to clear hints that this person doesn't like it" - Magda would answer. "So why are you going to clubs?" - others asked. Indeed, instead of dancing and having fun with friends she could be sitting in teh internets. She wouldn't be harassed there, isn't it obvious?

Obviously it isn't. One of the greater enigmas of the 21st century are so-called "dick pics", or photos of penises, which are sent by their owners to women (often strangers). It's hard to know what they really expect to gain this way. A typical "dick pic" is like the Spanish Inquisition - nobody expects it and hardly anyone is happy about its arrival. One could suppose that just some isolated exhibitionists send them, but according to a British study, 4 out of 10 young women have received them at least once.

A "dick pic" also has a verbal equivalent. Almost every female user of dating apps has received it. Often it starts with normal messages: "Hi, what are you doing", "Maybe you'd go out and have a coffee?". And suddenly, without any warning, the drop the bomb: "I'll f... you so hard that you won't be able to walk", "I'd love to cum on your boobs". Sending such declarations in one of first messages may have some sense if the girl's profile says that she loves "hot sexting". Unfortunately, also those who write that they "love cats and evenings with a good book" receive them.

It must be clear: no woman claims that slimy talk, patting on the butt or receiving a penis photo are as traumatic as being raped. But these are, too, forms of harassment. They are humiliating and violate out feeling of safety. There's no single reason to defend them.

 

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Sage of Nemesis

Yeah, block and delete. It might be tempting to say something sassy but starting a conversation with a guy like that will probably just leave you more uncomfortable than him, unless you're really confident in your zingers. 

 

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chandrakirti

I've only one response to that kind of thing...

 

 

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