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How to respond to a d-pic you haven't asked for?


Phalena

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Hello everyone!

 

So, there is this guy who I do not even know in real life. He immediately tried to flirt with me in an unappropriate manner. I voiced my concerns but the only answer was a photo of his "pride" and now I'm wondering how to respond properly. Or should I do nothing? I don't think that reporting him to the police would lead anywhere. They'd propably just say: delete and block. It's not worth our time. Or I'm wrong with that...

 

I don't know.

 

It's hard to talk about this in the first place since I'm utterly confused... 😐

 

Cake? Anyone?la-fo-proof-chocolate-cake-20160213&f=1

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hopeisnotlost

Don't say anything

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36 minutes ago, MiffKeks said:

They'd probably just say: delete and block.

I'd have to agree with that.

He's not worth your time.

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Anthracite_Impreza

I agree, block and delete.

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Block.  Nothing will get done about it, it's way too prevalent.  About the only sort of situation it might be if it happened in something like a workplace with a coworker, in which case you could maybe bust them for inappropriate work conduct or something (especially if they used internal work channels to do it, which would be really stupid of them), but total random shmuck?  Nothing will happen.

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People have said it already - block and don't ever chat to him, don't debate it, don't discuss it.

 

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I know everybody else here is saying delete and block, and I'd be inclined to agree, but I have to be honest, in your shoes I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take my assholism to the max. I'd have to send a comment back stating something to the effect of "Wow, that's kind of underwhelming to be honest." People wanna send nudes to me, they better be prepared for scathing criticism.

 

But that's just me. Probably safer to block and delete like everybody else figures.

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Celyn: The Lutening

Guess I'm the odd one out because I probably wouldn't be able to resist replying back with stuff like "Is it supposed to look like that? Better see a doctor." Or "OMG why do you have pictures of a child's p****?"

Or just GIFs of people recoiling in disgust.

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everywhere and nowhere
18 minutes ago, Celyn said:

Or just GIFs of people recoiling in disgust.

Yes, yes. This is the kind of reaction I would also support. You know... I don't like GIFs, particularly photo-GIFs, and "at the most particular" I absolutely, intensely HATE listicles with 2-3 sentences and a photo-GIF per list item (I hate all listicles, but this particular kind is a mockery of journalism), I just don't think in images. But in this case I have to agree that sometimes "a picture says more than a thousand words".

I don't particularly like the kind of reaction which implies that that guy's d-k is too small - because it reinforces harmful stereotypes and hang-ups about size and because it could make the OP appear much more sexual than she could prefer. But in this kind of situation, I would definitely try offending the guy. Some kind of expression of disgust might just be the thing. Anyway, he simply needs a message that this kind of behaviour is inappropriate and that sending anyone unrequested nude photos is a form of sexual harassment.

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You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. Do whatever you feel like doing. I don't support ridiculing him like other people here have suggested, though. That's unnecessary and mean.

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15 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Yes, yes. This is the kind of reaction I would also support. You know... I don't like GIFs, particularly photo-GIFs, and "at the most particular" I absolutely, intensely HATE listicles with 2-3 sentences and a photo-GIF per list item (I hate all listicles, but this particular kind is a mockery of journalism), I just don't think in images. But in this case I have to agree that sometimes "a picture says more than a thousand words".

I don't particularly like the kind of reaction which implies that that guy's d-k is too small - because it reinforces harmful stereotypes and hang-ups about size and because it could make the OP appear much more sexual than she could prefer. But in this kind of situation, I would definitely try offending the guy. Some kind of expression of disgust might just be the thing. Anyway, he simply needs a message that this kind of behaviour is inappropriate and that sending anyone unrequested nude photos is a form of sexual harassment.

 

Well, here's the deal as psychology dictates. Even though I myself would be inclined to reply with humor on my part, I know that it's a futile gesture in its entirety.

 

The reasoning of course is that somebody sent a dick-pic to a stranger to begin with. This isn't some random hormone filled teenager sending a picture to his friend or somebody he knows. This is somebody who's sending it for shits and giggles, and to actually garner a response of some kind. There's a one in a million chance a stranger will reply positively to the sender. Most will delete and move on. And some people will get salty over it. A reaction is what they're looking for. Negative criticism won't even make a dent in them. It'll just feed the thing that they're really craving or seeking. Attention of any kind, because they're starving of it.

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I like this articles exploration of the practice. Ends up, most men seem to think women find it flattering and a complement, and most women find it offensive and gross... of course.

 

I think the best thing you can do is block. I personally actually WOULD NOT delete and instead save a record of it lest this person become more persistent; that way you have a record of this behavior if it escalates. In 99 of 100 of these situations, there won't be any future behavior. But better to have a record just to be able to build a case if the guy doesn't get the message.

 

Also, I suggest you don't respond with mean words and don't post publicly to shame; these things will hurt any future case you might be in if this person is persistent. If he is a mutual friend with someone else, I might let them know so they are aware he might exhibit this behavior towards them.... Honestly, I do this even if the mutual friend is a man, if only so that my dude friends know 1) The shit women have to deal with and our opinions on it and 2) That this guy is NOT a good guy and shouldn't be seen as good friend material.

 

Please know that you aren't alone in this kind of abuse. It was nothing you did, you couldn't have prevented this. It's on of those "society problems" where nothing you can say will make certain men believe that women don't like this...

 

I'm really so sorry this happened to you.

 

 

PS. This blows any future case out of the water, but the funniest response to an unsolicited dick pic is actually to send that person a different dick pic back. Just saying, power move.

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Quote

Ends up, most men seem to think women find it flattering and a complement

Highly doubt that.  They're just immature.

 

When you learn you can't just stroll outside with your junk on display (something you *hopefully* learn as a kid), It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to figure out that sending unsolicited images of said junk to other people might be crossing a behavioral line.

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Guest DesertWells

He wants a response, he wants to know you’ve looked at it.

 

Don’t give him the satisfaction of either.

 

Block, but don’t delete. As someone else suggested, having the record there would be useful if he becomes persistent.

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1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

Highly doubt that.  They're just immature.

Who's to say most men aren't immature :P But read the article, it explained that a Harvard profession did research and essentially tied it to "by exhibitionism, or cognitive biases evolved to help with reproduction" and goes on to explain that men who do this think that showing off in this way is what women like. It's also the same men who catcall...

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Only immature men would take a behavior women will repeatedly say is repulsive (sometimes to the point of attempting to take them to court over it) and spin it as "it's because they secretly like it"

 

There's no need to try to justify it any further than that, it just gives them additional fuel for their fire.

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19 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

Only immature men would take a behavior women will repeatedly say is repulsive (sometimes to the point of attempting to take them to court over it) and spin it as "it's because they secretly like it"

 

There's no need to try to justify it any further than that, it just gives them additional fuel for their fire.

As it turns out, there's a lot more guys out there that are either A) Immature, or B) Stupid.

 

And secret option C) Both

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Block and ignore is probably the best thing to do.

 

(I think I'd want to say something like "next time you might try a macro lens", but any response only feeds the person's need for some sort of attention, so I'd keep the joke-y thoughts to myself)

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Like others have said block the number. If you think the person will continue to go weird, then keep it as evidence in a place you don't have to see it all the time. Any response, positive or negative, is feeding attention. There is always the possibility negative attention will trigger some sort of rage that would not be good for you. 

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Celyn: The Lutening
18 hours ago, Puck said:

PS. This blows any future case out of the water, but the funniest response to an unsolicited dick pic is actually to send that person a different dick pic back. Just saying, power move

I like this so much I want to buy a realistic packer just so I can do this.

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Fight fire with fire. Send a random dick pick back at him. 🤣

 

Or ask for his mom's contact info so you can forward it to her. "Look what your son sent me. You must be so proud."

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Tell them it looks like they have balanitis and need to see a doctor fast before it causes penile atrophy 

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On 10/19/2018 at 8:03 AM, MiffKeks said:

Hello everyone!

 

So, there is this guy who I do not even know in real life. He immediately tried to flirt with me in an unappropriate manner. I voiced my concerns but the only answer was a photo of his "pride" and now I'm wondering how to respond properly. Or should I do nothing? I don't think that reporting him to the police would lead anywhere. They'd propably just say: delete and block. It's not worth our time. Or I'm wrong with that...

 

I don't know.

 

It's hard to talk about this in the first place since I'm utterly confused... 😐

 

Cake? Anyone?la-fo-proof-chocolate-cake-20160213&f=1

That cake looks great thanks! *noms while I respond*

 

You need to

 

1) make sure you've got screencaps of the convo and the pic (send them to your email then delete them off your device so you don't have to see them) JUST IN CASE stuff goes further and you need to take it to the police

 

2) respond to the pic "ew, that's way too small"

 

3) then instant block so you don't get any responses from him.

 

This will utterly shatter his ego surrounding his dick, and the fact that you don't respond to any future messages will cause him a lot of stress and anxiety because men like this LOVE attention. If you delete him without responding he may be left thinking you enjoyed the pic but are too shy to respond, yet if you tell him 'ew that's too small' then NEVER respond to him again he'll be left only with total, utter rejection of his pride and joy and won't get the boost of you at least continuing to respond to him. You MUST block him and never speak to him again after the insult.

 

Normally I don't condone crushing someone in this way but this guy needs a wake-up call about the correct way to act with women!!

 

 

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an alternative to all this couldbe simply to say "This behavior is not even considered socially acceptable between allosexuals (or heterosexuals maybe), of which I am not. Please do not continue to act this way to people you meet. I will stop communicating with you now."

 

in  this approach you communicate seriously, do what you can to prevent future occurrences and indicate that communication is over.

no idea if this approach is better or worse, but at least it is trying to fix things in the future

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Delete / block is safest. 

 

The temptation to send something funny back is strong - but there is some risk in pissing off an irrational person. 

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I’ve never received one that wasn’t consensual. If I did, I would very quickly google image a dick pic to send back with no comment because I’m a bitch. 😂

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On 10/20/2018 at 9:20 PM, FictoCannibal. said:

This will utterly shatter his ego surrounding his dick, and the fact that you don't respond to any future messages will cause him a lot of stress and anxiety because men like this LOVE attention. If you delete him without responding he may be left thinking you enjoyed the pic but are too shy to respond, yet if you tell him 'ew that's too small' then NEVER respond to him again he'll be left only with total, utter rejection of his pride and joy and won't get the boost of you at least continuing to respond to him. You MUST block him and never speak to him again after the insult.

Now that I call malicious! Having the intention and the urge to cause someone permanent psychological damage and insecurities over a bloody dick pic is much worse than sending someone a bloody dick pic.
A thought like that never even occurred to me in the slightest over an unwanted dick pic.
I also know other men who are on grindr and apps like those and they could open up a frigging gallery with dick pics they never asked for and they never wanted.
But it’s only ever good for a “WTF” moment before one starts to laugh and ridicule it because some sorry ass weirdo just send a random picture of his dick. It’s not worth any more thought, it’s not worth hysteria, it’s not worth making a fuss and it’s most definitely not worth getting outraged and wanting to harm this person psychologically, it’s not like we’re talking about a stalker or a criminal who is an actual threat here.
I have never heard of any guy getting such angry and malicious thoughts of destroying the weirdos ego completely over something as stupid and trivial like that. 

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