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So for a while I'm starting to consider that Im aromantic


Blissful_Sins

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Blissful_Sins

Halla2 Ik I'm asexual, I'm comfy with that, and ik I like both genders but idk if its sensual only. I mean, I've kissed and cuddled guys before, girls too but never kissed and meh doesn't matter, but whenever I feel like someone like likes me, and when they get a bit touchy, I get distant, until eventually I stop talking to them. Even once I think a girl wanted to hold my hand and I panicked and high-fived her... Wtaf 🤦, idk what exactly I'm asking but maybe some advice? 

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acelectriclady

What is romantic to you? I think that's a good place to start. If you have trouble defining the concept of romance, maybe talk to some non-aro people about what romance entails for them and see if any of it resonates with you. Since you are ace, maybe talk to some aces who identify with a romantic orientation and see how they were able to distinguish between sexual, sensual, and romantic attraction since they are often tied together for allo people.

 

Another way to think about it is what is your intent for kissing, cuddling, etc? Is it just a way to express your affection? Do you just like the way it feels? Thinking of what you want out of your relationships is a helpful way to explore your boundaries and attractions. 

 

Take your time though! I know this can all be overwhelming. 

 

 

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letusdeleteouraccounts

You sound like you’re lithoromantic to me. Lithoromantics like romantic dating in theory, but pretty much lose that feeling when the person likes them back in return. This causes them to push the people they liked away

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1 hour ago, Blissful_Sins said:

Even once I think a girl wanted to hold my hand and I panicked and high-fived her...

Hahahaha. I can see myself doing that, too. You were uncomfortable and that's okay, you don't have to hold anyone's hand if you don't want to. Did she ask to hold your hand or did she just go for it?

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Blissful_Sins
2 hours ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

Hahahaha. I can see myself doing that, too. You were uncomfortable and that's okay, you don't have to hold anyone's hand if you don't want to. Did she ask to hold your hand or did she just go for it?

She just went for it 😛

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Blissful_Sins
3 hours ago, Star Lion said:

You sound like you’re lithoromantic to me. Lithoromantics like romantic dating in theory, but pretty much lose that feeling when the person likes them back in return. This causes them to push the people they liked away

*adds to dictionary*

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Blissful_Sins
3 hours ago, Star Lion said:

You sound like you’re lithoromantic to me. Lithoromantics like romantic dating in theory, but pretty much lose that feeling when the person likes them back in return. This causes them to push the people they liked away

Actually idk, does it still count as lithoromantic if like.. I mean I don't have feelings for the people I mentioned, and you said "when the person likes them back in return" but it's one sided, their side. Does that still count as litho? 

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Blissful_Sins
3 hours ago, ariapahari said:

What is romantic to you? I think that's a good place to start. If you have trouble defining the concept of romance, maybe talk to some non-aro people about what romance entails for them and see if any of it resonates with you. Since you are ace, maybe talk to some aces who identify with a romantic orientation and see how they were able to distinguish between sexual, sensual, and romantic attraction since they are often tied together for allo people.

 

Another way to think about it is what is your intent for kissing, cuddling, etc? Is it just a way to express your affection? Do you just like the way it feels? Thinking of what you want out of your relationships is a helpful way to explore your boundaries and attractions. 

 

Take your time though! I know this can all be overwhelming. 

 

 

Gods of Egypt.. Lol, hmm, you have a pointt, idk tbh why I kiss and cuddle. I prob'ly don't really like the feeling? Well not that as much as dont understand it, well kissing at least, cuddling I like and it kinda makes more sense to me. Isn't romantic more of like... Dating? I guess ik what dating is as a general concept and the happy ever after (lie) (sorry lol) but it doesn't really mean anything to me.. (yet?) 

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letusdeleteouraccounts
1 minute ago, Blissful_Sins said:

Actually idk, does it still count as lithoromantic if like.. I mean I don't have feelings for the people I mentioned, and you said "when the person likes them back in return" but it's one sided, their side. Does that still count as litho? 

Nah not really, lithoromantic has to do with liking the person first. A lot of asexuals get uncomfortable and nervous from people liking them when it comes to what you’re talking about in this case

2 minutes ago, Blissful_Sins said:

Gods of Egypt.. Lol, hmm, you have a pointt, idk tbh why I kiss and cuddle. I prob'ly don't really like the feeling? Well not that as much as dont understand it, well kissing at least, cuddling I like and it kinda makes more sense to me. Isn't romantic more of like... Dating? I guess ik what dating is as a general concept and the happy ever after (lie) (sorry lol) but it doesn't really mean anything to me.. (yet?) 

And yeah, romantic attraction about the urge to date a person

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Sexual = wanting to touch in ways that specifically bring about sexual pleasure.

Sensual = wanting touch in ways that do not bring about sexual pleasure.

Romantic = wanting interactions that you do not view as platonic.

 

Sensuality can fluctuate from day to day and has nothing to do with romanticism either way. The best way to determine if you are aromantic is to first separate what you personally view as interactions that are platonic from what you view as interactions that are romantic. If you never feel drawn to have the romantic interactions, then you are aromantic. If you do, then you are probably romantic. 

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