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I barely think about sex but it seems that I..


EightFourtySeven

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EightFourtySeven

First, I don't know where to post this. 

Second, I'm not sure I'm asexual 

Third, I'm confused

 

Since I found out about asexuality Ive had a bumpy road, contradictions, insecurities, overthinking, you name it

 

Nothing changed, sometime when I see a couple I get a strange feeling that I don't really recognize , maybe it might be close to Jealousy or envy. 

Sometimes when I see a hot girl I get the same feeling

When im reading a sex scene, the same feeling

When I watch people having sex in movies(not porn) the same feeling.. 

It's not something I have constantly, it fluctuates, I can have it 4-5 times a day or not at all.

 

I'm not sure but it might be light envy or light jeaslosy, maybe because I've never been jealous or envyous on anybody or anything, I don't know how the feeling feels, but it's weird it's like a light pressure in my stomach which is there for a couple of seconds which is not so bad, accompanied by a few seconds of lighty but tense feeling of anger, which is not like normal anger. 

And then it disappears. 

Is this sexual attraction? 

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If it doesn't lead you to want to have sex with the person, it's probably not sexual attraction.

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Guest DesertWells

@crocodal

 

You haven’t described sexual attraction per se, but it seems you are describing the angst of having desires, and not being in a position to act on them. Notice I didn’t say sexual desires; you may be simply envious of the intimacy and romance that sexuality involves.

That is very natural, even if you may not in fact want sex, or feel sexual attraction.

 

A few questions that may help you, you can answer these in your head, or here if you like.

1. Do you get turned on, by the ‘hot girl’, or by the sex scene?

2. When you see the girl, are you inclined to look at her more than once? I presume you find her aesthetically pleasing, since you describe her so.

3. When you do either of these things, do you fantasise at all? Do you imagine being in that sex scene, or do you imagine yourself talking (or ‘interacting’ in some other way) with the girl?

 

I am not going to try to classify you based on these questions, and I don’t want to ask anything too personal, but this may help you understand yourself better.

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I've had that fluttery anxious feeling of attraction on occasion. A childhood friend or two, and this guy I really connected with personality wise but at the end of the day when I try and think about having sex or even kissing, I just sort of grossed out or meh at best. I've known or suspected I was asexual for a while, but I'm still pretty new to the nuances of asexuality since it's kind of broad. But I thought maybe it might help knowing I was a confused, insecure, overthinking mess too.

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no, sexual attraction is [ERROR_DEFINITION_NOT_FOUND]

 

its ok to be unsure, you are allowed to say you are Questioning

its ok to experiment, you are allowed to engage in sexuality without certainty, so long as you do so with consent (as in you let whoever you are acting with know that you are not certain about this, that this is a test and possibly only a test)

and it's ok to not experiment. you are allowed to call yourself acesexual even if you are not sure yourself, so long as you make peace with yourself and don't let it eat you from the inside out.

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