Autochorrisexuality vs asexuality?

[Tunes]

I know this question tends to turn heated sometimes, so everyone please try to be civil, but I really want to know what people think on the topic. So please share your opinions, preferably without trying to force anyone else to change theirs. Everyone's opinion should be valid.

 

So, what do you think sets autochorrisexuality (or whichever term for it you prefer) apart from plain asexuality, if anything? 

[Guest]

Autochorrisexuality (world's most ridiculous word haha) can be experienced by aces OR sexuals, because all it does is describe what you think about when you masturbate/the way you think when you masturbate (edit: also how you think when you fantasize). That really shouldn't be something anyone needs to know, and masturbation fantasies often don't coincide with actual sexual preference anyway (I only think about women when I masturbate but am not interested in actually having sex with women - that's quite common) so basing your orientation label around your masturbation fantasies seems pretty fruitless.

 

You're either asexual (you don't want to bang people for your own pleasure) or you're not asexual. Many people masturbate in third person where they themselves are not involved for any reason, many also masturbate in first person, some chop and change. it's a personal preference thing though, not an orientation.

 

So the difference is:

 

Asexuality is the lack of desire to connect sexually with other people for pleasure, it's an orientation like homosexuality (the desire to connect sexually with people of the same gender for pleasure).

 

Autochorrisexuality on the other hand defines how you think when you masturbate and the type of fantasies you have, which varies so much from person to person anyway that it shouldn't need a label. You're still either sexual or ace, regardless of whether your masturbation fantasies match the definition of autochorrisexuality.

[Philip027]

Quote

So, what do you think sets autochorrisexuality (or whichever term for it you prefer) apart from plain asexuality, if anything?

Nothing except that one requires having a libido and fantasies, and the other doesn't, as far as I can tell.

[Sally]

Autochorisexuality is not a term I think is necessary, because from what I hear about masturbation, everyone fantasizes during it (or watches porn).  It has nothing whatsoever to do with asexuality, so they really can't be compared.  

[Guest]

19 minutes ago, Sally said:

Autochorisexuality is not a term I think is necessary, because from what I hear about masturbation, everyone fantasizes during it (or watches porn).  It has nothing whatsoever to do with asexuality, so they really can't be compared.  

Yep. Asexuality is an orientation, (like homosexuality, heterosexuality etc). Autochorisexuality is a term for the way you think when you masturbate. They're not comparable in any way. And I have no idea why people want to go around letting everyone else know how they think when they get off  

[Tunes]

Just now, FictoCannibal. said:

I have no idea why people want to go around letting everyone else know how they think when they get off

I was under the impression that autochorrissexual was an orientation that falls under the gray-a category. I misunderstood, I suppose?

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Tunes said:

I was under the impression that autochorrissexual was an orientation that falls under the gray-a category. I misunderstood, I suppose?

It means that when you masturbate/when you have sexual fantasies you're never involved in them, it's always other people who are interacting sexually. It's like third person, if that makes sense? That's honestly really common (because a lot of people fantasize like they're watching porn, watching a scene play out, if you know what I mean?). Masturbation fantasies also certainly don't always coincide with someone's orientation. A straight woman may fantasize about lesbian sex when she gets herself off, as a random example. That doesn't mean her orientation is lesbian, she's still straight if she only desires sex with men. So the way you think when you masturbate doesn't change your orientation nor does it define your orientation. If someone doesn't want sex with anyone else they're asexual. They might fantasize in third person and not be involved in the fantasies themselves, but they're still ace if they don't want to bang anyone. I don't personally see why someone needs to announce to the world the type of fantasies they have when they masturbate  But yeah, each to their own! I also don't know why someone would call their masturbation fantasies their orientation (because their orientation is still asexual if they don't want sex with anyone, and hetero/homo/bi/pan sexual if they do want sex with other people, regardless of the types of fantasies they have!)

[SithLord]

Why is it a definition isolated to what one does during masturbation?  From the minute amount of information I've found, it could pertain to what turns someone on. Like if someone gets off on voyeurism or whatever. Doesn't just mean masturbation, though the idea of autochorrisexuality sounds like it would be isolated to masturbation because of the not wanting to be involved bit. 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, sithgirlix said:

Why is it a definition isolated to what one does during masturbation?  From the minute amount of information I've found, it could pertain to what turns someone on. Like if someone gets off on voyeurism or whatever. Doesn't just mean masturbation, though the idea of autochorrisexuality sounds like it would be isolated to masturbation because of the not wanting to be involved bit. 

It's masturbation and sexual fantasies.

[SithLord]

31 minutes ago, FictoCannibal. said:

It's masturbation and sexual fantasies.

So the definition is exclusive to that? Huh

[DevilCoconut]

One of my partners identifies as autochorrisexual. She explained it as someone who likes to masturbate over allowing someone else to to do it for her. Like if someone asks for sex, she is most comfortable just masturbating in front of them while they do their thing. She also said she doesn't picture herself in the act of sex.

Personally, I feel like it's more of a subsexuality and not a full orientation. Like it would be the equivalent of me being a low-libidist asexual, asexual being my sexual orientation and low-libido being my subsexuality. In person, I only say asexual if someone asks, because they don't need to know how much I desire sex as a stranger.

[TheAP]

It's a subset of asexuality where people have sexual fantasies but don't desire to act on them with others. People can use whatever terms to describe themselves they want. It's not anyone's business but that person's.

[everywhere and nowhere]

I think of asexuality as a separate orientation and of autochorisexuality as a "parameter" which describes a specific aspect of a person's sexuality. I largely agree with @FictoCannibal., even though I would define autochorissexuality in a slightly broader way - for example one can have erotic fantasies without pleasuring themself at the same time.

Spoiler

(For some time I had a tendency to imagine lesbian sex while pleasuring myself and gay sex without doing so. All my fantasies are still third-person, they don't involve myself, but because of having different "equipment" then men do, imagining gay sex while pleasuring myself felt kinda... strange?)

I don't agree with some who consider autochorissexuals a subset of asexuals - some allosexual people can be autochorissexual as well. However, it seems quite clear that autochorissexuality is much more typical for libidoist asexuals than for allosexuals. I'm quite certain that there are some allosexual people who tend to fantasise in third person, but as far as I know some other allosexuals are genuinely surprised that "there is such a thing" as third-person erotic fantasies.

[Tunhope]

I've researched chorissexuality as much as a non-academic can. I don't agree that it's all about masturbation. The term was coined by Bogaert He described it as the body responding  to sexual stimulation or sexual fantasy without being attracted to the subject of the fantasy . Hence the idea of third person fantasies. He didn't tie it down to masturbation at all.  Absolutely true - many sexual people respond similarly.  Bogaert also made a link between chorisexuality and voyeurism so the term is perhaps pejorative. I have exclusively third person fantasies and I tend to use the term aegosexual or anegosexual to describe myself. I would say my orientation is asexual. I happen to come at it from an anegosexual angle , but I don't think I would call anegosexual a subset given that it's not exclusively ace.

Hi @Nowhere Girl We always seem to meet up on these autochori/ anegosexual threads!

[gisiebob]

.there was a term, like kink...um let me look it up

right, paraphilia.

the water is pretty muddy on its definition, traditionally being used as a clinical descriptor for 'incorrect' sexual attitudes (for example, homosexuality in the past and pedophilia) but it has also been used as 'different' sexual attitudes, not as a pejorative (bad thing) necessarily, just not normal, and thats where autochorrisexual lives.

 

whats the difference between an orientation and a non pejorative paraphilia? hell if I know. English is lot like solving a sidoku puzzle that our ancestors made mistakes on a long time ago!

 

but as far as it being a masturbation thing, I would disagree, but not strongly. it's a very good way to differentiate, especially here where there is a lot less sexual experience. "when you think about pleasurable sexytimes, are you involved in them"'s a good razor.  (hell yeah tripple apostrophe'd!)

but I think it can also be applied to partnered interactions where the person is absolutly involved, in that the focus of the sexual interaction is entirely on the other person(s). a 100% giver you might say, or paralleling the sub archetype in bsdm.