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How to identify?!


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Hey I’m new here and I have some questions! So idk exactly how to identify. Right now I say i’m panromantic ace but sometimes that doesn’t really feel right and every once in a while I question whether or not i’m aro ace. Idrk how to tell the difference between romantic attraction and platonic or sensual. All I know is I don’t feel sexual attraction, but I can still like people and sometimes get to the point where they are on my mind a lot or I have a “crush” on them although all I really want is them to be like with me. Not necessarily dating, just being close (cuddling, hugging, occasionally kissing, etc). Another thing is that when i’m in a romantic relationship, I lose the attraction and realize that i don’t really want to be in the relationship/i don’t really feel what i felt at the beginning of it. Also, i really only have “crushes” on guys (i’m a 16 y/o girl) with the occasional one on someone of another gender but i would be completely open to “dating” anyone. One thing about me though is when I like someone I kinda get all choked up and nervous when I talk to them, and it’s not like that when i have a friend or something. 

 

Sorry if this doesn’t make a lot of sense, i’m tired and not paying a lot of attention to what i’m writing. 

 

If anyone could help that that would be amazing :))) Thanks!!

 

edit: one more thing i forgot to say is i love being hugged and cuddled and i guess just sheltered. also I sometimes i think that my “need for dating” is because of how i have anxiety and i kinda always need someone to talk to and to have someone be there for me to comfort me. i don’t know if that might be playing into the appeal to date at first. i have this amazing friend who i call my wife because she’s always there for me like i explained earlier but i don’t necessarily want to dump all of my problems on her. 

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You might be aro and getting squishes instead of crushes. Or if it stops as soon as you get together, you might be lithromantic.

 

Platonic interactions are interactions that you personally (not culturally) view as friendship behavior. Romantic interactions as interactions that you personally view as something that only couples who are dating do. You can be sensual (like touch) either way. If you crave a relationship that involves distinctly romantic interactions (things that you would not feel comfortable doing with another friend that you felt equally close to), then it's a crush and you are at least grey-romantic. Otherwise, you might be aro.

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@zoeamelias Hello! Welcome to heAVEN! Have an infinite amount of 🍰!

 

You know, you could identify as panfrayromantic. 

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@zoeamelias Welcome to AVEN!

 

The desire for someone to be intimate with in a non-sexual way, e.g. to cuddle, is known as Sensual Attraction.
You could be Hetero-sensual, Homo-sensual, Bi-sensual, etc.

 

You could also be Lithromantic if you stop feeling romantic attraction once in a romantic relationship.

Or Idemromantic if you have difficulty differentiating between romantic and platonic feelings.

 

Incidentally, it's a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

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