Trixter Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Okay, so I've identified as Asexual for four years now, and since finding out that this is a real thing and I'm not just crazy (never feeling attracted to anyone, never wanting a boyfriend, never interested in sex, etc), I have been completely comfortable with my sexuality, just by knowing that it, that I, exist. ...HOWEVER, I never experience sexual desire. Like never, obviously...... But I think I do when I'm ovulating? Do other Ace women experience that? Am I not Ace for having this? Is it really just the hormones in my brain telling me it's "Time to get preggers!" or have I been mis-identifying myself all this time? Am I crazy? Helllp! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TopHatCat Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 I think there is an instinctual component that anyone has, but the question is do you target it at anyone in particular? From what I've read of everyone's experiences, aces can have libido that just aimlessly floats in a void and is never really directed toward anyone. It's like having a blind limbic system. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trixter Posted October 14, 2018 Author Share Posted October 14, 2018 Not really anyone in particular. And yeah these smutty thoughts/feelings turn up when I'm at work or just randomly during the day during this time (usually just a week) and it's more annoying than anything else. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 My partner does occasionally experience an increase in libido during this time. Being ace though, it still isn't connected toward anyone else. My partner isn't necessarily cisfemale, but is female bodied / AFAB. I'll assume that is closer to what you meant anyway 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Captain_Tass Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 @Trixter Well, asexual doesn't necessarily mean non-libidoist. What you, me and every other female-bodied person experience during ovulation is instinctual and makes sense biologically, it's our bodies telling us "TIME TO HAVE A BABY! HERE HAVE AN EXCESS OF LIBIDO JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU'LL DO THE DO". Asexuality doesn't change that. So yeah, it's just the hormones, don't worry about it! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smallnsparky Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Yeah, I'm gonna chime in on the 'weird smut things' but it's never directed at anyone and I have no impulse to find anyone to then sleep with. Usually such thoughts end up drifting to the safe zone of fictional characters. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wood_pots Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 No. I don't feel anything but we are all different slightly, so I would not worry about it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Trixter Posted October 14, 2018 Author Share Posted October 14, 2018 Oh thank god. Yeah I usually daydream about my fictional crushes, and it makes me feel so much better knowing I'm not the only ace female who experiences this. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MayaKitKat Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I do experience that, but only physically. It's just this uncomfortable sensation. Kind of the same way gas can be annoying/uncomfortable. Or neck stiffness. Fortunately, it goes away after up to a week. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunes Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I no longer have periods due to medication for endometriosis. But back when I did, I definitely noticed a spike in my libido - usually a couple days before my period started, sometimes continuing into the first few days, and it was often one of the few clues that I had for when my period was coming (irregular >.<). So that is definitely a thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DexDiamante Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I absolutely notice an sudden spike in my libido a few days before my period starts. Then the rest of the month, pretty much nothing. In fact, it lets me know my period is on the way lol. This is definitely a thing and you are totally still ace. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EngineeRaven Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Yup, once or twice a month, then nothing. It's normal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 For both asexuals and sexuals it's totally normal to get a spike in libido around that time. So yeah, what you're experiencing is totally normal. Of course it might change things if, when the time comes around, you're saying that you really want sex--as in, it's your body wanting it. If that's the case, that's actually normal for sexuals. If, on the other hand, you can differentiate being really horny but also know that, if it came down to it, you wouldn't want to have sex--that's more of an asexual thing. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Madao Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I actually do experience it during ovulation. The libido spikes way too high, and suddenly my body just wants to get laid, while my mind is strongly protesting against it. Libido is highly annoying at times. However, my sexual desire isn't directed towards anyone. If it's directed to anyone in particular, then it's sexual attraction. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 I've heard that a spike in libido during ovulation is normal. I don't have a libido though so the only signs I get are cramps and an increase in appetite.... like spending the whole day eating goldfish and oreo's type of appetite. Everyone's body is different. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lunala Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 Personally for me, I do sorta feel more likely to get crushes/squishes but I still feel very little libido/sexual attraction. I think it varies from person to person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BuckeyeChick Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 I would say it is perfectly normal. At times I have self gratified, but that was a rarity. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mreid Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 I notice a spike in something, but I can't even say for sure that's my libido or if it is, it sure works in a strange way. During those days I feel an increase in energy, like a generalized tension all over my body. During this time sometimes I feel so full of energy I can't sleep, or I just feel like walking around and exercising, or I feel more aggressive. I also experience emotions more strongly. However, I have no desire to have sex, get pregnant, masturbate, I get no wet dreams, etc... I still don't experience sexual attraction. I read that hetero women find high-testosterone men more appealing during these days, I feel nothing for them as I usually don't. Showering in cold water, exercising, masturbating, etc... helps relieve that tension. During this time I also feel my heart beat faster sometimes. Substances that increase libido like maca have the same effect. The only noticeable difference during those days is that I experience everything more strongly like I am more alive, and I feel full of energy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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