Am I Asexual? Please Help!

[Anna Marie]

Okay, so here’s what’s going down. I don’t remember exactly how we got onto the topic, but my best friend and I were chatting about the LGBTQ+ community and homophobic people and stuff like that a good while ago. Well, she brought up the topic of asexuals. So after she explained to me what an ace actually was vs what people think they are and stuff, I started to think that I could possibly be one. And let me tell you, I’ve been thinking about it A LOT. 

 

I have ave never been sexually attracted to anyone. I mean, I find some of the people at my school and some celebrities good looking and I do want a boyfriend that I can get intimate with, like yeah cuddle with, hold hands with, and kiss, and stuff like that, but the thought having sex with someone doesn’t pique my interest at all. I have been romantically attracted to people before but never sexually. I don’t enjoy sexual scenes in movies and books and I’ve watched porn like once and I just don’t understand why people enjoy it??

 

As of right now, I do not know if I am asexual or not. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m young (I’m almost 15), but even so, almost everyone that goes to my high school is sexually active. My thought was that maybe it doesn’t interest me because I haven’t had sex (I’m not planning on having sex anytime soon either by the way) before, but the thought of having sex in general does not seem like a fun or exciting time. 

 

So, and I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense at all, am I asexual? Am I too young to decide if I’m asexual? What are your thoughts/advice? 

[TheAP]

You could be asexual. It's possible that might change in the future, but feel free to identify as asexual now if it's helpful to you. And you never have to do anything sexual that you don't want to.

[Alawyn-Aebt]

It is quite possible you are, always stay true to yourself. Even if you find out you are not, always stay true to yourself.

 

I myself am 18 and think I am asexual, yet like most everything else in life nothing is perfectly absolute. Be yourself and if you think you are asexual than that's Great! If you find out later you are not asexual, that's Great also!

[NickyTannock]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

You sound Asexual to me. I realised that I'm Asexual in my early teens, around 14, I'm now 33.
I've never had or desired sex, but I did try watching porn once to see what the fuss was about, and my feelings ranged from indifference to disgust.

 

You might find this helpful it's a short book that's free to read online, http://www.asexualityarchive.com/book/

[Juliatransdress]

Welcome to AVEN

[Rey129]

Hello!

 

It does sounds like you might be at least on the ace spectrum.  Don't worry about your age too much, as many people generally get an idea of their sexuality when they are rather young, and sexuality can change as you get older.  As for porn... I admit to enjoying reading yaoi smut, but I can't really watch actual adult films as generally they make me just uncomfortable.  Just stick true to being you!

 

[Yeast]

You know, I'm beginning to think people aren't quite as sexual as they think they are. Where I exist, everybody is constantly being bombarded with sex. Not actual sex mind you, just the idea of sex and being sexy. So people think they are sexy, or at least ought to be sexy. Everybody wants sex! You do too!! Then somebody like me comes along and the emperor isn't only naked - he's REALLY ugly too. Not at all sexy either. Well, in a madhouse the only sane man is technically the crazy one. Thus, I am the ugly one. The broken one. Something is definitely wrong with me. Yea, I know the truth. I'm not a fool - and I don't give a damn about what all the fools think about me. FCK - the only thing missing is U.

 

So there ... 

[Tunes]

Yeah, most sexuals don't understand why people enjoy porn either. At least the ones I've spoken to.  Apparently most porn just sucks. 

 

But you do sound asexual right now. I think that as long as other people in your age group are feeling sexual attraction and you are not, then you are not too young to say that you are asexual. Just keep in mind that people develop sexual attraction at different ages, so the younger you are, the more likely it is that you will change your mind somewhere along the way. Not to say you will - many don't, obviously. But statistically speaking, there are more sexuals than asexuals, so most people develop sexual attraction eventually. 

 

That being said, labels are not meant to permanently define you anyway. Their purpose is to describe how you feel right now, not limit how you can feel in the future. So as long as you keep an open mind, there is no problem with using the label.