whomst

Hello Hello

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whomst

Hey! I'm Max/Mike/Mika (pick a name, any name), and I'm here because my cousin recommended joining to help me figure out what's happening with my sexuality.

 

((I'm originally from Norway, so I apologise if my sentence structure or spelling is weird. Let's get onto the show.))

 

As for relationships and sexuality, I've had two boyfriends, one girlfriend, and a datemate, and was pretty comfortable identifying as pansexual because I never really seemed to care what was in my partner's pants, you know? Well, until recently, when I decided to actually become sexually active, and I found that I didn't really... experience it the same way that people said I probably would. While I did care for my partner on an emotional level, I found that I didn't really... experience any attraction towards them? In a sexual nature, at least. While the sex was fine, and I enjoyed it like I enjoy hiking or whatever, it didn't really "blow my mind" and I found myself just wanting to kinda stop. Not because I was uncomfortable or anything, but just because I wasn't really... into it in the first place.

 

I thought, at first, that it was maybe just that I wasn't sexually attracted to females. Which was a kind of spooky revelation, given that I was dating a girl at the time, but I really did love her. I'm definitely homoromantic. For completely unrelated reasons, we ended up breaking things off, and I later got together with a guy. I thought that, maybe, the sex would be more... mutually agreeable? For severe lack of better terms. Long story short, the sex was fine, but I just wasn't into it.

 

After that, I really thought about what my sexuality was. After a year of pondering and wondering what was happening, I came to the realization that I did experience arousal, but I didn't experience any form of sexual attraction. Yeah, I can get worked up, but I don't actively seek out others for sex because I'm attracted to them. It's just because I trust that person enough to... physically satisfy us both. That is quite possibly the crudest way I could have put it.

 

TL;DR: Dated a bunch o' people, had sex, wasn't actually interested in the idea but still had a libido. Chaos ensued.

 

Here's a cake for being patient enough to read this:

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Falco Peregrinus

Hi @whomst and welcome welcome welcome to AVEN!

Have some...

:cake: CAKE :cake:

Though it looks like you already have some!

 

If you're curious what the "criteria" for ID'ing as asexual are, there's some helpful info here (the lowdown is that if you don't experience sexual attraction, you're asexual, though many asexuals still experience arousal or enjoy sex).

It definitely sounds like you're not aromantic (lots of definitions here and elsewhere on the AVENwiki if you're curious or haven't heard of that before).

 

Hope that all helps, and that you find everything you're looking for here on AVEN!

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The Angel of Eternity

@whomst Hi! Welcome to heAVEN! Have :cake:!

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Lichley

Welcome! I like your little cake, it’s very cute :) 

61f7aefa05a3ff535fd990d0a62d2340.jpg

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MichaelTannock

@whomst Welcome to AVEN!

 

You do seem Asexual, based on what you've said.

 

You might find this post helpful if you haven't read it already,

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