SiouxieQ

Asexual or Victim and Shame?

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SiouxieQ

I am a former Catholic and grew up in a very strict home.  We never discussed sex and our bodies were things to be ashamed of (it goes much deeper than this but, for the sake of time, let's leave it at that)  I was a virgin until the age of 23 and thought my lack of interest was simply because of my strict upbringing.  Other things happened in my life that...I don't want to get into but I wonder, is there anyone out there who was raised in a similar situation?  Is this asexuality or just trauma and a severe body image issue?  Granted, I know I am ashamed of my body and even talking about sex makes me uncomfortable but lately I've wondered if it's not something more.  I'm just, completely uninterested.  I never recall being interested in or driven by sex.  It is all just completely unappealing.   I am married and feel like I am the world's worst wife.  My husband is very understanding but it is a difficulty in our relationship.  I'm at my wits end and, am already in therapy for severe anxiety and trauma but at this moment, I am looking for any insight possible.  

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Karoushi

hm, well I haven't experienced anything like that but even though you had such strict upbringings, if you were not asexual, you would probably have felt some repressed urged at some point. Especially during your teenage years where that sort of thing usually happens. It's not a healthy place to be in since sexual urges is just a part of life for most people and young people usually explore their sexuality and whatnot. But if you really don't feel anything towards sex, maybe it could be asexuality? 

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The Angel of Eternity

@SiouxieQ Hi! Welcome to heAVEN! Have some :cake:!

 

I've read other users' posts on this and they've had similar issues. I definitely think your lack of desire for sex comes from orientation, not religion. As was mentioned above, if you were (allo)sexual, you'd probably have felt a repressed urge. 

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