Am I aromantic or just afraid to start a relationship

[Lost-]

My entire life I can section off by when someone had a crush on me.  I can remember as far back as 2nd grade.  Now I'm 21 and still haven't dated.  I think I want a relationship but everytime someone confessees I don't feel butterflies in my stomach.  It's more like the urgency to run.  Ive ruined so many friendships by not wanting to date.  I find any reason I can and latch onto it that dating them would be unbearable.  I feel so problematic and like I'm leading them on when I can't even figure out if I'm supposed to be this fearful.  Will I like it if I try.  Will I keep hurting people by making them think we'll date and right before we get to that point I stop it all.  Do I even keep trying.  I really want someone to spend my life with but I don't think anyone will understand 

[Bio 7]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

You might be Aro but only you can really decide if that works for you.

Do you have any past experiences that make you want to avoid dating? I would think that if you really don’t like the idea of being romantic with someone and having that dynamic you probably are, but I identify as Lithromantic because I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. Maybe that term could be useful until you better understand it as I see it an an intermediate step.

[Lost-]

7 minutes ago, Bio 7 said:

Welcome to AVEN!

 

You might be Aro but only you can really decide if that works for you.

Do you have any past experiences that make you want to avoid dating? I would think that if you really don’t like the idea of being romantic wih someone and having that dynamic you probably are, but I identify as Lithromantic because I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. Maybe that term could be useful until you better understand it as I see it an an intermediate step.

My parents divorced a few years ago and I watched them my entire life fighting and sleeping in different rooms. That terrifies me.  But I've also never held a crush on anyone for very long it always disappears when I get to know them. I feel like I want a partner but the idea of always being there for them and being affectionate seems like something I won't be able to live up to.

[letusdeleteouraccounts]

Ok so there’s 2 things that I could see you being from your descriptions

1:  Lithoromantic. The video below is a great example of what that means

Or

2. You’re aromantic wanting a platonic relationship (without romantic affection) but you have commitment issues and your “crushes” are just physical attractions (butterflies from looking at someone’s outer appearance)

[Nibiru]

I can relate to some points of your experience. I also avoid flirting and dating attempts by others. It makes me want to escape the situation as well.  Your quote brings it to the point.

4 hours ago, Ron said:

  It's more like the urgency to run.   

 Sorry I can´t give you any advice. ^^

[everywhere and nowhere]

5 hours ago, Ron said:

My entire life I can section off by when someone had a crush on me.

And I have no awareness of anyone having ever had a crush on me...

[ben8884]

Moved from Asexual Musings and Rantings.

Ben8884 Moderator for Asexual Musings and Rantings