Fluffy Femme Guy Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 1 minute ago, ConfusedAboutMyself said: So it’s like when your body reacts to something physically but mentally it doesn’t feel right? Yes, and I've edited my earlier post to add more info. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedAboutMyself Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 I feel like that a lot! Sometimes I act on it but I think that’s because I’m demisexual and only feel/act on it after a connection but most of the time I feel the arousal I don’t want it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
knittinghistorian Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 1 hour ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said: Well it's not dangerous to one's health or anything. Can be unsettling in a mental way if you don't realize you're ace. Basically it when someone/something arouses you physically, but you don't have a need/desire for sex. It's one of those 'my body and mind do not agree' things, except with many aces the body acting that way on it's own can be upsetting. "I'm physically aroused, but I don't want to be." It can also arise from hormone fluctuations.https://www.deviantart.com/sallyvinter/art/Aces-Wild-15-Weird-Boners-701113623 It's super annoying, is what it is! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
knittinghistorian Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 On 10/11/2018 at 3:00 PM, ConfusedAboutMyself said: I never want to have with someone because they’re attractive. I can appreciate that they’re attractive but it doesn’t do anything for me lol. There's also aesthetic attraction. You can appreciate that a person is physically attractive, but the response of "ergo, I wish to have sex with them" doesn't happen. They can just carry on being attractive from a distance, thanks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedAboutMyself Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 It really is! And it makes me feel bad when I’m in a situation like this where I’m questioning myself. Like my body’s natural reaction to life invalidates my Aceness or deminess. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedAboutMyself Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 5 minutes ago, knittinghistorian said: There's also aesthetic attraction. You can appreciate that a person is physically attractive, but the response of "ergo, I wish to have sex with them" doesn't happen. They can just carry on being attractive from a distance, thanks. I feel that! My friends kinda make fun of me for going “damn, that person’s attractive but I still wouldn’t bang them”, although my one friend just thinks I haven’t found the right girl to “make me turn lesbian” (All of my friends are supportive of the LGBQT community btw, we’re all on different parts of the spectrum. Only one of them knows that I’m trying to figure out if I’m ace or not; we just like joking about it to help distigmatise it) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunes Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 7 hours ago, ConfusedAboutMyself said: So it’s like when your body reacts to something physically but mentally it doesn’t feel right? For me, it’s not so much that it doesn’t feel right (as I don’t really have a concept of what mentally feeling right would even feel like). It’s more that it’s just a disconnect; it doesn’t mean anything at all mentally. Except the fact that (sorry if this is TMI) if it doesn’t go away before I try to sleep, I might have to masturbate to make it stop. If anything, it might make me feel more anxious (but I have GAD, so pretty much anything can make me anxious...). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedAboutMyself Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 45 minutes ago, Tunes said: For me, it’s not so much that it doesn’t feel right (as I don’t really have a concept of what mentally feeling right would even feel like). It’s more that it’s just a disconnect; it doesn’t mean anything at all mentally. Except the fact that (sorry if this is TMI) if it doesn’t go away before I try to sleep, I might have to masturbate to make it stop. If anything, it might make me feel more anxious (but I have GAD, so pretty much anything can make me anxious...). It’s not TMI, I appreciate the honesty. I’ve been in that situation many times before. Personally I normally don’t even bother trying to masturbate bc it doesn’t feel like it’s worth pursuing but other times it’s so annoying that it’ll last for days. It’s the days that it’ll last for awhile that really make me feel conflicted about whether or not I’m Ace or not Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tunes Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 1 hour ago, ConfusedAboutMyself said: It’s not TMI, I appreciate the honesty. I’ve been in that situation many times before. Personally I normally don’t even bother trying to masturbate bc it doesn’t feel like it’s worth pursuing but other times it’s so annoying that it’ll last for days. It’s the days that it’ll last for awhile that really make me feel conflicted about whether or not I’m Ace or not Yeah; I completely relate. That is not uncommon for aces. It's like confirmation that the tubes work - that doesn't mean you want to use them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedAboutMyself Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 I feel like I’m adding unnecessary stress to my current relationship because of my sudden questioning of my self. My bf and I have been together for about 3 months and I just don’t know how to explain this sudden rethinking of myself to him. I’m trying to like, drop hints about it but I don’t want him to get his feelings hurt and think I’m not attracted to him, cause I am but it’s not physical attraction. I mean, yes he’s cute and tall but I dont base relationships o aesthetic attraction Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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