aceunderfire

Unsure if teenage years were hormones, or if i'm not ace...?

Recommended Posts

aceunderfire

The more I think about this, the more I wonder. To be honest, my memories of my teen and early adult hears are kind of hazy. I just have a bad long term memory, so it's not exclusive to this.

 

I've realized over the past few months that the fact that I have a libido but don't experience sexual attraction to anyone can still mean i'm asexual. The problem is, I almost feel like when my wife and I were teenagers, that I felt attraction, but in retrospect, I don't know if that was the case, or if I was just feeling like we had a strong relationship and that of course meant I must be attracted to her. It could also be that I didn't feel that attraction to anyone, but I felt like if I had sex I would find that act that made me feel attraction.

 

In a lot of ways, I was sex repulsed into my early adult years. I didn't want to talk about it, hear about it, etc. I 100% never wanted a romance or sexual relationship with a male, but I felt like I could do it with a woman, even if I didn't feel attraction per se...? 

 

Honestly, memory is so inconsistent, it's hard to know for sure. I also wonder how hormonal changes affect you in that stage of life, I simply don't know. I could have been confusing having a libido for being attracted to people, because I honestly thought they were the same thing until a few months ago.

 

At least for the years I remember more vividly, I know I never experienced sexual attraction. In some ways, I feel like I always had a more 'they're pretty' aesthetic reaction to someone occasionally rather than sexual attraction.

 

Wondering if others have had similar experiences.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cheshire-Cat

I know what you mean. It's hard sometimes to remember exactly what you felt. I think I used to mix sexual and romantic attraction up with being cared for but as I grew in confidence that diminished. Looking back I don't think I've ever really been sexually attracted to anyone, other than noticing someone looked aesthetically pleasing as you say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
aceunderfire
7 hours ago, Cheshire-Cat said:

I know what you mean. It's hard sometimes to remember exactly what you felt. I think I used to mix sexual and romantic attraction up with being cared for but as I grew in confidence that diminished. Looking back I don't think I've ever really been sexually attracted to anyone, other than noticing someone looked aesthetically pleasing as you say.

I feel like that really resonates with me. I tried sex because I was told that as humans that's what we do. I remember so many instances where I just did not understand the 'OMG that person is so hot' mentality, because yeah, they're pretty, but it doesn't mean any more to me than a pretty painting of a landscape. I have a libido, but I don't feel like if I never have sex with anyone ever again that I'm somehow missing something- actually I'd prefer it, and I've felt that for as long as I can remember. I want closeness, but sex just isn't important to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now