[aces only] Do you feel like your body is not part of your identity? (poll)

[TheAP]

I don't know, I guess I'm just aware of who I am in my dreams, and if I notice my body, there's nothing different about it. 

 

I often dream in the 1st person, but like I said above, I sometimes do dream about imaginary stories starring other people. I don't have sexual dreams.

[Philip027]

I have no reason to suspect it's anything different.  I've never been like "oh hey, I have boobs now" or anything.

[NickyTannock]

38 minutes ago, mreid said:

 

 

 

 

How can you tell it's the same body?

 

 

Question for everyone who voted: Does the perpective in your dreams alternate between 1st and 3rd person? Have you ever had that happen during sex dreams, if you have had any?

My dream goes third-person at least once, so I can see it's my body. And my body looks like mine when I look down while in first-person.

[Tunes]

Not like a movie, exactly, but along those lines. My dreams are always from a first person perspective, but I’m not necessarily the same person for the entirety of the dream. Gender doesn’t seem to matter. And I *would* say I have control in these dreams, because I feel like I do, but even in my head I’m not me. So I suppose I really don’t have control. It’s like... playing a visual novel game - I can make choices, but those choices are limited to what the character that I’m viewing the dream from would actually do. I did have one instance where my dream was from the perspective of some kid in the pool and my view suddenly zoomed out and I heard a narrator-esque voice give some kind of ominous line about the character I was just “controlling” having no way of knowing what would happen next, but that moment felt so wtf that it actually woke me up. So I’d say third person like a movie is not common, but I would relate it to something impersonal, like a video game or a visual novel game. (I also play a lot of video games irl and write stories from shifting first person perspective, so that’s probably why I dream that way). It feels personal because I am immersed in the character, but beyond that, there is nothing connecting the dream “me” to the real me. Of course, I have had dreams where I’m definitely me as well (sometimes a distorted version, like I’ve had dreams where everyone, inculding myself, had the image of an undead tim burton style figure, but it’s more for symbolism or atmosphere, and applies to all characters in the dream, not just me). I’ve also had dreams where I started as myself and by the end of the dream, I was another character and the original me in the dream didn’t even exist in the plot anymore. So it’s not black and white; it kinda blurs together sometimes. Like my dream changing genre right in the middle. But if I’m not me, it’s like a video game, but I can’t always tell the difference until I wake up. 

 

*TW - mention of rape and mild detail of male sex organ*

 

As for sex dreams, they are all nightmares. I think one time I might have been male briefly, but I’m pretty much always female. And I’m always running from this half-supernatural guy (even in the dream where I was briefly male (maybe hoping the villian would lose interest?), it was still the same guy) who is chasing me, trying to rape me; not because he wants to have sex, but specifically because I don’t. And it’s mostly running and hiding, and he never catches me, but the most horrific part is the paranoia because of the tricks he tries to pull: 

like often times if I sit or crouch anywhere, I have to look before I go down because he might be literally hiding under the ground sticking his penis up through a hole or something.

 

Always nightmares, the entire dream is paranoia, but I never get caught; it’s all running away and hiding. These dreams are very VERY rare and always in response to extreme stress irl. They are like the ultimate stress dreams. Haven’t had one of these in about 3 years now.

[Fluffy Femme Guy]

20 hours ago, mreid said:

like someone watching a movie? If so, do you usually interact with it?

Not usually much interaction, though I have had dreams where I talk with people I know.
It is very rare for me to have other people in my dreams.

There's times where I'm walking through familiar places (though sometimes warped by the fact it's a dream), or flying through weird landscapes.
I had one dream where I was outside, and could jump really high and glide.

I had a dream once where my father and I was climbing through some geometric wireframe thing.

[Marlow1]

I know it is early days and as more people participate in your poll the figures could change quit a bit, but right now far more of the Asexual folk are saying they do not fantasize. 

 

I cannot fantasize either visually or verbally, I have total aphantasia. My ability to fantasize is very limited and as a result I have only ever been attracted to one person, I have never been attracted to anybody else, not in real life, no crushes, no TV stars, not porn, nothing

 

Sexual folk in therapy have told me that to become attracted they very much use their imagination and projection. I have found that because I cannot easily fantasize, I have not created an ideal, or types in mind. I needed to know my wife for several years before I became attracted to her

 

This article here basically says what the sexual folk have been telling me about how fantasy is needed to become attracted. Almost all of this here I cannot do

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8398808/amp

 

[Guest]

32 minutes ago, Marlow1 said:

This article here basically says what the sexual folk have been telling me about how fantasy is needed to become attracted. Almost all of this here I cannot do

Yeah it's same for me. I have to see someone and develop a connection of some sort to them before I can begin to see them as attractive in a way that actually makes me want to connect sexually with them (or even makes me want to be around them). I don't really have a type, it's until AFTER I've become used to the person's face/body and developed emotions of some sort towards them that I'm able to see them as attractive. Fantasies may follow after that, but I don't really see how fantasy would be necessary for all people to become attracted: It certainly doesn't work that way for me anyway!! 

 

I keep meaning to update you on some stuff I found about 'spatial visualization' which is what you and I were talking about a while ago. The way one can 'feel' what's there as a kind of spatial awareness instead of actually 'seeing it'. Hopefully I remember to relay what I've found to you because it's quite interesting, it will just take me a long time to type it out so I'm waiting for a more ideal time when I have a good chunk of space in my day.

 

Anyway sorry for off topic OP, carry on

[Guest]

On 10/13/2018 at 11:13 AM, mreid said:

Question for everyone who voted: Does the perpective in your dreams alternate between 1st and 3rd person? Have you ever had that happen during sex dreams, if you have had any?

We didn't get asked any of this more interesting stuff in our thread :c I remember when I was around 8 I dreamed of a woman having sex with a grey bull-type creature. I was watching them doing the sex, but could feel it happening like it was happening to me. So it was kind of third and first person at the same time, though I wasn't the woman (she was wearing a long red dress). Most of the time though when I dream about sex (which really isn't often) it's interactions that I'm experiencing first person but in a way where gender (or even body) doesn't seem to come into, like I'm an entity and feeling the interactions through a separate body-type thing. For some reason I almost always am having sex with women in my dreams even though I'm not gay (I don't really use any orientation label). That's my answer for if you asked this question in the other thread  

[Lucinda]

1 hour ago, Marlow1 said:

This article here basically says what the sexual folk have been telling me about how fantasy is needed to become attracted. Almost all of this here I cannot do

Just because someone doesn't have sexual fantasies about an ideal sex partner, doesn't mean they can't if they wanted to.  They may fantasize about an ideal romantic partner, or an ideal vacation, or an ideal house/car/motorcycle, or an ideal job, etc.  But the article you linked is stating that it is a bad idea to project your ideal fantasy onto a real live person.  So if you cannot do it, that is a good thing. 

 

Lucinda

[Joe the Stoic]

Yes, my body is not part of my identity.  I really don't see how I (or anyone) could form an identity around the body.

 

 

[Marlow1]

17 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

Yeah it's same for me. I have to see someone and develop a connection of some sort to them before I can begin to see them as attractive in a way that actually makes me want to connect sexually with them (or even makes me want to be around them). I don't really have a type, it's until AFTER I've become used to the person's face/body and developed emotions of some sort towards them that I'm able to see them as attractive. Fantasies may follow after that, but I don't really see how fantasy would be necessary for all people to become attracted: It certainly doesn't work that way for me anyway!! 

 

I keep meaning to update you on some stuff I found about 'spatial visualization' which is what you and I were talking about a while ago. The way one can 'feel' what's there as a kind of spatial awareness instead of actually 'seeing it'. Hopefully I remember to relay what I've found to you because it's quite interesting, it will just take me a long time to type it out so I'm waiting for a more ideal time when I have a good chunk of space in my day.

 

Anyway sorry for off topic OP, carry on

Yes, I am meaning for instant attraction or fairly soon attraction, I think in these instances in the main folk are using their imagination. And I think that when attraction is not happening quickly a person might think they are asexual when they are not. 

 

I have mentioned in the past how it took me years to become attracted to my wife, this was because I needed a lot of things in place. My brother was secretly playing matchmaker and making sure that I did not forget all the favourable aspects of my then friend. We also had many cosy encounters, many of which were in familiar or romantic settings. We shared many fun times, plus a shared intellect and so on before we got there

 

When I had my brain hemhorrrage I could not remember my relationship with my wife and I was not attracted to her. As part of my rehabilitation my therapist helped my wife and I develop a second courtship so that that familiarity would come back. It took a long time but it worked and I am  attracted to her once again 

 

Both times, when we were younger and this second time it helped to have a third party carrying us along. My wife can and does very easily become attracted and so in theory she did not need the help, but having a friend to help did help her too. You see my lack of attraction can be off putting but having my brother the first time and therapist the second time helped her keep the faith that this could happen, and it did

 

In the process I have learned skills and I have realised that for me this attaction thing is a thing is that requires effort and skill. It is not at all easy like the folk with the active minds eyes discribe

 

I can of course fantasize in my own way now, now that I know my wife well again, but there are no pictures, sounds, smells etc. The best I can describe is that there is a deep feeling of love that I just do not get for anybody else. And there are memories and a little imagination all mingled in. I need her close by to do it. When she is not home it is a lot harder. But like I have mentioned I am gathering more and more skill and we both feel like we are getting there now. And we are both so glad we put the effort in

 

Please do update me on the Spatial Visualisation. I think that plays a big role too

 

Just want to mention too. Most folk with Aphatasia can dream and in pictures with sound etc. I dont get anything, it is the same as when I am awake, blind and silent, just concepts. No dreams about sex or even romance, not as I recall. Boring sod, arn't I lol.

 

 

(I have no idea why my print size keeps changing)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ConfusedAboutMyself]

Sometimes during sexual experiences, I feel disconnected from it. Like my body reacts to it physically but mentally/emotionally I don’t react (if I do, it normally feels bad(?) or empty). It’s as though my body and myself are two different things and they have different opinions about what’s going on. 

Idk if this helps or if it’s normal to sometimes feel like this but I just wanted to share my input for this topic 

[Laplace]

1. No, but I have in the past.

2. No, I definitely identify as a man.

3. 1st person, same body; my dreams are often nightmares that can be horrifically vivid. I often find myself hunted, and I look like I do in real life, aside from any gear that I might have on me.

4. I don’t actively imagine sexual situations. I am indifferent towards sex. However, I can still have sexual dreams, and if I needed to reproduce for whatever reason, I could do so easily.

5. I’m okay with my appearance for the most part, though I’d really like to not have any acne at the age of 24 even if it’s only a few spots at a time 😠. Paradoxically, I think I’m a good person, but I feel like I’m not extraordinarily likeable due to my abrasive cynicism and detached personality.

6. I have neither. I’m quite pleased with my current body and level of fitness. I do not have multiple personalities.

7. I have none of listed conditions.

8. I can dissociate and experience depersonalization. Under heavy stress, I can become even more forgetful, and occasionally I feel like I’m kinda just drifting listlessly.

9. For the most part, no. If I’m stressed or sad, I can feel disconnected.

10. I was diagnosed with social anxiety and minor depression. Overall, I have a very fatalistic and nihilistic view of the world. I do not believe in the existence of a benevolent god, and I believe life is largely unfair. I try to be kind, polite, and affable whenever possible though.

[Marlow1]

14 hours ago, Lucinda said:

Just because someone doesn't have sexual fantasies about an ideal sex partner, doesn't mean they can't if they wanted to.  They may fantasize about an ideal romantic partner, or an ideal vacation, or an ideal house/car/motorcycle, or an ideal job, etc.  But the article you linked is stating that it is a bad idea to project your ideal fantasy onto a real live person.  So if you cannot do it, that is a good thing. 

 

Lucinda

Yes my wife definitely would agree with regarding projections being not such a good thing. She has a very active minds eye and can see, hear, smell, taste, feel everything in her mind, and relive what she is thinking almost as if it is real

 

She becomes attracted to  people very easily, (like a few times each week) but her experience from before she met me taught her to walk away from the instant attraction thing. She has what she calls a first base rule. The very moment that she realises she is attracted or that the other person is attracted to her she moves away and stays away

 

At first when I heard all this I was astounded. I thought she cannot love me if she is getting attracted to other people. By my way of thinking becoming attracted just once, so long as nothing happened, that would be forgivable. But to be getting attracted all the time like she was describing, that was outrageous, or so I thought, but apparently this false love at first sight is common for many sexual folk. And it can lead to psychological harm for some of them. My wife, for one, hates it 

 

Yes, it is also true that folk that can visualise can fantasize about anything, and develop longings for the things that they daydream about. Apparently many of them have to really discipline themselves with credit cards and so on. Not me though. I do not fantasize much about anything. Folk say I am not ambitious, not materialistic and so on. Only because my wife wants things do we have stuff. All of what we own has been her idea. The furthest my thinking goes is about buying my almost all grey clothes. Honestly, my partner and I are complete opposites. She fantasizes about everything, I fantasize about almost nothing. Fantasizing without pictures or sound is hard and nothing like the fantasies a person with a vivid minds eye might have

 

 

(Sorry, I still do not know why my print size keeps changing)

 

 

[Ms. Carolynne]

1 - No

 

2 - Yes, I am a transwoman and haven't transitioned.

 

3 - In the 1st person, but usually I'm unaware what my body looks like; when I do notice, I am often sexless, or female. Rarely is it the same as in reality.

 

4 - 3rd person, and I'm not involved or present.

 

5 - Not really.

 

6 - Neither.

 

7 - I've self harmed in the past.

 

8 - Yes to both. I experience depersonalization and derealization.

 

I'm not sure what you mean specifically by dissociation, as my understanding of it is as a group / spectrum of related conditions which includes depersonalization as well as DID (MPD), and other conditions not mentioned in this discussion.

 

9 - Yes, but not entirely. Given the nature of my dysphoria, it's not so simple.

 

10 - Yes, however I do not have a diagnosis.

[mindlife]

I just want to say that I inhabit my body because I am quite conscious that my life will end and I will not take my body with me. 

[gisiebob]

you ask questions like someone who weilds a scaple like how they saw in the movies. "The cuts look precise, but their placement seems to indicate no functional knowledge of human anatomy."

 

[Epitaph]

Hmm. This particular thread's a puzzle to me as I'm unsure as to where I fall into as far as sexuality is concerned, and for a number of reasons. Will try to elaborate.

 

1. No

 

2. I can't really say. I don't tend to think of my physicalities very much. I don't believe there's a body to match my mind. It just simply is.

 

3. I don't remember. It's been close to a decade since I could remember my dreams. But I do remember the only dream I ever had before I started forgetting. I would merge. In some sections, I would be watching from my own eyes, stuck on the rails. And in other segments, I would be watching myself, unable to alter anything as an observer.

 

4. Sometimes they were in third person as an observer, rarely were they in first person as a participant. Key word is were. Don't have them anymore.

 

5. Moderately so. I don't much like my facial features. Depending on the time of year or situation, I don't much like myself.

 

6. Nope to both

 

7. None

 

8. Unsure

 

9. That's a complicated one. In some instances, I feel like the puppeteer, yes. That's likely because I am in a lot of physical pain related to injury at present. In order to continue moving along, I don't view the pain incoming as something belonging of me. It is merely something akin to the change oil light coming on in the car of which I'm driving. But in other cases, instances of danger or threat, I treat my body as if it were me. It needs to be defended and remain intact in order for me to survive.

 

10. Depending on the time of year and other factors, yes.

[ConfusedAboutMyself]

11 minutes ago, mreid said:

You could feel the physical sensations both of them were experiencing? Does that happen to you often? Does it also happen to you when you fantasize about sex?

 

When you dream of yourself having sex with women is that in the 3rd person? Do you feel what the other woman is feeling?

 

Do your dreams have any protagonist or anyone you feel that, despite not being you, it's like you in another body playing some role (like you are playing a videogame), or do you feel like you are just watching random people do stuff and you don't control anything?

 

You said you dream of yourself, is that in the 1st or 3rd person? If it's 3rd person, do you control your body? Does your body look different? You might have replied to this in another thread, but right now it's difficult for me to keep track of all these threads (but I am working on that).

 

Do you dream in 3rd person? Does your body look different?

 

Do you dream in 3rd person? Are you prone to dissociation, if you don't mind me asking (dont have to answer if you dont want to, of course)? Do your dreams usually have a protagonist type character and if so, is that usually you? Or are they more about watching people do stuff?

 

I'd say you are a realist.

 

Are they usually in 1st person? Has it ever happened to you to alternate between 1st and 3rd person during those dreams?

 

Why grey?

 

Also do you have internal monologue, having aphantasia?

 

Can you experience the feelings of both (or more?) people in your fantasies when you do that?

 

If what you mean is that I seem a bit lost an inexperienced in this stuff, well only the latter is true and the former is partially true.

 

I’ve only had one sex dream (I don’t remember my other dreams very often; whenever I do they’re never about me but it’s like I’m watching a movie) and it was third person and I think my point of view briefly. 

[ConfusedAboutMyself]

13 minutes ago, mreid said:

@ConfusedAboutMyself How about your regular dreams?

I don’t remember regular dreams. Whenever I do remember a dream, it’s about someone else, normally in a bad situation that comes true. And that one sex dream I remember 

[ConfusedAboutMyself]

The dream comes true. So both

[ConfusedAboutMyself]

 

11 minutes ago, mreid said:

@ConfusedAboutMyself So you have premonitions? Interesting. My mother has those too (although they are normally not about bad things I think) and someone else from here also told me they too have that kind of dreams as well. Something else to look into...  do you get those often?

No, not really. That last one was about a year ago but it came true about a month ago. 

[Joe the Stoic]

13 hours ago, mreid said:

Do you dream in 3rd person? Does your body look different?

 

 

No, I don't think I have ever had such a dream.

 

But what does any of that have to do with identity?  I feel like that is a very different question.

[Joe the Stoic]

22 minutes ago, mreid said:

@Vincent Van Schmo You said earlier you don't see your body as part of your identity, and I think how you see yourself in your dreams is your "ego" (your "me"). If you dream of yourself in 3rd person like me what I think that means is that you see your body as something separate from your mind, because it's like you are controlling it from outside of it. Someone who dreams in 1st person I think sees their body as part of their identity.

I get what you are trying to say, but I still think you are asking fundamentally unrelated questions.  Dreams are not particularly coherent or meaningful.  They are just images generated by activity in the occipital lobe.  Notably, the frontal lobe is not known for being more active, and this might explain why we tend to believe the unrealistic things that we see in our dreams.

 

The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that is associated with rational thinking, moral behavior, and abstraction.  In other words, it's the lobe behind all of the complex thought that makes each person unique.  If one's identity has anything to do with an area of the brain, it's the frontal lobe, not the occipital.  I think, by focusing on dreams, you're not getting useful information about questions of identity.

[4108bn]

I feel like a lot of these questions are difficult for me to answer because some just don't feel like they have any accurate responses? I'll just be commenting on the ones I had trouble with:

 

1. I have been on dozens of psychotropic medications, to the point where they almost definitely affect my mental state to this day, but I've been off of medications since I was 18.

 

2. Both parts of the question feel somewhat accurate, but questioning.

 

4. I have sexual visualizations, but calling them "fantasies" would be a stretch. Many are even traumatic. Usually I visualize them in first person, but it's a pretty good mix of both 1st and 3rd person POVs.

 

6. No diagnoses, but I've been looking into DID (formal term for MPD), and it doesn't seem not accurate... so I may have it, but I don't know for sure. Definitely have a fragmented sense of self and parts of my personality have manifested through sometimes dissociative switches. But I do have a diagnosed eating disorder (not comorbid with BDD, and as a distinction, BDD and eating disorders are not the same).

 

7. I have struggled with all of them in the past, and I can't say that all are STILL true, but some are. I did self harm and I PROBABLY DID have some addiction to certain drugs. My physical body has changed so much but throughout the years that people CONSISTENTLY don't recognize me and I have looked like several completely different people. I used to be morbidly obese and I've also developed pretty unconventionally. And I absolutely have a difficult time with actually knowing what I look like or identifying myself, let alone picture it mentally, partially because I've had a fragmented sense of self for so much of my life and I've physically changed so much.

[Tunes]

3 hours ago, mreid said:

If you dream of yourself in 3rd person like me what I think that means is that you see your body as something separate from your mind, because it's like you are controlling it from outside of it. Someone who dreams in 1st person I think sees their body as part of their identity.

Then, out of curiosity, what do you make of my case? I view my dreams from 1st person and feel very much like my body is part of my identity. So it fits to that extent. However, my body in my dreams (and even my thoughts/perspective along with it) changes, sometimes multiple times in the same dream, as I change perspective based on where the majority of the plot is playing out - a lot like a story that shifts perspectives each chapter (like Game of Thrones, for example). So if my body is part of my identity, and this is represented by my dreams being from a 1st person perspective, then why is that perspective so often not from my own body? I'm not challenging you with this question, btw - I just honestly want to know how you are fitting that into your theory, or if you haven't figured out what that would mean in the context of your theory yet. Pure curiosity.

 

3 hours ago, mreid said:

Maybe our senses of what constitutes our "self" are simply different.

Hm. Yeah, I don't think our orientation is determined by our sense of self, just because if it were, I think there would be more correlations in people - like between gender and orientation (since our sense of self would influence both equally), which is a link that is commonly accepted as being nonexistent based on current scientific observations. But because the sense of self has so many components that can be mix-and-matched to such a large degree, I question whether the "sense of self" influences anything at all or (as seems more likely) our sense of self is made up of all of these entirely separate components, such as gender identity and sexual/romantic/etc orientation, in essence making it the exact reverse - our sense of self is only the collection of these otherwise separate attributes. Of course, I currently have more important things than academically researching asexuality (as fun as it would probably be) to put my time and energy into in my life right now, so I don't plan to debate this on an academic level with sources and all that. And without evidence to back me, my claim here is just an opinion and only useful as food for thought. But either way, food for thought can be useful, too, as another consideration/alternative theory, if nothing else (especially if based in logical progression). I do like the sound of @Vincent Van Schmo's argument above though - it seems to make logical sense. If dreams are indeed run by a completely separate part of the brain, it would follow that dreams would function through entirely different rules than our normal (waking) sense of self. Not to say they are entirely separate either, of course - often our dreams do reveal things hiding in our subconsciousness (and often our consciousness as well). However, as a moderately successful dream interpreter, I can say one thing for certain - what symbolism matters in dreams and what exactly those symbols represent can be as varied as the individual themself and often are best interpreted not by the interpreter, but rather by the dreamer themself (interpreters seem more useful for asking the right questions and helping to piece together the information and symbolism given by the dreamer into something that makes sense to the dreamer, a lot like tarot reading - because if the conclusion does not make sense to the dreamer, it's almost guaranteed to be wrong). So I'm not sure the findings are useful enough to generalize to everyone in the same way, like we are trying to do here. I think dreams are more complex than this can give them credit for. 

[Bronztrooper]

For #4 I put 'N/A' because what few sexual dreams I have are in 1st person, but either a) I see 'my' body, but it's not really mine, or b) I don't see 'my' body, but I feel like it isn't mine to begin with.

 

Not sure what to make of that, tbh

[Marlow1]

@mreidI have Total Aphantasia, meaning, I do not re-experience any of my senses in my mind, no visuals, no sound, no smells, taste or touch. I have no internal monologue, I think in terms of concepts

 

I do not have an internal monologue. I just know what I am thinking

 

When I recall an event I do not relive it. I do not relive the emotions either, instead I will recall what happened and know how I felt and then I will have a feeling about that

 

For instance, when I think about my parents dying, I get sad, when I think about times when we had great times I am happy. But I cannot see them, or anything like that

 

My wife is at the opposite end of the scale. She has vivid images, with sound and all the other senses. She re-experiences the emotions from the time and her recollection is so realistic it often feels like it is happening right now

 

Because my mind works on concepts, with all that I do in life, to know if I really like something I need a lot of information, this is why it is so difficult for me to become attracted to another person. Even if I like their looks and/or personality I will not become atttacted. It took years for me to become attracted to my wife, we had to have a lot of romantic encounters, plus in my case, having a third party (my brother) reminding me of all of her positive aspects, helped a lot

 

In regards to the grey clothing....When I am in a store and I look at the clothing there is no way for me to imagine what I will look like in a given outfit. Growing up in the 50s we all wore grey plus everybody appeared to be wearing grey on TV.  I guess this is why I am still kind of confident that grey is OK. I can wear other colours but generally I will go for the grey, it feels more familiar to me.

 

I am like this with everything in life, my decisions are all very basic. For instance my friends by flash cars and pay a lot of money for them, my cars are always practical and affordable. Advertising does not work on me either 

 

Because of the brain hemhorrage my wife and I are using relationship therapy. We have met a lot of couples that you might say are in 'mixed relationships'. The folk that are more sexual often describe having vivid imaginations, and some have addictions, or other psychological issues that require a minds eye, PTSD for instance. Those of us with less imagery tend to fantasize less and tend to see the world in a more factual way. It has been helpful for both my wife and I to listen to folk from both ends of the phantasia spectrum to understand why we see certain things so differently

 

My wife can easily become atttacted to people, but because she believes in monogamy she believes instant atttaction is not a good thing and she has put strategies in place to avoid it. Me, I have never had to do this, I just naturally do not get attracted

 

I thought everybody was like me. I had no idea that folk get pictures in their minds and so on. This was not a problem until after the brain hemhorrage. After the brain hemorrhage I had forgotten my relationship with my wife and in the process I lost attraction to her. I returned to the way I was before we met, which was attracted to nobody

 

I am now atttacted to her again but I still remain not attracted to anybody else. I met my wife when I was 33 years old and I am now 63 years old and in my entire life she is the only person that I have been attracted to. I have built up a very special concept of her in my mind and all the things within this concept are what make me attracted to her only

 

Hope this makes some sense. Quit a lot of people at AVEN have Aphantasia

 

 

[Bronztrooper]

2 hours ago, mreid said:

Does it feel like you are not the one controlling it, or it is moving on its own?

Not sure, tbh.  I guess it mostly feels like it's moving on its own.

[Janus the Fox]

In a similar way to my gender, the mind and that of the body are totally different to on e another, yet I've sought peace and accepted it as it changes.

 

On psych medication to stabilize mood from Manic-Depression, there's no cure for voices thus it's a positive experience to enjoy. 

 

There's little to no dreams, for the few are bizarre in nature, most recurring if ones that involve skin and flesh pealing, losing teeth and that of the mouth stuffed with something, pulling out stuff from the mouth.  Rarely a dream that being able to walk around, not being to read properly any text, all speech muddled and word salad, wandering a psych ward at one point.  All first person and never that of the body visible.

 

I have an inflated sense of self esteem, one that past therapy cured from a low sense of steam during obese years.  Body Dysmorphic Disorder is an unknown officially.  Between the rapid change of losing weight, bodily changes through that and that of the gender.  Personal looks has changed many times since teens.

 

Depersonalization and dissociation, maybe, I know that my thoughts are not to be accepted, there's groups of thought that directly come from my three voices. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle