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I want to experience sex but then again I don't!?


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So I've known that I'm ace for a while now, I have the whole lack of attraction to anyone sexually. But for some reason I think sex is fascinating and I want to experience it but I'm not sure if that means I'm actually not Ace? 

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NickyTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

Plenty of Asexuals have been curious about Sex.
That doesn't mean you aren't Asexual.

 

Incidentally, it's a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

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ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø

@Brittle Hi! Welcome to heAVEN! Have 🍰!

 

There are three main categories of asexuals. Sex-repulsed, sex-neutral and sex-positive. You might fall under the sex-positive category. Personally, I fall under the sex-repulsed category. 

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That doesn't necessarily mean you're not asexual. It's possible for asexuals to be curious about sex. 

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If I hadn't experienced sex and sexual relationships, I would feel like I have missed out on something enjoyable.  Asexuality wasn't even a thing when I was young and curious.

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I don't think merely satisfying a curiosity really counts as being sexual.  Once you've done that though and you find out that you've enjoyed it and want to keep pursuing it... then I'd call that person sexual.

 

Note also that you can find something enjoyable, yet not really be fussed about pursuing it, as well.  As far as I'm concerned, this also still falls under being ace.  The drive to pursue sexual activity with others (for our own sexual gratification, not counting any other reasons such as producing a child or satisfying a partner) is the primary thing that separates us from sexual people.  Disliking sex is not some sort of requirement for being ace.

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I've had sexual contact in the past, curiosity played one role for me.

Still, I don't want to continue having sex and don't have a desire for it (I consider myself sex-neutral).
One reason I think I'm ace is because the thought of never having sex again doesn't bother me in the slightest, I'm actually relieved.

Philip explained it really well, so yeah it doesn't make you less ace. Only do what you feel comfortable with and everything should be alright.

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It might be just curiosity. But as Philip said, if you want to keep pursuing sex even after experiencing it, it makes you asexual. 

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So I found out that my girlfriend is down to Fuck if I am.....and I honestly might take her up on that offer

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On 10/9/2018 at 11:44 AM, The Angel of Eternity said:

@Brittle Hi! Welcome to heAVEN! Have 🍰!

 

There are three main categories of asexuals. Sex-repulsed, sex-neutral and sex-positive. You might fall under the sex-positive category. Personally, I fall under the sex-repulsed category. 

I would say that I have a sex positive attitude, but I am avoidant of sexual behavior in a relationship. I prefer nonsexual forms of intimacy. One of our older members Bard of AVEN used to write that he did not want to interact genitally with anyone. This is a good description of an asexual state of mind. 

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That said, if you want to go into a sexual relationship, that indicates you have entered a questioning phase of your life. If you have this asexual orientation, it will assert itself no matter how often or rarely you have sexual contact. 

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