Felice

Socially sexual?

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Felice

Cw: masturbation, sex, sexual assault mention

 

Soo, I am a very sexual person, my partner too but mostly for himself.

 

I wasn't aware of it before, but since we live together I discovered that I hate being in the same room as him while he masturbates. I get sick and feel disgusting and like I am physically (not emotionally) aroused against my will. And since we live together, I started to dislike masturbating on my own more and more. It feels lonely and not that satisfying.

At first I thought it might come from a supressed memory of sexual assault or something like that. But now I wonder if it might be because I am 'socially sexual' or something like that?  Is there a word for this?

Maybe thats why it feels like my boundaries are broken when I am not involved in the sexual activity?

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Starlit Sky

I don't know if there's a word for it, but honestly, I feel like it's just not your thing.

 

Have you already talked to him about your feelings on this? There are plenty of ways the two of you can go forward with this and turn this into something of a positive :)

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Sally

Do you have to be in the same room with him?  It seems it would be easy to not be.  

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Felice
10 hours ago, Starlit Sky said:

I don't know if there's a word for it, but honestly, I feel like it's just not your thing.

 

Have you already talked to him about your feelings on this? There are plenty of ways the two of you can go forward with this and turn this into something of a positive :)

Yeah I already talked about it with him and we agreed that he stops doing it in the same room as me.

But none of us sees something positive in this situation 😅

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Felice
7 hours ago, Sally said:

Do you have to be in the same room with him?  It seems it would be easy to not be.  

No I don't. We agreed that one of us leaves the room, but I can still hear him. 😕

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Starlit Sky

So out of curiosity, how would you feel if he started masturbating as a beginning, and you joined in? Do you think that would bother you?

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Felice
6 hours ago, Starlit Sky said:

So out of curiosity, how would you feel if he started masturbating as a beginning, and you joined in? Do you think that would bother you?

Tried that. Not my thing because he watches porn when he masturbates and I dislike masturbating together and not concentrating on each other. It feels so distant and alone.

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Snaodolph

I don't think there's anything particularly unique or worthy of categorizing about this, really. I'm sure a lot of people of all sexualities have this kind of issue, as I've seen variations of it in advice forums and columns.

 

I wish you luck in sorting this out. It seems like you rationally want to be able to let him do his thing, but your physiological reactions are still beyond your control. Hopefully you can find the right arrangement to keep it out of your earshot so it doesn't bother you anymore.

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