katinthehat Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 If you couldn't guess from the title, this post may come out ranty. So I have lived in my city for about 3 years now, and have lived with my parents all 3 years due to having some health issues. It's was nice saving money for the first year, but I need to have my own space. My mom has no sense of personal space and barges into my room whenever she feels like it, and my dad just has no manners and decides to use the shredder at 3 AM or turn on the treadmill at 5 AM, and I can hear both of these objects from the thin walls of my room. My parents have constantly pressured me throughout my life to get a STEM degree, get a job, go back to school again, and/or get married to a rich man. This is a very sharp turn from my parents encouraging me to get into art at a young age. I'm 28 now, and I feel like a complete failure in life because I haven't satisfied any of their requirements. I feel stuck working full-time from job to job that refuses to pay me a good wage despite having a degree, not being able to afford a place of my own, and having family members that just suck the soul out of you. Even though my physical health has improved since moving back home, my mental health has declined so much, and I feel like this has a lot to do with not being "adult" enough and having my life together. I recently got approved for a mortgage loan, but I know it's all in vain because I probably won't find a house within my budget here, and any apartment that is somewhat affordable here is either in a bad part of town, or gets leased immediately. I have no idea what I would go back to school for, or where else I would live. I just feel stuck. Being an adult sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
CajunAce Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 I'm sorry you feel that way. I wish I could encourage you somehow, but I'm in a similar situation. Also, I have a great T-shirt that says: I can't adult today. 😆 Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 Sorry you're going through that :c but something that stuck out to me is how do you get a mortgage loan without a job or money? what a miracle. I remember back when I worked full time they still wouldn't even consider me for a mortgage despite having excellent credit and I had a partner who was working too at the time, on paper at least Y_Y lame. If I was you I'd be looking to see if I could find somewhere to live!! I know there's been times when I've thought I'd never afford a place in a good area then managed to get one within my budget in the fanciest part of town, it just took like a month of constant daily hunting (I wouldn't have found it otherwise), so it's always possible and one can't know for sure unless one looks. I hope things look up for you soon Link to post Share on other sites
katinthehat Posted October 8, 2018 Author Share Posted October 8, 2018 4 hours ago, FictoVore. said: Sorry you're going through that :c but something that stuck out to me is how do you get a mortgage loan without a job or money? what a miracle. I remember back when I worked full time they still wouldn't even consider me for a mortgage despite having excellent credit and I had a partner who was working too at the time, on paper at least Y_Y lame. If I was you I'd be looking to see if I could find somewhere to live!! I know there's been times when I've thought I'd never afford a place in a good area then managed to get one within my budget in the fanciest part of town, it just took like a month of constant daily hunting (I wouldn't have found it otherwise), so it's always possible and one can't know for sure unless one looks. I hope things look up for you soon I have a loan because I work and have saved money. I worked in the medical field as a technician which is proving non sustainable. Or maybe higher ups don't want to increase wages to account for cost of living, idk. Link to post Share on other sites
MoonDancer Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. I had a rough time getting started in life, too. If you live in a large city, look around to see if there are roommate matching services. It may not be your dream situation, but it could help you get out of the house. I have also found that Short term training programs are a good way to get ahead (I got a bachelor's degree first, associate degree second, and did a 12 week training "boot camp" last spring). You don't have to do the same thing forever, just find something that interests you now. One other thing to consider is don't sell your experience short. Neither one of my degrees are in my current field of work, but I could pull enough pieces from them to qualify for the job I have. Good luck, dream big, and don't listen to your parents if that's not what you want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 My way of getting away from my restrictive father and the toxic city we lived in was joining the military, but I know that that life isn't for everyone, especially if you have physical or mental health issues. I'm 35 and I'm going to online classes now. If you do want to go to school, even if you don't have a particular aim right now, the first couple years is mostly getting general requirements done anyway and you could choose a major later down the road. I would definitely say that getting away from your parents is the route you should be looking toward, wherever that may take you. Link to post Share on other sites
IvonRac Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 This is of course a very sad situation, I do not even know what advice to give you. You have friends who support you? Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Locking this thread as its two years old, Skycaptain moderator Older Asexuals Link to post Share on other sites
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