Hobbitza

Hi, I'm confused

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Hobbitza

Hi there! I recently came across the terms Demisexual and Graysexual, and instantly felt very confused. I've always liked guys, but I've never really wanted to be in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone I've met. Like, in middle school everyone would name their crushes and the other kids used to think I was really shy because I never said anything, but I honestly just never was attracted to anyone. This kind of thing happens even more now that I'm in college, and I just feel out of place. What does this mean?? I've been in few relationships, and I do like the idea of being in a relationship, but I almost never seem to be attracted to anyone? When I am, it's only for a short time. Sometimes I find someone really attractive, but actually thinking about having sex with anyone I know is just gross. Someone once told me an actor was hot, and asked if I thought so too, and I just said "uhh... I guess his jaw is really symmetrical, which is aesthetically pleasing according to our society". Apparently that was not the right answer. I feel really weird whenever people mention sex or relationships and am super confused if I might be graysexual or demisexual or something, or if just "haven't met the right person yet." Any advice? Anyone have similar experiences?

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Celyn

Hi Confused, I'm Dad.

 

Long story short, could be ace, could be demi. You won't know until/unless you eventually get into a relationship and experience sexual attraction - I'm demi and it took about 9 months for me to feel sexual attraction - and then it was "What is this? I've never felt like this before!"

But until then my experience was similar to yours - I liked the idea of a relationship, but never felt more than platonic or aesthetic attraction to anyone.

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Cheshire-Cat

You could well be gray/demi but don't feel like you have to make yourself fit a box. I identify as gray/demi, and I've had relationships in the past where I've felt close to some but more like a strong friendship close than a romantic close. However, I identify the way I do as I kind if hope I can find that romantic attraction. As for the sex side of things it could be that your more sex repulsed, however, there's plenty of people out there who would say sex is gross if they sat and thought about it but do actually enjoy the act of sex, just with the right person.

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Hobbitza

@Celyn Haha! Thanks for the dad joke and the helpful information, it's great to know others have similar experiences.

 

@Cheshire-Cat Thank you! I guess I have been worried about 'fitting into a box' and didn't realize until now. I will look more into being sex repulsed, your insight is super interesting.

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