Hypergamy - good or bad?

[Lord Jade Cross]

 

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[Lord Jade Cross]

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[element83]

8 hours ago, Chloe88 said:

I saw a BBC documentary about Sugar relationships and the student got paid in Coke worth £80, so I would not think that was generous, then it showed her going to stay over at his and she did not know what or how much she'd get. This Sugar daddy didn't sound sugary to me, it was more of a escort. But then not all sugar relationships are the same....

Definitely true. My first sugar daddy took me shopping and bought me nice things and paid for dinner etc when we went out... but didn't give me actual money.  My second sugar daddy gave me spending money (in cash) per date, the amount of which was agreed upon beforehand (much like a traditional escort situation, except escorts tend to set their prices and sugar babies don't... usually the sugar daddy makes an offer).  In between, a prospective sugar daddy had offered a monthly allowance situation (this is the most traditional form of sugar relationship).

 

There's a lot of grey area, too.  My current boyfriend makes 10 times what I make, and pays about 3/4 of the mortgage/utilities, and pays for stuff when we go out on dates about 90% of the time.  So a lot of people see him as my sugar daddy.  Except I do contribute, which is generally not a feature of sugar relationships (sugar daddies/mommies are generally expected to cover 100% of date costs etc).  And stay-at-home parents aren't usually considered sugar babies even though their significant other pays 100% of their bills and buys them nice things.

[Guest]

One of the most common groups of sugar babies are college students. They do it to get extra money for tuition and the like. Some hate it. Some love it. Probably 50% of the girls I met in college were selling themselves in some way to pay for it - phone sex, stripping, sugar arrangements. The sugar sites have them in their own group on some so the men can search for them specifically.  

 

Though, not all people seeking a partner with money do sugar arrangements. Some want the real relationship, just with someone well off so they have the lifestyle they want. 

 

And element, I wouldnt call a stay at home parent a sugar arrangement cause thats a full time job on its own. Kids are so much work... a sugar arrangement would be more hire a nanny and be around the kid just when you want to !

[Epitaph]

I think it's a convoluted ballpark. I have a feeling that people's definition of success in this aspect is actually "this guy makes a few bucks more than the loser working in construction." And if it is that, then of course, we tap into the gold digger stereotype. Hence why going after somebody who's wealthy is so polarized. A lot of people want wealth, but probably aren't willing to spend their lives with somebody that they just sort of exist with. The more I think about it, the more fucked it is.

 

So, in that sense, in my eyes I can say that it's either good or bad. But it depends on why it happens to begin with. If you're marrying somebody just because they're rich, or they're a "higher" class than you, then it's bullshit. If there actually is an element of real love in there, then the person being rich or better off just happens to be a bonus.

 

On examination, all of this still leans towards the traditional norm of what's expected for guys. They're the powerhouse breadwinners. They've got to have all their shit together x2 like a huge bird nest so the missus can just roll on up and take a seat next to him.

 

Like I said, it's good or bad. It all just depends on what lense you view it through. 

[Joe the Stoic]

If money didn't matter, nobody would ever get married.