OstrichClaw

Do You Ever Considering Dating?

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Estrella Starr

I would love to be in a relationship and be in one with someone who understands/accept me for who I am. Problem is finding someone who will do that, doesn't seem to be too many asexual men around here out in the open and the allosexual men I have dated were not willing to look back my sexuality as being a problem for them.  

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Dreamsexual

No, I don't want to date.  I've been there before, even the thought now irritates me.  

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mashandgravy

I identify as aromantic and have never felt romantic attraction to anyone but I have had a strange desire for romance for a while now and am seriously considering dating when I get the chance (I won't be able to for the next few months). Perhaps part of it is just pining for emotional intimacy as I know my platonic relationships need serious work but I am also very interested in the trappings of romance such as dates, kissing and hand holding and would like to give them a try.

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Kersenne

I've dated before but never seriously, never in a commited way, because I was always afraid of the consequences, aka sex. Though I enjoy some form of physical intimacy, I've always been afraid that my partners would reject me if I told them I was asexual, and so I've never truly commited to anyone.

At the moment it doesn't bother me because I am anyway not looking for anything concrete, but I would like, some day, to have a true and loving relationship, hopefully with someone who will understand my asexualty. 

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't asexual - I don't know how much of a difference it would make, but at the moment, I have the feeling that my asexualty is getting in the way of me finding a partner... I guess I still have some work to do on myself to fully accept it :) 

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Squirrel Combat

I try to be out there all the time. I find dating to he more of a numbers game (and boy have the numbers stacked up). Now that I have canoodled a lady I find that my aceness is not a problem for me, for I have a mild fetish, which means I can date almost anybody I'm reasonably compatible with and is open to indulging in my fetish, which shouldn't be a tough sell.

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LucindaC
On 10/6/2018 at 6:13 AM, Probably Alexandra said:

I identify with your situation even though i'm a girl and have been wanting a relationship for the past few years.  I guess it doesn't matter the gender, asexuality is a big stumbling block for others for some reason. I feel like as soon as someone learns I'm not interested in them for sex, they don't want to continue to build a friendship/relationship. I've never been aromantic and I've always wanted someone to share my life with and care about, but it's always been confusing to me why as soon as sex is off the table, not a single person seems to want to get to know me. I'm really sorry you feel like your asexuality is getting in the way too. I hope you find someone you connect with who accepts you for you soon.

I could have written that myself. Except probably not as eloquently. It's the "knowledge" that I will be rejected is depressing. It truly hurts that nobody wants my kind of love.

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Dreamsexual
2 hours ago, LucindaC said:

It truly hurts that nobody wants my kind of love.

I totally sympathise :(. There are only three things I can say in response: a) there are at least some people out there who want an asexual relationship; b) it is possible to overcome the pain, feel ok about yourself, and not feel the loneliness or need for others - you're ok on your own; and c) whatever you do, don't end up in an inappropriate relationship, or let this pain drive you into depression or angry bitterness.  Life can still be good! :)

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LucindaC

a) I've almost completely given up hope as I have 5 years left maximum to start a family.

b) I've spent the last 2 years working on that, and it's been fairly successful. However, it's hard to deal with the knowledge that who I am as a person doesn't matter because life is apparently only about getting yr leg over.

c) never in a million years. My upbringing was abusive, not a snowballs chance in hell that I'll go through that again. 

 

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Dreamsexual
2 hours ago, LucindaC said:

a) I've almost completely given up hope as I have 5 years left maximum to start a family.

b) I've spent the last 2 years working on that, and it's been fairly successful. However, it's hard to deal with the knowledge that who I am as a person doesn't matter because life is apparently only about getting yr leg over.

c) never in a million years. My upbringing was abusive, not a snowballs chance in hell that I'll go through that again. 

 

Sorry to hear this.  I sympathise.

 

a) Yes, other asexuals are rare.  If where you are looking hasn't paid off, I guess you need to look in other places.  If it's really important to you, maybe moving jobs, moving locations, making new friends, starting new courses, trying various online avenues, developing new hobbies is worth it.  Nothing is guaranteed, but I guess you have little alternative if this is something you really want.

b) I'm glad you've been fairly successful - I find it a constant hard struggle but it's getting better for me.  But I don't know what you mean when you say, 'who I am a person doesn't matter ...'.  Matter to whom?  Who thinks life is only about casual sex?  Do you agree with those peopl?  Do you think they're right?  All that matter is that you matter to you! :)

c) I'm sorry about your past, but really glad you've been strong enough to survive and thrive on the other side! :)

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Vincent Van Schmo

I think about it and quickly conclude that any attempt to date would end punishingly for me.

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LucindaC

@Dreamsexual hey, if I'm going down, I'm gonna go down fighting! 😁

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Chihiro

I don't think I can date. Best way to form relationships for me, is by forming friendships first. There is 90% chance that I would love to be in relationship with a friend, compared to like  5% chance of going from dating to relationship. I am bi/panromantic and yet its not easy to find another asexual around me. I have given up on finding anyone local a long time ago. I have a better chance of finding someone long distance!

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StomachGod

I'm not sure about "dating" per say but I think I would like to have a relationship of some kind one day... Though I am not 100% sure if that would be a romantic relationship or a QPR... I guess I will find out when I get there... If I get there...
...
This was a tad more depressing than I thought lolol
Oh well, at least I have donuts....
donuts.jpg

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LucindaC

Doughnuts make everything better 😁

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LucindaC

I bought a bag of donuts today. I blame you all.

😂

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Tasha the demi squirrel
10 minutes ago, LucindaC said:

I bought a bag of donuts today. I blame you all.

😂

If you've chosen to blame everyone then you're welcome lol you've got to treat yourself 🙂

 

As for the question in the title....dating is complicated as I identify as Aroflux my desire to date fluctuates sometimes I have no romantic attraction or desire at all (so Aromantic) then other times I would like to be in a relationship but usually have to know someone a bit before feeling romantically attracted to them (so Demiromantic) but knowing I'll have to explain that being Demisexual means I don't have the attraction or desire to have sex without a close emotional bond and even then it's not garunteed that I'll want to have sex often if at all is daunting so it might be easier to stay single I don't know 🤷‍♀️

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