OstrichClaw Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I have to admit I have been looking for a partner for a while now, I get lonely quite often. It would be nice to share my life with someone, but I feel like my asexuality is getting in the way of that, I have talked to women and things have gotten serious in the past, once women learn about my sexuality they bolt and it affects my self esteem like a lot, my confidence is shot and I can be quite a flirt but recently I just can't get the hang of it, even compliments don't even affect me anymore, when someone called me beautiful I used to blush and so on and now I just shrug my shoulders and get on with life. there's this woman at work who will give me kisses on the cheek and I am like why? It doesn't even bother me. maybe I am just too numb to deal with people in this way and it's affecting me more and more. I just want everything but the sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Yeast Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Rather the same situation here. I like female companionship but I'm not interested in sex. I'm not even romantic. I'm not sure I know what romance is. I don't get hurt if women abandon me though. I tell myself we were not compatible to begin with. We're both better off. However I refuse to sit around all day all alone and grow old. I've given up on heterosexual women. How about homosexual ones? The LGBT community has accepted me and I've made some wonderful lesbian friends. I even have asexual friends. Not many but a few are better than none. I've gotten to know one of them well and recently met another. They're all women. I have yet to meet an asexual man. No matter. I'm more comfortable with the opposite sex - without sex. I hope you find someone compatible. Keep trying and you will. At least that's been my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
OstrichClaw Posted October 6, 2018 Author Share Posted October 6, 2018 she doesn't have to be straight, because I don't think it's fair really in all honesty. I ain't giving up Link to post Share on other sites
SeeCeCerun Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 It's difficult to find anyone in my small town who is in the LGBTQA+ community. I'm the type of person who won't settle for just anyone. Trying to find other homoromantic women is proving to be quite tough. It's gotten to the point where I've invented a girl, lol. Sad, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I identify with your situation even though i'm a girl and have been wanting a relationship for the past few years. I guess it doesn't matter the gender, asexuality is a big stumbling block for others for some reason. I feel like as soon as someone learns I'm not interested in them for sex, they don't want to continue to build a friendship/relationship. I've never been aromantic and I've always wanted someone to share my life with and care about, but it's always been confusing to me why as soon as sex is off the table, not a single person seems to want to get to know me. I'm really sorry you feel like your asexuality is getting in the way too. I hope you find someone you connect with who accepts you for you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
OstrichClaw Posted October 6, 2018 Author Share Posted October 6, 2018 5 hours ago, Probably Alexandra said: I identify with your situation even though i'm a girl and have been wanting a relationship for the past few years. I guess it doesn't matter the gender, asexuality is a big stumbling block for others for some reason. I feel like as soon as someone learns I'm not interested in them for sex, they don't want to continue to build a friendship/relationship. I've never been aromantic and I've always wanted someone to share my life with and care about, but it's always been confusing to me why as soon as sex is off the table, not a single person seems to want to get to know me. I'm really sorry you feel like your asexuality is getting in the way too. I hope you find someone you connect with who accepts you for you soon. Thank you for your words, I hope the same for you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I'm afraid I can't help on the dating front, but welcome to AVEN Link to post Share on other sites
OstrichClaw Posted October 6, 2018 Author Share Posted October 6, 2018 8 hours ago, SeeCeCerun said: It's difficult to find anyone in my small town who is in the LGBTQA+ community. I'm the type of person who won't settle for just anyone. Trying to find other homoromantic women is proving to be quite tough. It's gotten to the point where I've invented a girl, lol. Sad, I know. It's not sad, I am sorry that you are experiencing much difficulty. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I'm pretty sure I already welcomed you, are you sure you posted this in the right forum? Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Moved from Welcome Lounge to Asexual Relationships Homer Moderator Welcome Lounge Link to post Share on other sites
OstrichClaw Posted October 6, 2018 Author Share Posted October 6, 2018 8 hours ago, Probably Alexandra said: I identify with your situation even though i'm a girl and have been wanting a relationship for the past few years. I guess it doesn't matter the gender, asexuality is a big stumbling block for others for some reason. I feel like as soon as someone learns I'm not interested in them for sex, they don't want to continue to build a friendship/relationship. I've never been aromantic and I've always wanted someone to share my life with and care about, but it's always been confusing to me why as soon as sex is off the table, not a single person seems to want to get to know me. I'm really sorry you feel like your asexuality is getting in the way too. I hope you find someone you connect with who accepts you for you soon. sex just plays a big part in everything right now, I don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bye, it helped a lot. Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 .. Link to post Share on other sites
Karoushi Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Dating is still an anomaly to me, like how people get together and whatnot. Tbh I wouldn't mind trying it, but it's just explaining to the other person that I'm ace. Also dancing around the whole homophobic air of my family if I do end up dating a woman ahhh. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf27 Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been trying to find someone who would have a relationship without sex but it hasn’t gone well. I’ve even tried online dating but no guy I have spoken to can get past the no sex thing. Link to post Share on other sites
ponz Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 My asexuality doesn't seem to scare off suitors for me, but I'm also willing to compromise. 😅 I seem to be "demi-not-sex-repulsed"... or something. XD (meaning my sex repulsion goes away when I have a strong emotional bond with someone, which then allows me to compromise). Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 I don't want/seek a romantic relationship. Can't see any benefit *shrug* However I would love to adopt a dog, but my work hours aren't compatible with that. Given the choice between having a dog or having a human partner, I'll choose the dog. Link to post Share on other sites
IceKing Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 6 hours ago, Homer said: However I would love to adopt a dog, but my work hours aren't compatible with that. Given the choice between having a dog or having a human partner, I'll choose the dog. I'm on the same page. I dream of adopting a dog (and maybe some rodents) - they are my favorite pets. Hope you are able to adopt one one day, he or she surely would have a good home. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyzer373 Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 On 10/6/2018 at 9:11 PM, Wolf27 said: I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been trying to find someone who would have a relationship without sex but it hasn’t gone well. I’ve even tried online dating but no guy I have spoken to can get past the no sex thing. I have the same issue but with women 🙈 Link to post Share on other sites
GoneForGood Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I am romantic and so I have considered it most of my life. It has led to a lot of messed up relationships but now I am engaged to another asexual person. People are out there, it actually even happened when I was not looking for anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
andreas1033 Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 No, would be my answer. When i was young, a female may tap into your loneliness, but i was glad, me being lonely back then, was not enough of a driver for me to even give it a go. Thankfully being lonely, turns into something cold later in life. Like i said before, i beleive when your male and asexual, you eventually become what in effect a eunuch. So for me for along time, i have never felt loneliness, so my answer to this thread is no. When i was young, loneliness was a factor, but it was never enough of a factor in me, to make me want to even date, let alone go further. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I tell myself I want a relationship but I know its pointless so I just make endless fantasies. If you say you don't want sex then you go immediately to the friend pile and the relationship becomes a series of polite yet meaningless gestures and stiff hellos and cheap smiles. I would rather be alone than patronized. Link to post Share on other sites
Strifed Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 No, I just like having really close friendships. I can't feel romantic (and of course sexual) feelings towards anyone, and I can only see guys as "men I play video games with and tell jokes/banter with!" And then my female friends are whatever activities we are interested in or talk about I'm sorry to hear people don't want to be with you anymore when they learn you're asexual I hope one day in the future you meet someone who is understanding about that side of you! I understand that others may have sexual needs, but just because you don't like or want sex doesn't mean you're a bad person or you won't find anyone. It might be a bit harder or take you a bit longer to find that person, but I hope you do! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I'd like to find a perfect romantic match someday but I'm not obsessed or desperately looking for a relationship atm. Link to post Share on other sites
blueyoshi Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Yes I would like to date, but I'm only open to dating other asexuals and I've never met another ace who was romantically interested in me (or anyone who was romantically interested in me for that matter 😛). I hope you're able to find someone one day, you deserve it! I really don't understand how everything is so sex-centered, it sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
GoneForGood Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 1 minute ago, blueyoshi said: Yes I would like to date, but I'm only open to dating other asexuals and I've never met another ace who was romantically interested in me (or anyone who was romantically interested in me for that matter). I hope you're able to find someone one day, you deserve it! I really don't understand how everything is so sex-centered, it sucks. There is hope, someone found me (I don't pursue which means things take much longer and usually the wrong person pursues me) Link to post Share on other sites
nanogretchen4 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 OstrichClaw, where do you live? If you can just find the local asexual women or help them to find you, you should have no trouble finding a compatible partner. It seems like women like you a lot right up until they find out you have an incompatible orientation, so you are probably quite presentable. I'm pretty sure you are some lucky asexual woman's knight in shining armor. Link to post Share on other sites
lilgroundhog Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 I wouldn't mind finding a QPR, but i don't think I have a concept of what "romance" is. Yeah, life is tough when the world tried to make you feel wrong for not wanting sex, being a parent, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
gisiebob Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 I kinda feel like, to me at least, making effort towards dating is like scooping out a pumkin. I am sure someone will want to carve it into a jackolantern. or at least I thought I was. I think I've got it pretty cleaned out, right? but then there's no one to ask even that. so I guess I'll keep scooping away at these walls. I am a little worried about if I will run out of pumpkin. I wasn't lonely before I started thinking this could be an interesting thing to try. Link to post Share on other sites
Estrella Starr Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 I would love to be in a relationship and be in one with someone who understands/accept me for who I am. Problem is finding someone who will do that, doesn't seem to be too many asexual men around here out in the open and the allosexual men I have dated were not willing to look back my sexuality as being a problem for them. Link to post Share on other sites
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