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mreid

Some questions for sexuals on they feel about sex

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ryn2
8 minutes ago, FictoVore. said:

And I know most people (including mreid) probably won't even read it so it's going to be a lot of effort for very little reward

I literally never am on AVEN on my computer so it’s 100% not worth the work for me.

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
3 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

I literally never am on AVEN on my computer so it’s 100% not worth the work for me.

It's not worth the work for me either but I'm an addict. It's like knowing drinking will just fuck me up but I do it anyway because I can't help it. As someone who has experienced total alcohol dependence in the past, AVEN really does feel the same some days. It can be just as easy to become totally trapped even though you know it's 100% not worth it. *sigh*

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Alejandrogynous

@FictoVore. It might not be worth it in this thread, but I really do appreciate how much time and effort you and other sexual people here put into your responses on AVEN. Your perspectives are invaluable to the community and I'm selfishly glad you stick around even though it might not be entirely by your own will. :P

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anisotrophic
18 hours ago, chandrakirti said:

Sex? Doesn't always (or even half the time) seem to make people happier or give them the best life they could have.It's just a thing, like sneezing. At the mercy of the selfish gene, etc, etc...

 

4 hours ago, mreid said:

Sexuality is a purely biological thing in the sense that it's purpose is reproduction, nothing more. Whether if there is anything else I don't know, but I do know that sexuality does not belong to the "soul" or the "mind" however you define it.

 

3 hours ago, mreid said:

Sexuality is a part of biology. Body is just a term that's commonly used to define things that relate to physicality and sexuality. Sexual desire only concerns reproduction. The sexuals here have been talking mostly about sexual desire, the only purpose of which is reproduction.

 

3 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Sexuality might be solely for reproduction in some species but it isn't in many "higher" mammals, I mean just look at bonobos. They have sex pretty much everyday, in ways that cannot produce offspring, as a social bonding/dispute resolution/make-up thing. A lot of male animals hump other males as a show of dominance too.

 

2 hours ago, Baam said:

I'm pretty astounded that you seem to think lesbian and gay people are unable to feel sexual desire? We don't have sex to reproduce, and if you read my responses to the initial questions a couple of pages back, I explained that a lot of people's intentions with sex are not purely physical.

 

I'm glad to see the conversation got at this fundamental misunderstanding.

@chandrakirti, I've got a terribly good background in science. I'm rather predictably not a dualist. And I appreciate that you're seeking to learn about how the world works and evolved. And I think you stumbled into a misunderstanding here.

We are evolved - in so many wonderful ways - be creatures that speak, and come together to form families and communities and histories and identities. And evolution is always about repurposing, as it can only work with what it already has. Look at our smiles. We repurposed the grimace! How strange! And special to us, and it contributes to an infectious nature of happiness and bonding most humans will experience when smiles become shared.

Like the grimace that became a smile, the behaviors of reproduction have been repurposed. One way we can see it's deviated far from "reproduction" is due to something we recently evolved - concealed ovulation. Even bonobos - who use sexuality in non-reproductive ways - have a visible estrus!

I feel awful saying this, but if you cannot feel desire, it's not that you aren't sneezing. It's like you don't have the ability to see a smile.

It doesn't make you any less human, merely blind in a particular dimension. Perhaps you experience other dimensions more strongly, as a result! But sexual desire is something that has evolved to be one of our most human qualities, rather than one which is mere "biology" or "reproduction".

And for all the evpsych attempts to impose a tediously gendered explanation for sexuality, it's important to recognize that our species is not static. As we control reproduction, "sexual desire" has become further unlinked! And so, if anything, it seems our evolution of sexual desire is unlikely to disappear, but rather to continue to move even further away from its associations with "reproduction".

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ben8884

Locking thread while we clean it up

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iff

It has been decided upon review  that this thread will remain locked.

 

iff,

moderator, sexual partners, friends & allies

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