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Some questions for sexuals on they feel about sex


mreid

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Anthracite_Impreza

Not to mention neural pathways that have been shaped over someone's lifetime, they have to be taken into account too. And someone's current and past surroundings, mood, hunger levels... You'd literally have to do a full scan and bloodwork, look at histories, conduct psychiatric reports etc. for millions of people over years to get even the tiniest logical reasoning behind it all. Ain't nobody got time for that.

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4 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Not to mention neural pathways that have been shaped over someone's lifetime, they have to be taken into account too. And someone's current and past surroundings, mood, hunger levels... You'd literally have to do a full scan and bloodwork, look at histories, conduct psychiatric reports etc. for millions of people over years to get even the tiniest logical reasoning behind it all. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Honestly, this in itself is logical reasoning, IMO. It answers the 'why' sufficiently and with actual science.

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 hour ago, CBC said:

Honestly, this in itself is logical reasoning, IMO. It answers the 'why' sufficiently and with actual science.

Some people like reams and reams of data *shrugs* Sadly in this case they aren't gonna get the definitive answers they crave.

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anisotrophic
On 9/30/2018 at 4:22 PM, mreid said:

12) If sex is essential to you in a relationship, then why stay in a sexless relationship? Since many sexuals seem to equate being sexually desired with being loved and their partners don't seem to desire them sexually, then a sexual person will probably perceive that as lack of love from the other person. Do they stay because they think there's a possibility of making the other person desire them, thus essentially changing their sexual identity? If so, does that mean they don't take asexuality as a genuine orientation seriously, as geniune orientations are not supposed to be able to be changed like that? Or if they do but the idea is to come to some sort of agreement, then doesn't that mean sexuals and asexuals are incompatible, as the sexual desire is always going to be one sided? In which case, what's the point of continuing in such a relationship anyway?

 

13) If a sexual and an asexual come to an agreement where the asexual gives the sexual partner sex to keep them happy but there's no sexual desire then, following the logic of the previous question, what is even the point of such an agreement, since what sexuals want is to be desired? Is it the satisfaction of knowing your asexual partner is willing do to that sacrifice for you, despite not loving you (the way sexuals perceive love as involving sexual desire)?

What starts as a survey seems to end with what appears to be an attempt at Socratic method.

I don't know why people stay the gender they were born when they could up and change their gender at any point. Maybe I should make a big questionnaire for cis people. People, why are you cis?? it makes noooo sense to meeeee

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Anthracite_Impreza
2 minutes ago, anisotropic said:

People, why are you cis??

They like to be difficult.

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15 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

They like to be difficult.

Honestly this is a good portion of the reason for much of why I am the way I am. :ph34r:

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2 hours ago, Serran said:

If the OP wants a perfectly logical answer why sex is important to sexuals, 

There's no one answer though because it's so different for everyone.. that's why it always seems like sexuals are talking out their arse when they respond. None of the answers are the same so people think "oh they're just making it up" or whatever. It's super frustrating though when individuals go to heaps of effort to respond as clearly as possible, only to have some certain people saying respondents have gone to no effort because the answers don't adhere to what that particular member expects them to say.. or whatever.

 

We can explain until the cows come home but if some people refuse to read serious individual responses then just brush them all off with mocking comments, no one is going to get anywhere in this discussion 😕

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28 minutes ago, uhtred said:

Most things that people enjoy or are important to them are difficult to describe rationally.  Why do certain combinations of musical notes sound good. Why are some stories enjoyable to read.  Why do some combinations of food taste good.   Why is it pleasant to stand on the beach and watch the waves crash, or by a stream in a deep forest and watch the water flow, or on a high windswept mountain top?   Not all people like all these things- and most could not describe why they are so wonderful. 

It’s also so subjective.  Questions like “which is better, coffee or tea?  Miller Lite or craft beer?  Knitting or crocheting?” often don’t have objective answers.  One alternative may be healthier, or more popular, or more socially acceptable, but none of that really gets at why people individually like things less or more.

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2 hours ago, anisotropic said:

I don't know why people stay the gender they were born when they could up and change their gender at any point. Maybe I should make a big questionnaire for cis people. People, why are you cis?? it makes noooo sense to meeeee

People can't just "change" their gender, much like how they can't change their orientation.  The way you identify/express might change, but the gender itself does not.

 

Personally, never saw much point in fussing about gender.  People ultimately only give a shit about what body type and equipment you have anyway

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anisotrophic
1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

People can't just "change" their gender, much like how they can't change their orientation.  The way you identify/express might change, but the gender itself does not.

 

Personally, never saw much point in fussing about gender.  People ultimately only give a shit about what body type and equipment you have anyway

Yes, I was making a silly parallel ^_^

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4 hours ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

Well, I guess the sexuals have proved that there is no point asking them any of these types of questions because they're in deep denial.

I gave a very long and detailed answer. If you'd read it you might actually learn something.

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4 hours ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

Well, I guess the sexuals have proved that there is no point asking them any of these types of questions because they're in deep denial.

 

4 hours ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

Of anything that might make them feel insecure about themselves.

That's a rather sweeping statement and people can be insecure about any number of any things. 

 

As for insecurity around their sexuality, care to narrow it down? I'm certainly not insecure about mine or the fact that different types exist, but people don't appreciate it when there are baseless claims or implications that one is less valid than the rest or that because things cannot be so easily explained that it is illogical and not worthy.

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Alejandrogynous
1 hour ago, ryn2 said:

I’m guessing the above is what moon spirit was referring to in the below:

I'm still just amused that the first quote was so bad I thought it was sarcasm, and not particularly dry sarcasm at that. :lol:

 

Yeah, 99% of the human population experiences something you don't understand, so they must really just be in denial about their obsession and immorality. Sounds legit. (For clarification, that was sarcasm.) 

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36 minutes ago, mreid said:

But doesn't that mean you perceive your body as being part of your overall self? 

Do you see your mind as something that exists separately from your body, as opposed to the product (or byproduct) of a series of electrical and biochemical processes?

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8 minutes ago, mreid said:

Why is being beaten by your boyfriend a form of love to you? Not judging, just trying to understand. I have read about women who think that their partner's aggressiveness shows how much they want them, if you feel that's the case then why do you feel that way? Wanting to damage someone's body to me is a pathological fixation, not affection.

In my (admittedly anecdotal) experience trying to explain BDSM to someone who isn’t similarly kinky is at least as hard, if not harder, than trying to talk through differences in sexual orientation,

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4 minutes ago, mreid said:

I like to think so but even if it is just a byproduct of electrical and biochemical processes those processes are still not the same as those that make someone physically attractive, at least for the most part. You can judge a person by their looks but you won't be getting a good view of their minds, even more so if you judge their bodies sexually.

I was asking more in the context of dualism/monism/humanism, based on your question about the body factoring into a sense of self...

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(“I’m not just my body” and “I’m not my body” are distinctly different)

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24 minutes ago, mreid said:

...Atheists have their own "Gods" too...

:huh: I don't understand what you mean by this. I was brought up atheist, don't and never had a "God" of my own. I don't think of anything as my "God." Are you, perhaps, thinking of agnosticism?

 

People don't appreciate being labeled, grouped, and having false or incorrect claims made about them without their knowledge or permission, as then, others might falsely or incorrectly believe those statements made by another person about them.

 

From a psychologist:

https://blogs.webmd.com/mental-health/2018/07/why-its-a-bad-idea-to-play-armchair-psychologist.html

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6 minutes ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

Your feelings are all valid. :lol:

 

Does that phrase sound illogical to anyone else? Emotions aren't logical.

The usual usage of that phrase where I live is along the lines of “feelings/emotions are neither good nor bad; they just are,” meaning no feeling or emotion is better or worse than another, okay or not okay to have, etc.  So, “your feelings are valid” is saying “it’s okay to feel [however you feel].”

 

It has nothing to do with emotions being logical or illogical...

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2 hours ago, mreid said:

SNIP

1) Doesn't mean we can't understand it, nor that we don't experience it in different ways and/or under different circumstances, 2) your analogy does imply a disability. A more correct analogy would trying to explain a genre of music or an art style that is meaningful to you to someone who like a completely different genre of music and art style, or someone who doesn't like music or art at all. It doesn't mean the person can't understand that genre or style, nor that they can't appreciate the technique nor that they can't interpret it the way the artist intended, nor that they can't understand the artist's thought process. It only means it's not very meaningful to them.

 

 

SNIP

 

We crave different foods because of the nutrients in them, or if not the nutrients then the addictive components in them.

When I went off gluten I got cravings and I learnt that the difference between real hunger and a craving is that when you are hungry your stomach makes noise and you should eat, and when you have a craving you will feel compelled to eat non-essential things and you shouldn't eat. In my case, I had a craving for carbs even though I was feeding myself well, and also for sugary stuff. This was my brain going through the withdrawal symptoms, because gluten can have an opioid effect on the brain. Emotions can also cause cravings for sugary things. None of this is essential or healthy, it's just your brain craving a drug for one reason or another.

 

SNIP

 

Different sorts of music isn't right - that would be like explaining same-sex sexuality to a hetero  person - which is pretty straightforward.  Or maybe explaining kinky sex to someone who is vanilla.    In many cases asexuals do not feel sexual desire - at all.  So they really don't have anything to compare with.  Let me try a different example, since I do want to avoid implying disability.   How do you explain the love of engaging in extreme sports to someone who likes a quiet life.  How do you explain why it is so enjoyable to jump off  cliff in a bat-suit, or ride a kayak on a raging dangerous river.  Or weeks of physical misery climbing high mountains. These activities are dangerous, uncomfortable an can cause serious injuries, yet to some people they are worth the risk.   To people who enjoy these activities, the joy is obvious.   You can of course put it down to chemicals and hormones  - but that of course also applies to sex.

 

People enjoy foods for reasons that have nothing to do with nutrition. 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, mreid said:

I don't know the exact answer to that, but regardless when someone appreciates another person for their body they are not appreciating them for their mind, however you define mind/soul. I think what I mean is clear.

It’s not necessarily either/or.

 

7 minutes ago, mreid said:

The "God" of atheists is usually the State. Or so I read.

You might want to read up on this one a bit more broadly.

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33 minutes ago, mreid said:

...The "God" of atheists is usually the State. Or so I read.

I'm wondering where you read that, whether if it was from others' political comments on the internet.

 

Atheism is simply "a disbelief or lack of belief in the existence of God or gods."  (source: google dictionary)

 

It doesn't have anything to do with politics or a person's political beliefs, government, etc.; there isn't any correlation. Some might not even like politics at all.

 

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37 minutes ago, mreid said:

I don't believe you can see a person's "mind" through their body, as in naked body and features which they can't change in any way and were born with.

Those who consider their bodies part of their selves may want to be seen/appreciated for their minds and their bodies.

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14 minutes ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

@ryn2 So basically you would tell someone who wants to kill another person that their feelings are okay, because all feelings are okay?

 

Rotten people rely on everyone being ignorant and accepting of whatever.

Wanting to kill someone isn’t really a feeling or emotion, but let’s say someone feels “so angry they could kill someone.”

 

The point of the whole approach is that feeling that way is... nothing more than a feeling.  It’s fine to feel that way.  It’s not fine in most situations to act on it.

 

Rotten people rely on others accepting their actions... the way they behave, the things they say and do.

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35 minutes ago, mreid said:

@InquisitivePhilosopher Atheistic tend to be communists, or at least left leaning. But please let's not derail this thread.

That may be true where you live but in the US it varies heavily by party.

http://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/compare/political-ideology/by/party-affiliation/among/religious-family/atheist/

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4 minutes ago, mreid said:

But how can they see their bodies as parts of themselves if they have very little control over their bodies? They can't change their bodies on a fundamental level to match their minds. And what if the image that their bodies show is very different from their minds? How can someone love two contradictory things in the same person simultaneously?

And what kind of appreciation are you refering to? Aesthetical? Sexual? If we have so little control over our bodies it doesn't really matter, because in the end our bodies aren't really "ours". They are not something we control (except to a small degree maybe, but not fundamentally), so why would someone care to be liked for something that isn't theirs and doesn't represent them?

 

And I am not just talking about people with some disease or self-esteem issues, I am talking about everyone. Good looking people surely most resent sometimes being seen as nothing but a nice body and pretty face.

I’m not trying to convince you to switch mindsets, just to point out that not everyone is a dualist.  If one the sexual posters wants to answer your above questions, that’s fine.

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15 minutes ago, mreid said:

But how can they see their bodies as parts of themselves if they have very little control over their bodies? They can't change their bodies on a fundamental level to match their minds.

As someone who isn’t a dualist all I can really say here is that to me my body is myself.  It’s how I experience the world and it’s what - through its physiology - gives rise to the consciousness and thought processes that makes me “me.”

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The question of athiesm and belief system would make a really good topic in Philosophy, Politics and Science but let's not go further off topic in Sexual Partners, Friends & Allies

 

Please also as a general point, Remember to remain civil in your responses, and consider stepping away from a thread if it is frustrating you. 

 

iff,

moderator, sexual partners, friends & allies

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Anthracite_Impreza
3 hours ago, mreid said:

Psychoanalysis actually has the answers for that. There's always some symbolical significance behind fetishes.

Erm, cars and trains are not my fetishes, just to be clear. I love them in an appreciative/hobby kind of way, autistic special interest way and a personal, family/friend way (which is the most important to me). I was just using them as an example of something that means a lot to me that others don't "get".

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