Missing Perspective On #MeToo and sexual harassment in general

[Guest]

2 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Also, let’s not forget “screamed at.”  Even when there’s no chance it will escalate - and like several posters have said, how’s the target to know? - most people don’t like random strangers yelling “hey, did you hear me?”, “speak when you’re spoken to,” “fine, b**ch, be that way,” and the like after them as they try to peacefully go on about their business.

 

It doesn’t have to be some sort of physical assault to be unpleasant.

Yeah it's weird how they will often yell an insult at you for ignoring them, or get really aggressive demanding why you didn't respond. That's why it's so clearly not just a 'compliment', it's a tool they use to assert their perceived dominance or something and women can pick up on that, it makes you feel like shit and angry and scared all at once. No one has the right to do that shit to another person and being told (by a man, no less) that we should just be happy that they like our bodies is pretty darned messed up if you ask me. 😕

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I've had random older teenagers approach me "threatening" to kiss (and presumably go further) me; it was my dog who scared them off. I went home and cried on the floor in the kitchen. This was in daylight, in a public park, me wearing my best council estate attire and being completely oblivious to everyone but my wonderful dog.

 

Still think it's all harmless fun, guys?

[Jusey1]

4 hours ago, Anthraxite_Vampreza said:

Lol at blokes telling women (and those read as women) they should be happy to be "complimented" and not worry about being stalked, raped and/or murdered.

Because the chance of that happening is very low? And on top of that, this can happen to anyone? It's not just a woman problem... What about the men who has been stalked and murdered? Or even raped themselves as well? This is a general problem that can happen to everyone, so anyone can freely share their thoughts on how to deal with it and personally... I think it is unnecessary to be overly paranoid over something that rarely happens... And before you say anything. Yes, you can give me times when it did happen, sure... But for every time that it does happens to ANYONE, there is thousands upon thousands of times where it doesn't happen at all... We just don't record those times because positivity is not "News worthy" and it is easier to control people with fear and paranoia. It's easier to push an agenda... It's easier to do all sorts of stuff using fear and paranoia...

So, what I am offering is something more peaceful, smart minded, and just using your brain on the situation and common knowledge. Be aware that it CAN happen but don't go overly paranoid and don't let any group control you via that paranoia and try to feed you BS... If it is such a crime for me to speak my mind and offer a more peaceful solution, then so be it. Arrest me, ban me, what has you. I'm too much of a peaceful guy and self-thinker to follow a sheep herder...

I just wish it doesn't put me in a situation where I compliment someone's dress or hat and I go to jail for being nice...

 

3 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

@ryn2....Or, men could just not catcall?

Why are we arguing about catcall here? I'm talking about actual compliments here. I already agreed with you guys that catcalling is flat-out rude and shouldn't be done. Also, obviously sexual comments are flat-out rude as well and shouldn't be done in public. Those kind of people should just go fuck right off for being so rude toward someone in public.

 

I'm talking about actual compliments and general stuff like "You look amazing!", "Nice hat!", "You're beautiful in that dress!", etc... I'm talking about that. Anything from catcalling to "Your tits are nice!" or "That's a nice bulge you have there!" Can go fuck right off because it's rude (not sexual harassment though - but still extremely rude).

 

3 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

@ryn2

Not to be sexist, but you're a man, so this isn't an issue that affects you in the same way it affects females. Imagine being a 15 year old girl (who also has social anxiety, I might add) being followed down the road by a group of guys while you're trying to get home from drama practice...

Yes, I can imagine that because I've been in that situation before... I was a fucking bitch in highschool since I'm just a weak pathetic little god damn fucking nerd... I couldn't ever walk to the library safely without some asshole bullies ganging up on and beating the shit outta me. Hell, this one time when I was walking back home with my sister, I almost fucking died because some dick slammed me down, head-first, onto the fucking blacktop... And then my sister beat the living shit out of that asshole for me (he didn't fought back though because he doesn't fight women)...

So yeah... Anyone can have the same or similar problems, mate... This is not something that is localized to a specific gender.

And sorry for the swearing... I HATE remembering my highschool years. There was a reason why I attempted suicide back then and just want to forget about it now and move on with life, and it really ticks me off to no end to remember any of my time back then... So, again, sorry for the swearing and anger. That wasn't a good thing to bring up. Actually, I'm gonna stop my post here and grab a can of Coca Cola...

[ryn2]

48 minutes ago, Jusey1 said:

Anyone can have the same or similar problems, mate... This is not something that is localized to a specific gender.

So, it all has the same solution:  keep your thoughts to yourself around people you don’t know well, whether those people are men, women, nonbinary folks, etc.  If that feels too cold and you live in an area where being more friendly is normal, just smile and say hi/good morning.

[Alawyn-Aebt]

2 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

So, it all has the same solution:  keep your thoughts to yourself around people you don’t know well, whether those people are men, women, nonbinary folks, etc.  If that feels too cold and you live in an area where being more friendly is normal, just smile and say hi/good morning.

I know from experience that certain areas of the world have different socially accepted norms on friendliness. I now live close to D.C. but I used to live in northern Indiana, and the difference in accepted friendliness is immense. To me northern Indiana was overly-friendly and I much prefer the more "cold" D.C. That being said I know people who miss the friendliness of other places when they move to D.C.

 

I suspect that a difference in socially accepted friendliness might explain some of the disagreements.

[ryn2]

17 minutes ago, Aebt said:

I suspect that a difference in socially accepted friendliness might explain some of the disagreements.

Agreed, although even then the mindset of “people should be flattered to be complimented” (rather than “it’s polite to compliment people”) concerns me.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Aebt said:

I know from experience that certain areas of the world have different socially accepted norms on friendliness. I now live close to D.C. but I used to live in northern Indiana, and the difference in accepted friendliness is immense. To me northern Indiana was overly-friendly and I much prefer the more "cold" D.C. That being said I know people who miss the friendliness of other places when they move to D.C.

 

I suspect that a difference in socially accepted friendliness might explain some of the disagreements.

There's a huge difference between a genuine compliment (ie "hey, cool hair!") and a disgusting sexual comment aimed to bring someone down and make them feel small and nasty. The latter is what happens with catcalling and regardless of where you are, it's totally unacceptable. The peaceful solution is for people to keep their disgusting comments about how a woman's tits or arse look, or asking her to do sexual things, to themselves. Easy.

 

Regarding some of the other stuff you've said, yes men are raped and murdered too, no one is denying that. Women are raped and murdered too for reasons that have nothing to do with catcalling (kids are, old people are, everyone is).. We are talking specifically about the issue of catcalling though and the consequences it can and does have for women. Do you know why the issue continues? Because men like you keep saying it's fine and that women are over-reacting, that they should be happy they're being complimented. What you really should do is man up and help others understand that it's not okay to share your private sexual thoughts with a random woman on the street, because that can make her uncomfortable and scared. People who do that are putting their own desires for happiness and pleasure over the feelings of safety and security of another human being and that's just vile. If other men stood up to the scum who treat human beings like that (instead of encouraging the behaviour as you are by suggesting women be happy about it) the world would be a much better place for everyone.

 

Again, the 'peaceful solution' is for people to keep their mouths shut when it comes to making belittling comments about private parts of another human beings body, or suggesting that person do sexual things with them, or forcing a human being into a situation where they clearly feel unsafe and scared. It's that simple.

 

You are of course entitled to your own opinion (just as we are to ours) on the behaviour itself, but it's the suggestion that women should be happy about it, even welcome it, (especially after some people have explained how awful it makes them feel and how scary it can be) that is quite frankly repulsive.

 

 

[Kimmie.]

There is one simple rule: the reciver of something always has the first right of interpretation. So in other words if someone says that what you did was catcalling then it was.

[Sally]

7 hours ago, Jusey1 said:

I just wish it doesn't put me in a situation where I compliment someone's dress or hat and I go to jail for being nice...

 

How many times and in how many ways do we have to tell you that we don't WANT men we don't even know telling us they like our dress, or hat, or whatever else they see, including any part of our bodies?  JUST DON'T DO IT.  

[njosnavelin]

 

There is a way to do this and be genuine and not creepy. Some of our parents met with such a silly simple compliment. 

 

In the post below the young lady highlights in her experiences the difference. In the third paragraph highlights the genuine simple compliment. The fourth paragraph highlights the creepy.

 

 

 

 

[Alawyn-Aebt]

12 hours ago, FictoCannibal. said:

There's a huge difference between a genuine compliment (ie "hey, cool hair!") and a disgusting sexual comment aimed to bring someone down and make them feel small and nasty. The latter is what happens with catcalling and regardless of where you are, it's totally unacceptable. The peaceful solution is for people to keep their disgusting comments about how a woman's tits or arse look, or asking her to do sexual things, to themselves. Easy.

Yes, absolutely. I was referring directly to making genuine comments. Offensive sexual comments I never find allowable and I should hope that no one else finds them allowable. What I was trying to say (and looking back I should have specified this more) that the acceptability of genuine comments varies drastically. Where I live now I would never make a genuine comment about someone's looks. However I know of regions where that was culturally accepted and all genders were encouraged to make genuine compliments.

[ryn2]

3 minutes ago, Aebt said:

Yes, absolutely. I was referring directly to making genuine comments. Offensive sexual comments I never find allowable and I should hope that no one else finds them allowable. What I was trying to say (and looking back I should have specified this more) that the acceptability of genuine comments varies drastically. Where I live now I would never make a genuine comment about someone's looks. However I know of regions where that was culturally accepted and all genders were encouraged to make genuine compliments.

I think a good guideline there is “would I say the same thing to someone of a different gender* and mean it the same way/just as sincerely?”

 

*than the intended recipient of my compliment

 

If you wouldn’t comfortably say the same/equivalent thing to any gender, that’s often a good sign you’re not just being nice/blending in/etc.  It also gives you a chance to look at why saying it to other genders feels wrong, which in turn may clarify what’s not nice about it.

 

By “you,” I mean the person contemplating complimenting a stranger, not any particular poster.

[The Dryad]

@Jusey1

As someone who was stalked by a creepy guy I did not know, by someone I paid a one time kindness that misfired, I'm afraid I have experience in this... disrespectful culture towards women, whether it be catcalling or whatnot, I'm sure the creepy guy who thought he was doing me a kind gesture by coming to my extracurricular activities and honking for hours and who would follow me home and honking, again, for hours, thought he was paying me, someone I assume, he thought of as beautiful ,a compliment. To me, the insider, this was an invasion of my peace of mind, this is also a reality of women who get catcalled by strange men, often with a mob mentality.

 

If you were walking down the street and a group of people started shouting things at you, who you didn't know, no matter how 'nice', wouldn't you be scared? No matter the context?

 

I'm not living a life of paranoia because I choose it , but because someone decided to show me what rape culture is early on, what happened to me isn't a singular case or a coincidence, the perpetuation of disrespect, talking about women like we're less than a whole person, like we're bodies made of meat without minds here to please menfolk with our beauty and bodies. Not that this doesn't have negative consequences on men either- this whole culture places suspicion on both innocent and guilty men (and women in some cases).

[Joe the Stoic]

I think Ficto makes a good point that an extreme enough minority can still be very scary.  You have to prepare for the worst to survive in this world.

[The Dryad]

4 minutes ago, Vincent Van Schmo said:

I think Ficto makes a good point that an extreme enough minority can still be very scary.  You have to prepare for the worst to survive in this world.

I agree, but it's still extremely sad that in 2018, we still have to fight against ignorance and hatred that causes this world to be unsafe, you'd think it would be common knowledge how to live decently without disrupting other people's lives.

 

 

But nope.

[Jusey1]

8 hours ago, Sally said:

How many times and in how many ways do we have to tell you that we don't WANT men we don't even know telling us they like our dress, or hat, or whatever else they see, including any part of our bodies?  JUST DON'T DO IT.  

We have two strongly different viewpoints of the world obviously at this rate, so I'm sorry if we disagree but we disagree with one another. I was actually taught and grew up in a life where it is polite and nice to give someone a compliment to help improve their day and then move on with your own life. I was taught that being nice and welcoming, in a proper way mind you, helps the world feel more positive...

And I'm sticking to my belief in enhancing people's days by making them feel better with how they look, what they're wearing, etc... Even if I may not like it. Life shouldn't be controlled by fear, paranoia, negativity, and many other problems. We only need to acknowledge the possibility of them but not be forced to live by their rules or else all positivity in life with others just dies... I cannot simply imagine a world where everyone is afraid to talk to each other due to the fear of being put into jail, raped, murdered, or many other things... I simply do not want that and do not support that line of thinking, which is what you're asking me to do.

I'm a positive person and I wanna spread positivity to others, even if it is for a split second. Hate me all you want; I will not care. It is your fault that you're paranoid and afraid of someone like me who wants to spread positivity, not mine.

 

2 hours ago, Vincent Van Schmo said:

I think Ficto makes a good point that an extreme enough minority can still be very scary.  You have to prepare for the worst to survive in this world.

Well, yeah and I agree with him to that extent. I just don't agree with living life in fear and paranoia. I feel like it is a bad way to live when you're afraid of everybody you do not know, and even then. Some people can take it another step forward and even be afraid of everyone in their own life, since any bad thing can happen... For all you know, you can be betrayed by your own family, husband, wife, etc at any moment...

And I acknowledge the possibilities of those happening and keep my mind prepared for anything. Any bad thing can potentially happen at anytime by anyone. However, I do not and will not live in fear just because something bad is possible. We have a short life and it is best to enjoy the time you have on this world than to always be afraid, always be on edge, etc at everything.

 

2 hours ago, The Dryad said:

@Jusey1

I'm not living a life of paranoia because I choose it , but because someone decided to show me what rape culture is early on, what happened to me isn't a singular case or a coincidence, the perpetuation of disrespect, talking about women like we're less than a whole person, like we're bodies made of meat without minds here to please menfolk with our beauty and bodies. Not that this doesn't have negative consequences on men either- this whole culture places suspicion on both innocent and guilty men (and women in some cases).

Rape culture does not exists... It's flat-out even illegal and most men don't even give a flying fuck about you in that regards anyways! This is why I am saying you are choosing to live in paranoia because you are literally afraid of a very minority group of men, AND women, that may want to rape you, murder you, etc... It's a very minimal group. Probably 5% at most (which sucks that it isn't 0%, I'll agree there) BUT my point is still don't let that fear control you. That culture doesn't exists, it's just in your head... Created by your own paranoia...

Hell, even just the normal pervertic people who only catcall you don't think you like that... Sure, they like your body (which is obvious due to the catcall and why catcalling is so god damn RUDE and annoying) BUT that doesn't mean that they always only want you for your physical self, and it doesn't mean that they are all rapists, murderers, etc...

Hell, at best, we might have some kind of sex culture, sure. Where we do have a lot of people of BOTH PHYSICAL GENDERS that are very very focused on the sex side of life but those kind of people who lives that kind of culture will not actually rape you, murder, or anything like that. They're just perverts and probably are only around 20-30% of the population, if we use statistics based on internet culture and groups that is... Might be less than that in all honesty.

So, yes... It is paranoia that you choose to let control your life because you keep the dark fears and mental thoughts trapped in your head instead of just letting them go and only being casually aware of the dangers... That is my advice. Just let it go, take a deep breath and realize that the things you fear have a slim chance of happening, and you shouldn't have to worry about them unless you have a really good reason to believe that someone might be that kind of person. As I keep saying, it is better to live life in a positive light, than it is in a negative light and that's only just my personal advice based on my personal opinion of life...

If you disagree with me, that's fine but remember that we disagree. I'm not gonna believe in this rape culture crap, and I'm not gonna live in fear anymore. I spent my entire teenage years living in fear of bullies, assoholics, and many many other issues and dangers... I'm not letting fear control my adult life but rather I am going to be a positive light in a world that feels like it wants to be full of darkness...

[ryn2]

5 minutes ago, Jusey1 said:

Sure, they like your body

I think this is one place a lot of us are disagreeing.  Catcalling (as people have mentioned above) isn’t about appreciating someone’s body.  It’s about power, and about reminding people who doesn’t have that power.

[Joe the Stoic]

3 minutes ago, Jusey1 said:

 

Well, yeah and I agree with him to that extent. I just don't agree with living life in fear and paranoia. I feel like it is a bad way to live when you're afraid of everybody you do not know, and even then. Some people can take it another step forward and even be afraid of everyone in their own life, since any bad thing can happen... For all you know, you can be betrayed by your own family, husband, wife, etc at any moment...

And I acknowledge the possibilities of those happening and keep my mind prepared for anything. Any bad thing can potentially happen at anytime by anyone. However, I do not and will not live in fear just because something bad is possible. We have a short life and it is best to enjoy the time you have on this world than to always be afraid, always be on edge, etc at everything.

 

You're right that there are negative consequences to living in fear.  Namely, men who never lay a hand on anyone live under constant judgment and suspicion because of the few who offend.  The game theoretical implications for good men living in that world that can be rather grim as well.

 

Nevertheless, sexual assault, while rare, isn't so rare (or harmless) that people ought not to fear it on a consistent basis.  Other threats, like a meteor hitting the Earth, are so unlikely and so unpredictable that you cannot reasonably hope to defend yourself against them anyway.

[ryn2]

Here are the US stats for sexual assault.  These numbers don’t include verbal harassment.

 

TW - mention of rape and CSA in the link.

 

https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics

 

Including verbal harassment might even take it up to a majority occurrence for women (and a less rare one for men).

[The Dryad]

3 hours ago, Jusey1 said:

Rape culture does not exists... It's flat-out even illegal 

If you think rape culture is non-existent then you must not know what it is. Catcalling is about exerting power and dominance, and the stereotypical male ego complex. To think it's illegal makes me laugh even more, Trump literally has a recording of himself saying he grabs women by the p****. And he's the leader of the free world, there's a reason #MeToo is a global movement.

 

3 hours ago, Jusey1 said:

head instead of just letting them go and only being casually aware of the dangers... 

You must not know the degree that rape, sexual harassment and overall threats go under reported, this isn't about paranoia or living in fear, it's about the fact that one half of the world's population has to deal with unnecessary and inappropriate behavior that causes suffering to our lives. Sexual assault is not rare in the least bit.

[The Dryad]

3 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Here are the US stats for sexual assault.  These numbers don’t include verbal harassment.

 

TW - mention of rape and CSA in the link.

 

https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics

 

Including verbal harassment might even take it up to a majority occurrence for women (and a less rare one for men).

Take into account that these statistics probably aren't accurate due to unreporting, but the margin of error should cover it.

[ryn2]

Just now, The Dryad said:

Take into account that these statistics probably aren't accurate due to unreporting, but the margin of error should cover it.

Agreed on both counts.  Even so, and even without including numbers for verbal harrassment,  it certainly doesn’t paint a picture of rare or even uncommon circumstances.

[Jusey1]

3 hours ago, ryn2 said:

I think this is one place a lot of us are disagreeing.  Catcalling (as people have mentioned above) isn’t about appreciating someone’s body.  It’s about power, and about reminding people who doesn’t have that power.

Except everyone has pretty equal power here in the United States... The only actual real power is based on Governmental Influences and Money. Anything else is totally within your control and you have the power, and right, to change your situation. An average woman has the same power as an average man in our society. Sure, there are SOME situations where a man has more power than a woman or even less power than a woman depending on the situation, but those are very few and far between... And I do want to see those situations go away, trust me on that one. I support true Equality where everyone gets equal chances, which for the most part we do have...

And if you are in a situation where you feel like someone has power over you when they're not a boss, Government/Authority figure, etc but just a random stranger or even a person you hang out with... You have the freedom to get out of that situation. It can be hard depending on the person that is trying to control you but you're never at their mercy. You're never powerless and that person can be put into jail pretty easily if you are smart about it.

 

12 minutes ago, The Dryad said:

If you think rape culture is non-existent then you must not know what it is. Catcalling is about exerting power and dominance, and the stereotypical male ego complex.

Catcalling is a very rude sexual whistle that should end but it has nothing to do with exerting power and dominance. Most idiots who catcalls only does it because they like what they see. It has nothing to do with this dominance and power crap. I don't know where you got that definition, plus again... We already agreed that catcalling is wrong. WHY ARE WE STILL BRINGING THIS UP?!?!

Also, yes. Rape culture is non-existent here in the United States. Maybe in some countries around the world, sure. But not here.

 

14 minutes ago, The Dryad said:

it's about the fact that one half of the world's population has to deal with unnecessary and inappropriate behavior that causes suffering to our lives.

There we go with the selfish attitude once again... EVERYBODY that can be a victim, has the chance to be a victim. It doesn't matter what gender they are, their race, their culture... None of that matters. Anyone can be the victim and anyone can be the offender. There is no "One side" to this. There is no "Half of the population" bullshit. It is everyone, bottom line.

In my honest opinion, you either help everyone or help no one and shut up. Being bias and picking one group over another creates a lot of problems itself because you are separating groups of people and then creating more negative tension between everyone when you should be uniting everyone against the toxic problems in our society.

 

18 minutes ago, The Dryad said:

You must not know the degree that rape, sexual harassment and overall threats go under reported,

No one knows the true numbers because it is impossible. We have too many human beings here in the US alone to truly know US's numbers. Plus, there are also factors of people lying about being assaulted/harassed, victims that are too SCARED to report the crime to the police which they should do immediately when the crime is fresh, and many other factors on everyone's part. There is no central "rape culture" thing going on, or true power over women going on in our society. Just a bunch of people breaking the law and getting away with due to the lack of work on someone's part. This could be the victim's lack of reporting, the authority's lack of skill, the lack of evidence, and many other potential factors.

[ryn2]

12 minutes ago, Jusey1 said:

And if you are in a situation where you feel like someone has power over you when they're not a boss, Government/Authority figure, etc but just a random stranger or even a person you hang out with... You have the freedom to get out of that situation. It can be hard depending on the person that is trying to control you but you're never at their mercy. You're never powerless and that person can be put into jail pretty easily if you are smart about it.

I’m not sure how calling the police on everyone who catcalls or otherwise verbally harasses strangers (of any gender) benefits anyone, though, as compared to people - especially the ones who genuinely mean to be nice - thinking twice and not doing it.

 

It’s typically not illegal, unless you can show it’s crossing into assault or menacing.

 

Even where (geographically, or in a particular case) it is illegal, it’s difficult to prove.

 

Calling it in and attempting to prosecute it is time-consuming and wastes resources.

 

Where it’s illegal and the charges “stick” the catcaller gets a record.

 

If someone is genuinely being nice, why would they prefer a criminal record to just not doing it to start with?

[ryn2]

29 minutes ago, Jusey1 said:

Rape culture is non-existent here in the United States. Maybe in some countries around the world, sure. But not here.

What are you basing this assessment on?

 

Or maybe the better question is ”what definition of ‘rape culture’ are you using?”

 

I’m using Oxford’s “a society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.”

[The Dryad]

15 minutes ago, Jusey1 said:

There we go with the selfish attitude once again... EVERYBODY that can be a victim, has the chance to be a victim.

Just because everyone can be a victim, doesn't mean that everyone is, sexual harassment and assault do happen to men (in a few cases the perpetrator is female) but I'm fairly certain that most sex crimes are caused by men.....and if men are the ones who are basically raping everyone then why isn't it being addressed? Rape culture glorifies the male ego and the stereotypical grade A strong man, which is why there are stigma's of men not crying and not reporting sexual abuses, rape culture doctrines state that in order to be 'a real man', one must do as real men do, such as catcall pretty ladies, eat steak and hamburgers, hunt, etc. Rape culture exists because it stems from the most toxic gender norms and mentalities. The same detrimental gender norms that tell boys that they should play football and not play with fashion dolls, are the very same the breeds disrespect for women, viewing them as empty- headed dolls built for pleasure, and inherently have no fundamentally important thoughts and feelings of their own; the fact that we're having this conversation is a fact that rape culture exists.

[uhtred]

For people who honestly want to avoid harassing women (as opposed to those who just want an excuse to harass - for which there is no help), nonverbal communication is  important. 

 

Very few people object to a friendly smile - the sort of smile that often comes naturally when you see someone you are attracted to.  The other persons response  smile / deliberately not look, etc, gives a clear clue as to whether or not they want further contact. 

 

Saying "hello" is rarely considered offensive unless the other person has given some clear indication by body language that they don't want to talk. Again they can expand the conact   "Hi,  ...(followed by some random conversation opener). of they can say hello and go back to reading their cell phone

'

If conversation is started it should start neutral the move to more personal issues only if both people are moving it that way. 

 

 

Its really not that hard.   Most people intuitively know that "Hey, nice ass!". is not going to be appreciated by most women as a conversation opener. Unfortunately some people don't *care* that their advances are not appreciated. 

 

Sadly, Hollywood tends to romanticize sexual harassment in the form of men who continue to pursue and pester women  in the face of clear rejection, and I think that has badly trained a lot of people. 

 

 

[Calligraphette_Coe]

48 minutes ago, The Dryad said:

Just because everyone can be a victim, doesn't mean that everyone is, sexual harassment and assault do happen to men (in a few cases the perpetrator is female) but I'm fairly certain that most sex crimes are caused by men.....and if men are the ones who are basically raping everyone then why isn't it being addressed? 

I pointed this out in a pretty contentious trans thread right here on AVEN of all places. Guess what? I was written up for 'Bigotted and Sexist Content'.

 

I also shared my experience of being sexually assaulted, and was told it had to be spoilered. ( If I had to do it all over again, I would NEVER open up about it again, although I got a lot of support, I also got a lot of grief about it.)

 

Just sayin'.....

[uhtred]

I don't think the frequency of sexual assault is really all that relevant.  We can have exactly the same conversation with the genders removed and all the same issues apply.  

 

I think in practice male on female harassment / sexual assault is considerably more common that the reverse, but I don't think it matters for this. 

 

 

[The Dryad]

43 minutes ago, Calligraphette_Coe said:

I pointed this out in a pretty contentious trans thread right here on AVEN of all places. Guess what? I was written up for 'Bigotted and Sexist Content'.

 

I also shared my experience of being sexually assaulted, and was told it had to be spoilered. ( If I had to do it all over again, I would NEVER open up about it again, although I got a lot of support, I also got a lot of grief about it.)

 

Just sayin'.....

People don't like talking about issues that call out a certain group of the population, no matter what, we need to talk about stuff like this! Our society is falling apart.

 

@Calligraphette_Coe I'm sorry people gave you grief, especially when it's already so hard to talk about. 💜