There's no point.

[staer]

I feel like i shouldn't bring up sex when it is bothering me to me asexual partner. 

 

We've talked about it before. It has only led to rejection. So what's the point of bringing it up when it does bother me?

[ryn2]

This is sometimes where a LGBT+-friendly therapist or counsellor can help; they can facilitate discussions that are difficult to navigate on your own.

 

Whether that approach makes sense depends on how serious and committed the relationship is... in terms of how much effort/time/resources you want to invest in it.

[Ceebs]

If you can't talk about it, and you can't not talk about it (eventually you won't be able to ignore it, I promise you), then perhaps it's not the right relationship for you to be in.

 

Also though, seconding @ryn2. I don't know what the nature of your relationships is and whether that makes sense in its context, but sometimes having someone who's outside the situation can help to reframe things or guide the discussion.

[RottenInDenmark]

What bothers you? That your partner don’t want sex because they are asexual? Or those the overall conversation just get swept under the rug? 

I would agree with @ryn2 if you have communication issues 

 

[staer]

1 minute ago, RottenInDenmark🎃 said:

What bothers you? That your partner don’t want sex because they are asexual? Or those the overall conversation just get swept under the rug? 

I would agree with @ryn2 if you have communication issues 

 

The conversion being swept under the rug. 

[RottenInDenmark]

40 minutes ago, staer said:

The conversion being swept under the rug. 

Okay, then I can understand your frustration. But I agree with @ryn2 if you have problems voicing your issues and needs seek help or work together how to go about the conversation. But also @CBC if this is not the relationship for you’ and you can’t talk about it. Then maybe it’s not gonna work out. But that doesn’t mean that anyone’s in the wrong, you can’t expect someone to be something they are not. Sometimes compromising can work, but if people aren’t compatible and can’t come to a mutural understanding where both partners are happy, then you are not gonna work out.   

 

Hope it makes sense and hope it works out

[Telecaster68]

Actually, I'd say the person doing the rugsweeping is in the wrong. They may have strong mitigation, but they shouldn't do it. It's selfish. 

[nanogretchen4]

How long have you been dating, and how many times have you brought it up? Have you discussed in detail whether your partner is repulsed equally by all sexual activities and situations, or only certain acts? I don't want to get too detailed outside of the Sex Talk, but there are specific acts society inaccurately associates mainly with gay men that people may have issues with. Like, both act specific repulsion issues and gender role insecurity issues. Maybe throw in religious guilt and/or cultural shame issues depending on his background. He could be in an earlier stage of the coming out process than you. Or, given that he sounds young and is certainly inexperienced, he may simply not be emotionally ready for sex yet.

[Lara Black]

4 hours ago, staer said:

We've talked about it before. It has only led to rejection. So what's the point of bringing it up when it does bother me?

What would you like to achieve through talking? If your partner is asexual, they won’t start wanting sex and won’t start showing initiative. So how exactly are things going to be better? Or even – what should change for you to define it as “better”?

Your relationships will never feel completely fulfilling and sexually satisfying – that’s impossible due to the sexual incompatibility. So what is the middle ground you’re ready to settle for?