[Trans only] Do you appear in a body of a different gender in your dreams?

[mreid]

Trans edition of this:

and this

 

I'm curious to compare results. So for I have noticed that non-binary people tend to dream of themselves in different genders or a mix of both, and cis people for the most part either don't notice anything or dream of themselves in their own gender.

 

I'm not sure if trans non-binary is a thing, but this thread is targeted only at trans binary people.

 

[Taylor Lilith]

1 minute ago, mreid said:

different genders

I never imagine myself in a different gender.  Just a different body.

[Taylor Lilith]

Just now, mreid said:

But is the physical gender of that body different from your waking physical one?

No such thing as physical gender.  Try assigned sex at birth.  You can't imagine yourself in a different gender, the concept doesn't exist. 

[Taylor Lilith]

2 minutes ago, mreid said:

Okay then. Is it a different sex than your assigned one at birth?

Yes,, in my dreams, regardless of my gender at the time, I was assigned female at birth.

[LeChat]

If it helps, this Reddit AskTransgender page asked trans people the same question. Most were either MTF or FTM transgender people, with a few non-binary people also commenting. All of their answers were varied, so I don't know if you can really judge people's desired gender according to their dreams or nightmares.

 

Quote

I'm not sure if trans non-binary is a thing, but this thread is targeted only at trans binary people.

I've heard from trans people that trans non-binary does exist, like gender non-conformity, as not all trans people fit into, act, or dress according to society's stereotypical, binary gender roles/expression, 100%. 

[Guest]

I don't dream too often but when I do, I'm usually AMAB but sometimes I'm completely genderless.

[Guest]

47 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

If it helps, this Reddit AskTransgender page asked trans people the same question. Most were either MTF or FTM transgender people, with a few non-binary people also commenting. All of their answers were varied, so I don't know if you can really judge people's desired gender according to their dreams or nightmares.

49 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

I've heard from trans people that trans non-binary does exist, like gender non-conformity, as not all trans people fit into, act, or dress according to society's stereotypical, binary gender roles/expression, 100%.

Yes it seems that regardless of whether someone is trans or not, the gender in their dreams varies massively from person to person and even can vary at different times on different nights etc. Some people experience being one gender consistently in their dreams, but many don't seem to even be aware of their gender or some will randomly have a different set of genitals or whatever. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme nor reason to it! And regarding the second part (I mucked the quotes up) I have heard a lot of people here saying that anyone who doesn't identify as 'cis' is trans. I know that's hotly debated though! I personally hate the term cis but I'm also not trans, can I just be a person??

[Taylor Lilith]

48 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Most were either MTF or FTM transgender people, with a few non-binary people also commenting. All of their answers were varied, so I don't know if you can really judge people's desired gender according to their dreams or nightmares.

Exactly.  trans people don't have to conform to any gender roles.   You don't even have to have every agender trait to be agender.  These kinds of posts serve to divide cis and trans and I find it to be self-defeating and pointless.  

[Taylor Lilith]

7 minutes ago, mreid said:

I have always been good at both artsy stuff and stem stuff, and one time I watched this show on the History channel where they presented several challenges where men would be better at some and women at others because of differences in the brain, and I scored well at both.

This is called bull sh*t.  They use this argument to kick women out of STEM.  Men aren't inherently better at anything than women.  It's a battleground in feminsism.  No joke, being male doesn't mean you are good at math.

 

18 minutes ago, mreid said:

used to be a bit skeptical about trans and non binary people until I found that study, which argued that for transgender people their brains would be the opposite gender of their body

Me too.  When I was struggling to reconcile myself with male I combed the internet for hours. Scientific papers, discussion, history, foreign culture.  There was no purchase for me to lie to myself anymore and I realized I was transgender and my life is textbook internalized transphobia.

[Taylor Lilith]

1 hour ago, mreid said:

Look I am no scientist, I am just going from studies I found. It doesn't hurt anyone to ask them about their gender in their dreams, I think. I don't have any agenda, just trying to figure myself out.

I typed and retyped my reply, angrily not angrily, and I kept deleting it.  This is the best response I have for you,

 

You probably don't have an agenda but you are splicing this topic incorrectly.  You are always asking questions on the basis of cis and trans not, men and women or masc and femme.  Asking cis and trans like you always do is looking for answers in the wrong place.  You won't find answers on gender on the basis of cis and trans.

 

You should have asked everyone the same question.  The data you are looking for is not along cis/trans lines.  Gender is a human phenomena not a cis and trans one.  Ask the humans not cis and trans.  When you split the same question into two of the same questions it very much comes across-to me-as a trans vs a cis bathroom not ,inclusive male, female and gender neutral restrooms.

 

What you are asking is an excellent question but the way you did it is ... somewhat lacking in execution?  If that makes sense?

[Ms. Carolynne]

I posted in the original thread, so I'll just copy and paste.

 

Typically my body is sexless in my dreams. I do have a body that's there, just not a notable sex. Usually I don't see / experience it in a way that would identify the sex, so I can't quite say. Sex characteristics just aren't apparent.

Sometimes though I'm cis-female. A few times I've been a trans woman who had medically transitioned. I've been my birth sex as well.

As for gender, I'm female. Like, I'm conceptually a girl in my dreams, despite whatever sex I may be. But that's probably a given. In some dreams though my gender isn't something I'm aware of or present as a concept, so it isn't noted or relevant in any way.

As a bit of a side note, there is a sense of gender neutrality in my dreams. There are still gendered things, but language for instance is very gender neutral. Nobody is addressed by gender, and pronoun usage is often the singular they.

[Guest]

6 hours ago, mreid said:

The idea behind this is that I found this study that says that the gender of the brain can be identified through an mri, because male and female brains differ. I used to be a bit skeptical about trans and non binary people until I found that study, which argued that for transgender people their brains would be the opposite gender of their body. So, since the mind in those cases see itself as a different gender as the physical one, that should be visible in dreams because dreams are how your mind perceives things, so the gender your mind thinks it is should be the same as your physical one.

But (AFAB) men and women often dream of themselves as either no gender or sometimes the body of the other gender, or just randomly sometimes they might have a different set of genitals or whatever. I don't think the brain being either 'more female' or 'more male' has much of an impact on dreams because they're so random from person to person.

 

[Light02]

9 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

Yes it seems that regardless of whether someone is trans or not, the gender in their dreams varies massively from person to person and even can vary at different times on different nights etc. Some people experience being one gender consistently in their dreams, but many don't seem to even be aware of their gender or some will randomly have a different set of genitals or whatever. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme nor reason to it! And regarding the second part (I mucked the quotes up) I have heard a lot of people here saying that anyone who doesn't identify as 'cis' is trans. I know that's hotly debated though! I personally hate the term cis but I'm also not trans, can I just be a person??

I keep meaning to ask you this and I never seem to find an opportunity. Maybe it's out of place for me to do so, so if I'm overstepping please tell me. In lots of threads you've said that you have/had very strong gender dysphoria but you don't id as trans because you wouldn't be happier living as male either. You feel genderless and the concept of gender doesn't mean anything to you. So I'm thinking: "Isn't that what being non-binary is?" (A specific type of non-binary, of course, genderless.) You also say you don't identify as cis either which is, again, common for non-binary people, lots of us id as neither cis, nor trans. Although, you've also said you don't really identify as human, right? So if that's the reason you reject the concept of gender because it's irrelevant to you as a human concept, then that makes sense. But if not, I'm just wondering, what stops you from identifying as non-binary? Obviously you don't have to, you can just be whatever, in your case, genderless, without being a part of the larger community but I'm just curious why you seem to consider yourself technically cis, even though you don't like that word. Sorry if this question is too far, you don't have to answer if you don't want, I've just always wanted to ask you.  

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Light02 said:

I keep meaning to ask you this and I never seem to find an opportunity. Maybe it's out of place for me to do so, so if I'm overstepping please tell me. In lots of threads you've said that you have/had very strong gender dysphoria but you don't id as trans because you wouldn't be happier living as male either. You feel genderless and the concept of gender doesn't mean anything to you. So I'm thinking: "Isn't that what being non-binary is?" (A specific type of non-binary, of course, genderless.) You also say you don't identify as cis either which is, again, common for non-binary people, lots of us id as neither cis, nor trans. Although, you've also said you don't really identify as human, right? So if that's the reason you reject the concept of gender because it's irrelevant to you as a human concept, then that makes sense. But if not, I'm just wondering, what stops you from identifying as non-binary? Obviously you don't have to, you can just be whatever, in your case, genderless, without being a part of the larger community but I'm just curious why you seem to consider yourself technically cis, even though you don't like that word. Sorry if this question is too far, you don't have to answer if you don't want, I've just always wanted to ask you.  

I see myself as 'technically cis' because I accept that my body has boobs and a vajayjay (and ovaries etc.) and I have no desire to change that in any way to something else through hormones or surgery. Like, if I could have chosen to be born male, or be born looking much more agender, I probably would have, but I have no desire to actually seek change now that I am what I am. A change (like having a surgical penis or growing a beard or whatever) wouldn't make me any more comfortable so I just accept that it's the body of a human female. While I don't adhere to gender stereotypes in my behavior (everything I do could be done by either a man or a woman and no one would blink an eye), I don't feel that gender stereotypes really have anything to do with anything so they're irrelevant to me, but yeah, the only part of me that's truly female is my biological body.

 

I did have severe gender dysphoria growing up (to the extent I've even been in trouble by a mod for talking about it without hiding it in a spoiler, oops), and am still very uncomfortable being identified as a 'female' or with any female orientated things (mother, daughter, etc), but it would be just as uncomfortable for me being identified as male or anything else. I'm a parent, not a mother. An offspring, not a daughter. A person, not a 'woman' (Y_Y). However, I have a female body and I accept that, even if internally I am just an entity stuck in a human body.

 

My body is 'cis' and my mind just has to deal with that!! And there are a lot of 'cis' people who aren't comfortable with their gender or their body or whatever, it's just that if nothing else could ease that discomfort then.. what else does one have but to accept the reality of one's body? 😕 

[Guest]

I dont really know what i am like in my dreams, i never pay attention to it. Because usually im caught up in the nightmares... 

 

 

[LeChat]

A sex psychologist has mentioned, on a page discussing asexuals, that some asexuals (TW for discussion of sex dreams) 

 

Spoiler

...have sexual fantasies or kinks, yet still be asexual, and during their "nocturnal emissions," some sexual men might have strange sexual fantasies that they're worried or bothered by in real life and feel repulsed by, and that "Just because one dreams about having sex with a baby cousin, sister, pet dog, male race car driver, female cheerleader, or exposing oneself on the gridiron doesn’t necessarily mean one is into pedophilia, incest, bestiality, homosexuality, heterosexuality, or exhibitionism..."

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-sexuality-and-romance/201707/wet-dreams-bemused-and-bewildered

 

So, this is why dreams aren't necessarily a definitive indicator of a person's sexuality, gender, etc.

 

The AskTransgender Reddit page I gave earlier, showed that Trans people also experience different gender fantasies, not only as their desired, physical body.

[K.I.N.G]

Lol Trans non-binary does exist - though im not binary  I do identify as most male and am so in the few dream I have and remember.

[nerdperson777]

I don't think I have a specific gender in my dream.  I'm not even sure if I have a body with limbs.  It's like I'm just there and things happen.

 

On 9/23/2018 at 4:53 PM, Taylor Lilith said:

This is called bull sh*t.  They use this argument to kick women out of STEM.  Men aren't inherently better at anything than women.  It's a battleground in feminsism.  No joke, being male doesn't mean you are good at math.

Well, we can say that every career used to be a man's career since women couldn't have jobs other than being stay-at-home moms.  The "good at math" thing is really just stereotypes that have no real base.  Just because there are more males in STEM doesn't mean they're better.  This society has scared away many females from joining STEM fields.  I don't like affirming stereotypes but I do fit in them.  I'm decent at math, I'm bad at emotions, I can't write an essay to save my life, art is really foreign to me when it's open-ended.  I mean like I understand the rules for them, but when it's time to create your own thing, I'm absolutely stumped.

 

On 9/23/2018 at 11:45 PM, FictoVore. said:

I see myself as 'technically cis' because I accept that my body has boobs and a vajayjay (and ovaries etc.) and I have no desire to change that in any way to something else through hormones or surgery. Like, if I could have chosen to be born male, or be born looking much more agender, I probably would have, but I have no desire to actually seek change now that I am what I am. A change (like having a surgical penis or growing a beard or whatever) wouldn't make me any more comfortable so I just accept that it's the body of a human female. While I don't adhere to gender stereotypes in my behavior (everything I do could be done by either a man or a woman and no one would blink an eye), I don't feel that gender stereotypes really have anything to do with anything so they're irrelevant to me, but yeah, the only part of me that's truly female is my biological body.

 

I did have severe gender dysphoria growing up (to the extent I've even been in trouble by a mod for talking about it without hiding it in a spoiler, oops), and am still very uncomfortable being identified as a 'female' or with any female orientated things (mother, daughter, etc), but it would be just as uncomfortable for me being identified as male or anything else. I'm a parent, not a mother. An offspring, not a daughter. A person, not a 'woman' (Y_Y). However, I have a female body and I accept that, even if internally I am just an entity stuck in a human body.

 

My body is 'cis' and my mind just has to deal with that!! And there are a lot of 'cis' people who aren't comfortable with their gender or their body or whatever, it's just that if nothing else could ease that discomfort then.. what else does one have but to accept the reality of one's body? 😕 

Could the word for that be cisgenderless?  (Some people don't like this term because they think it's cis people trying to be trans or something.)  It means that you're cis no matter what your AGAB is.  Like you wouldn't care if you were born with the body of whichever binary gender.  I guess people don't like it because it's like a "what if" scenario.  "If I was born of the opposite binary sex, I'd be okay with it."  "I was born male?  I'm male."  "I was born female?  I'm female."  No matter what happens, the person is cis.

[Guest]

26 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

Could the word for that be cisgenderless?  (Some people don't like this term because they think it's cis people trying to be trans or something.)  It means that you're cis no matter what your AGAB is.  Like you wouldn't care if you were born with the body of whichever binary gender.  I guess people don't like it because it's like a "what if" scenario.  "If I was born of the opposite binary sex, I'd be okay with it."  "I was born male?  I'm male."  "I was born female?  I'm female."  No matter what happens, the person is cis.

Hmm.. the 'cis' part is the issue though (which is why I hate the term 'cis'. It seems to imply I'm okay with whatever gender I have no matter what gender that is.. whereas it's more that I wouldn't feel any more comfortable no matter what gender I was, gender is something I'd rather just have nothing to do with because I find it uncomfortable, inconvenient, and it complicates matters severely. I guess? I think I'd have less chance of having such severe disphoria if I was born a guy but even then, I don't know? I prefer just not to identify as anything if I can help it, though I accept that I have the biological organs and appearance of a human female. That doesn't mean I'm happy with that or that  I 'feel like a woman' (whatever the heck that feels like) it just means I've come to accept the things I can't change. Just like the way my skin is blotchy instead of pure milky white. I mean.. I don't like it, but sadly there's nothing I can do about it 😕

[Guest]

On 9/25/2018 at 1:37 AM, mreid said:

How do you know they are really that random?

 I meant based on the responses it's clearly totally random. Some have had like two dreams their entire lives where they have a penis even though they were born with a vaj, some born with a vaj dream only of having a vaj, and and many born with a vaj or a penis seem that have dreams where their gender is a non-thing, like they don't even have a body. That's about as random as it gets because it's not like everyone is experiencing exactly the same thing with one or two people being the exception. The answers are all completely varied from person to person regardless of whether they're trans or not...

[Guest]

6 hours ago, mreid said:

Quitting dairy, soy and gluten could help

Oh hah no I never get pimples (and actually don't consume soy, gluten, or dairy). By blotchy I meant that you can see the blue and pink colours under the skin because it's kind of a translucent pale, even when I have a tan, and I have lots of freckles. Some pale girls have this really milky cream coloured skin that I've always been jealous of. But mine will always show the red and pink veins etc underneath the skin, even on my feet Y_Y laaame.

[dayagime]

Might not help finding any pattern you wanted but my dreams are basically the sims where i can control and make decisions for this character in front of me. Can't remember seeing their face and the body always looks unclear and blurred, maybe that's what it is, just a body to be able to interact with the dream?