Jump to content

Tips for Genderfluidity


Joshie

Recommended Posts

I identify as genderfluid and I'm constantly dealing with dysphoria. I'm not out to my parents and I don't plan on coming out any time soon. My mom is constantly trying to make me dress more feminine when I feel masculine most times. How do I handle dysphoria without actually coming out? I could use some tips for feeling masculine. (I'm a biological female and it's hard not to tell so most people don't see me as male. I have unwanted curves everywhere...) Tips for feeling feminine is welcome too. I always try to dress androgynously but sometimes it's not enough.

Link to post
Share on other sites
overturn overturn overturn

We resolved it somehow...With marriage.  Taking our biological female side as our own wife. It reduced dysphoria almost to zero. 

Because now we don't mind if people see only our wife, or address her, however we feel, whatever we wear.

And other thing, using plural to express ourselves. No problems with explanations to anyone, no needs for coming out as just one of our sides. We found the balance on this way, and we treat our both sides equally expressing our duality.

It helped. We made it...

Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza

I'm not genderfluid so I can't honestly comment on that, but if wearing dresses is making you uncomfortable tell your parents so. You don't need to come out, just say you don't like them and you'd rather wear [insert other stuff here]. If they ignore you do what I did as a kid - rip them up and throw them in the bin. No one ever bought me a dress again after I did that.

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I'm not genderfluid so I can't honestly comment on that, but if wearing dresses is making you uncomfortable tell your parents so. You don't need to come out, just say you don't like them and you'd rather wear [insert other stuff here]. If they ignore you do what I did as a kid - rip them up and throw them in the bin. No one ever bought me a dress again after I did that.

I will take into consideration ripping up all my dresses. That's a great idea. I have told mom that I don't like to wear dresses and skirts and she claims to be fine with it and pretends to not care. Sometimes she'll say a rude comment about how I dress "like a boy" and constantly tells me that I'm going to wear a dress to prom.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza
4 minutes ago, Joshie said:

I will take into consideration ripping up all my dresses. That's a great idea. I have told mom that I don't like to wear dresses and skirts and she claims to be fine with it and pretends to not care. Sometimes she'll say a rude comment about how I dress "like a boy" and constantly tells me that I'm going to wear a dress to prom.

You've given her enough warning, eventually you have to stand up for yourself. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm genderfluid but my genders are agender and female and my presentation is always femme. 

 

If your mom is gonna be a b**th either do what @Anthracite_Impreza said or bring a change of clothes when you go out. It's something I recommend to genderfluid people anyways because 

 

42124237_322784298484947_872209066268347

 

I'm guessing your genders are a feminine one and a masculine one and often posture helps dysphoria. Trans women always crouching like the universe is trying to catch a peek up they're skirts etc. If you're male or masculine learn how to sit like a dude. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m an AFAB demifluid (partially genderfluid) guy, and while I’m out to my parents I’m willing to try to help. If you can talk your parents into letting you get your hair cut short, that could help a lot. I currently have my hair so short that I can give myself a little rush of gender euphoria by running my hands through it. If you like denim, you can find some women’s jeans that are fairly androgynous with the right shirt. If you don’t have a binder and can’t get one at the moment, unisex shirts with designs on the cheat are great for minimizing curves. I can probably think of more if you get back to me later.

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, nelpogrando said:

I’m an AFAB demifluid (partially genderfluid) guy, and while I’m out to my parents I’m willing to try to help. If you can talk your parents into letting you get your hair cut short, that could help a lot. I currently have my hair so short that I can give myself a little rush of gender euphoria by running my hands through it. If you like denim, you can find some women’s jeans that are fairly androgynous with the right shirt. If you don’t have a binder and can’t get one at the moment, unisex shirts with designs on the cheat are great for minimizing curves. I can probably think of more if you get back to me later.

This is very helpful. Thank you so much. My hair is currently short but my mom constantly makes rude comments about it. She threatens to make me grow it out. I never thought something as simple as running my hand through my hair would help, but it does a lot, thanks again. I'm not really picky when it comes to pants, I usually sag a little to hide my hips. I have a large collection of unisex shirts but I was always self conscious that they didn't do much. I guess they do!

Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Taylor Lilith said:

I'm genderfluid but my genders are agender and female and my presentation is always femme. 

 

If your mom is gonna be a b**th either do what @Anthracite_Impreza said or bring a change of clothes when you go out. It's something I recommend to genderfluid people anyways because 

 

42124237_322784298484947_872209066268347

 

I'm guessing your genders are a feminine one and a masculine one and often posture helps dysphoria. Trans women always crouching like the universe is trying to catch a peek up they're skirts etc. If you're male or masculine learn how to sit like a dude. 

Most of the time I slouch so my chest doesn't show as much and when I sit I spread my legs a little. When I feel feminine, I try to move my hips a little more and stand up straight. Sometimes my mom can be really nosey and she'll randomly look through my bag. Sometimes I'll wear an outfit under the current one. I usually try to dress androgynously, so should I bring a feminine outfit with me just in case?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Joshie said:

Most of the time I slouch so my chest doesn't show as much and when I sit I spread my legs a little. When I feel feminine, I try to move my hips a little more and stand up straight. Sometimes my mom can be really nosey and she'll randomly look through my bag. Sometimes I'll wear an outfit under the current one. I usually try to dress androgynously, so should I bring a feminine outfit with me just in case?

Do you get dysphoric wearing male clothing ever?

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Taylor Lilith said:

Do you get dysphoric wearing male clothing ever?

Sometimes, especially when I go full masculine. For example: I went to a school dance and I dressed as masculine as I could. As soon as I walked into the gym, a huge wave of dysphoria hit me and I felt super uncomfortable. This is the worst that it's ever hit me, otherwise it's pretty rare.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it the clothing making you dysphoric or something else I guess is a better question

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Taylor Lilith said:

Is it the clothing making you dysphoric or something else I guess is a better question

It's mainly my body. I have curves in all the places I don't want them to be.

Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Joshie said:

It's mainly my body. I have curves in all the places I don't want them to be.

Then you're probably fine.  The meme/suggestion is more like often times if I am agender I can't do pink so if I were wearing pink and my gender flopped into agender I would be up S**t creek without a paddle if I didn't have a change of clothes.  What you are describing is more of body dysphoria rather than the one you get from clothes not matching your gender.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...