EmbrAce It Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 This is more a "musing" than a "ranting" but someone move this if it's in the wrong section. So after a few weeks back at school, I listened to the people around me discuss a lot of stuff, among them the issue of people they think are "hot" or "cute", which don't seem to have a difference in their minds. Being demiromantic and asexual, I don't really understand the concept of "hot", and it has always, severely, confused me to no end. Maybe it's because the word itself has usually been associated with the appearance of a person who they don't necessarily know and find attractive...? I have no idea, honestly, someone who is of a more sexual/romantic-leaning orientation would have to explain it to me. My point of view personally is that aesthetically pleasing people can be cute, but I wouldn't date them because of it, and I wouldn't play "smash or pass" three weeks into the school year based on shallow acquaintances (having an extremely limited amount of time to get to know a person) and outward appearances/characteristics, mostly because I can't explain or comprehend the idea of "hotness". It confuses me because (I'm weird) I think my squishes are cute, I think my friends are cute, I think random people are cute....I just don't get "hot". Sure. Call it whatever you want, but for some reason "hot" has a far different connotation, albeit one I don't understand, than "cute". Someone please explain 😂❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
DeltaBird Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I think of cute as when you see an aesthetically pleasing human being, like when someone has a nice face or hair. I also think that people with a funny or nice personality are cute, because they are people I would like to get to know better. I think 'hot' is a word that sexuals use to describe someone who they would be ok having sex with? It sounded really weird to me but I guess that's a thing so... Anyway, that's kind of how I think of it, I probably did a terrible job explaining but hopefully you can kind of understand what I mean. Oh also I think little furry animals are really cute, but I could never think of one as 'hot.' Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 So I use 'hot' for people I find "attractive" (ex,, partners, specific actors/actresses, etc.) but I use 'cute' more-so to describe actions and friends. I've never used 'hot' to describe someone I'd wanna have sex with (mostly cuz I'm ace and sex repulsed) but I know a lot of people use it like that. The definitions probably change from person to person. Link to post Share on other sites
4108bn Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 In my mind, I've conflated "hot" and "sexy", so I don't really use or understand either. I see "hot" as being somewhere in line with aesthetic-sexual attraction, whereas sexy is more purely sexual. Cute feels more versatile and also more applicable to how I see people (and also feels less objectifying). These are just my interpretations and obviously, they're not going to be the same for everyone, but maybe they'll provide some context for how others see things and how you experience them (or don't). Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I find there to be quite a number of different types of beauty, and would use "cute" and "hot" as examples of two of those. "Cute" for me implies someone who is sexually attractive, but in a non-threatening, sort of way. Maybe someone younger (not *too* young). Someone who is cute may not really be aware of how sexually attractive they are - I've heard the phrase "like a kitten that doesn't know how to sheath its claws". "Hot" implies sexual attraction but in a more sort of aggressive controlled way. Someone who is "hot" *knows* that they are hot. I suspect other people may use the words differnetly. Link to post Share on other sites
ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 53 minutes ago, DeltaBird said: Oh also I think little furry animals are really cute, but I could never think of one as 'hot.' All praise to THIS! Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I don’t think I’ve used the words cute or hot unironically in years (aside from using the word “hot” to describe temperature). Definitely haven’t described anything as “hot” in the attractive sense. And, I tend to only use “cute” sarcastically when something is clearly not cute. 😅 I use very bland and attraction-neutral compliments like “nice.” As an aside, my interpretation of cute vs. hot is as follows: Cute - refers to a more innocent appeal; does not have to connote romantic or sexual attraction to the target; often applied to things or people with more infantile/youthful features Hot - seems to be more blatantly sexual; tends to connote a more carnal attraction to the target; more often applied to more mature individuals (not necessarily older but I guess more sexually mature? 🧐) Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 "Hot" for me is definitely a sexual thing, although it's not a word I really bother applying to stereotypically attractive film stars or whoever too often. It's more often a word I would use in relation to a partner, like commenting on a photograph of them or something. I've also used it not in relation to appearance, but to someone's communication, demeanour, the way they're speaking to me, that sort of thing. Body language and interaction. "Cute" is definitely less sexual, but it's still a compliment on someone's aesthetic attractiveness in an affectionate way. I don't tend to use it much myself, I've just never really cared for the word. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I hate the word "hot", it's too sexual for me, but I have used it ironically when my cars have been literally... hot Cute, yes; I call many vehicles, creatures and even people cute ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
QuantumEcho Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 i am called cute because i am hella adorable. Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I see "hot" as meaning attractive in a more sexual-implying way. So someone with large breasts or muscles would be "hot". I don't use the word to describe people because that kind of attractiveness doesn't appeal to me. I do see some people as cute or pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 I think it's strange that anyone would use cute to describe a child or a puppy and then use that same term for someone they want to have sex with. Link to post Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 Kitten and volcano Link to post Share on other sites
Madao Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 'Cute' for me is something which I wish to hug to death. 'Hot' for me is something which makes my face go hot? 10 hours ago, uhtred said: "Cute" for me implies someone who is sexually attractive, but in a non-threatening, sort of way. Maybe someone younger (not *too* young). Someone who is cute may not really be aware of how sexually attractive they are - I've heard the phrase "like a kitten that doesn't know how to sheath its claws". "Hot" implies sexual attraction but in a more sort of aggressive controlled way. Someone who is "hot" *knows* that they are hot. This is what I think. Though I only think of fictional characters as hot. Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 2 hours ago, SuperAceLogician said: Kitten and volcano Two great things that do not go great together..... Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 5 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: I hate the word "hot", it's too sexual for me, but I have used it ironically when my cars have been literally... hot Cute, yes; I call many vehicles, creatures and even people cute ❤️ "hot" is a colloquialism for "stolen", and liable to get the attention of the law Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 17 minutes ago, Skycaptain said: "hot" is a colloquialism for "stolen", and liable to get the attention of the law I'm surprised I've never been pulled over just for having good cars; that happens a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted September 20, 2018 Share Posted September 20, 2018 @Anthracite_Impreza, I was around when Blackbird Leys in Oxford was notorious for nearly destroying the blue collar fast car. That "hot" made folk weep Link to post Share on other sites
lilgroundhog Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 Hot has several meanings to me depending on the circumstances, normally due to some property of an item, spicy, thermally excited, or radioactive. I don't instinct u all you relate it to people at all. Animals and little kids are cute (though I don't want either). On prof in college would describe a derivation or solution of a problem as "cute". I don't think anyone really figured out what he meant by it. Link to post Share on other sites
Member131995 Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 Hmm...I never use the term "hot" to describe a person's looks. I might say they look hot if it's a hot day or they have a hot temper but not in a "ooooh they're good looking" kind of way. And "cute"? Well, kittens and puppies and babies are cute. But if I want to describe someone who's aesthetically pleasing to me, I'd use words like "attractive" or something. Even their personality, I wouldn't use the word cute. Link to post Share on other sites
iam135 Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 I agree with pretty much everyone else in that I'll use "cute" for fuzzy animals, babies, and other adorable things. I don't typically use "cute" to describe a fully grown person though. I can't really say that I use the word "hot" when describing people either. I don't really know why to be honest, I guess it implies sexual attraction which would make it a weird word choice for me. Same goes for the word "attractive" - it's just not really accurate for how I view people. I think that either "pretty" or "beautiful" tend to be my go to words when describing generally nice-looking, fully grown people. Link to post Share on other sites
Roidgy Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 For me, someone is cute when I feel the need to protect them, and someone is hot when I would be willing to have sex with them to show them appreciation or gratitude. For example, "that guy is really hot, id have sex with him to let him know he's doing a great job" tho I don't actually feel sexual attraction for them, and I'd rather not have sex but wouldn't mind if they wanted too. most people told me this is a pretty weird definition of hot, I don't blame them, it's just how I use the terms Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 2 hours ago, Roidgy said: I'd rather not have sex but wouldn't mind if they wanted too. I have struggled with low self-esteem and have felt this way before. That's where the willingness to make all sorts of sacrifices comes from, you don't value yourself enough. Link to post Share on other sites
ryn2 Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 Where I live “hot” in this sense (we also use it literally, and then for things like stolen goods and building materials that contain asbestos) is synonymous with sexy. Cute (when applies to grown-ups and clothes) is more likely to mean “attractive but not sexy.” Link to post Share on other sites
The Dryad Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 Yeah, I get called "cute" all the time, but that's probably because people usually think I'm under 18...the youngest I've gotten lately is 12 year old. "Cute" usually carries a non-sexually connotation, but saying that you're attractive, and usually young looking, child-like, etc. "Hot" for me is definitely more of a sexual terminology, usually I think of some movie I saw where someone has a wet t-shirt or no shirt but is sweating or wet, and another person, usually the opposite sex says "wow, they're hot", and I make this series of faces 😕😫🙄😒 Link to post Share on other sites
Polygon Posted September 21, 2018 Share Posted September 21, 2018 For me, cute: Spoiler For me, hot: Spoiler Yeah, I don't really use the word "hot" to describe people, even if they're aesthetically attractive. "Cute" seems more benign and less uncomfortable for me, but even then I'd rarely ever say out loud that a person is "cute", much less "hot". Link to post Share on other sites
SlargTheGnome Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 When I was a kid, I remember saying "Cute should be used to describe puppies, hot should be used to describe chili peppers". I was hella aroace as a kid. Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 I like to think of it as a sliding scale, with 'hot/sexy' at one end and 'cute/adorable' on the other. With most 'good looking' people having some mix of the two, but usually leaning toward one side. Link to post Share on other sites
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