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Have you ever had a "Where do babies come from" phase?


mreid

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I never did, which is something I always found strange. I don't remember there ever being a time in my life where I didn't know where babies came from, and I never asked my parents about it. My parents never had any many sex talks with me, except maybe that time they used the cat as a model before he was neutered to teach me what male parts consisted of, even though I already had a vague idea. I remember being pretty uncomfortable and awkward.

 

Freud says that that phase where kids ask many questions is just a way of avoiding asking what they really want to know, which is where babies come from or sex questions (this back in more prude times), which is why once they learn the questions stop abruptly. As for myself, I don't ever remember having that kind of phase. I think I always had some vague idea how sex went, and aside from knowing the basics I never had much curiosity about it as a kid.

 

I always had this kind of uneasiness around sex-related stuff as a kid and so I just stayed away from it. I am not sure if it was repulsion because I don't remember ever being very repulsed. It was more like an uneasiness and me wanting to stay away from it.

 

I don't have any siblings, and I don't remember ever seeing or hearing my parents do anything (in fact I don't remember ever seeing any display of affection between them). I also don't have any sexual trauma.

 

When I heard other kids talk about it at school, unless it was anything more out of the ordinary or some kind of innuendo, I would understand vaguely what they were talking about. I don't remember learning about sex from peers.

 

So the only thing I can think of is that as a kid I used to watch a lot of wildlife documentaries. I think that might have been how I learnt it.

 

Anyone relates to this?

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@mreid No, I've never gone through that phase of wondering where babies come from.

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@mreid Yes, but with good reason, [ TW ] I had a traumatic sexual experience when I was eight.

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15 minutes ago, mreid said:

Freud says that that phase where kids ask many questions is just a way of avoiding asking what they really want to know, which is where babies come from or sex questions (this back in more prude times), which is why once they learn the questions stop abruptly

Well duh. The questions stop once you get the answer? Funny how that works...

 

Re: topic... not that I remember. I have never been particularly social, so the interest in why people are here has never really been there.

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@mreid I remember being unaware of sex before that age, so it wasn't possible for me to feel uneasy about the topic before then.

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When I was little I was curious, but my parents told me "a mommy and daddy ask God for a baby, and then a baby grows inside mommy's tummy until they are ready to come out into the world." 

 

It was something along those lines, that made sense to my silly child brain. Then sex ed happened :D 

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Anthracite_Impreza

My entire life has been one long "who/what/when/where/why/how", so yes, I asked that question. I've known about sexual stuff since... 5? Whenever I got my first encyclopaedia. I've never stopped asking questions, so thank the gods for Google.

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Freud again? Christ.

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I don't remember ever asking that... My parents have also never given me any sex talks and at this point, I don't think they ever will. Which I'm very happy about 😂 

I never got curious about where babies come from. Also I think I kinda just figured it out by myself. 

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I don't recall if I ever asked where babies come from. Being one of the older siblings among several maybe I learned early on. 

 

As for questions stopping abruptly, that doesn't happen for some (many?) people (look at you, asking questions. :) ). I never stopped with questions, although I did learn to read and was able to find answers on my own more and more.

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17 minutes ago, mreid said:

@Salmiakki Do you remember at what age you figured it out? Or did you just kind of always knew?

I don't remember at all. I actually can't remember much at all about the time when I was younger than 13. 

But now that I think of it, I did once talk about sex with my mom when I was 15. She wasn't trying to teach me anything though. She got scared because my period was so late (I don't remember why on Earth she even knew that) and very awkwardly tried to ask if I had had sex lmao. During that time I actually first started realizing that I had anxiety... maybe that had something to do with periods and that's why I remember that conversation haha

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I was a curious kid, so I had questions about everything. Rather than asking where the babies come from, I just imagined them falling from the sky, or just magically appearing in front of a person when they pray to the God. 

I learnt about sexual organs from encyclopedia, but didn't know how exactly it worked. It was more like a research topic for me. One day, while pondering over it, I had an 'ah-ha' moment and I was very happy about my discovery. After that, I didn't have much interest in it. 

I always keep asking questions though. Last week I was wondering how snot is formed. So according to Freud, people who keep asking questions and are curious end up being asexual? 

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Well, my mom always told me babies grow in the bellies of ladies, and come out through a hole between their legs. That's close enough, I guess. I got some books about the matter when I hit puberty, but otherwise I've never been given The Talk. I did lots of self-education, lol.

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everywhere and nowhere

I asked about it when I was five years old. My mom, despite being a doctor (ophthalmologist), perhaps felt embarassed (or just wanted to stimulate my newly-gained ability to read), so instead of explaining, she gave me two books she had already bought in advance: "Mommy, daddy, please tell me where I come from" and "Don't believe in storks". I read them and felt totally freaked out by the idea of giving birth, it was extremely terrifying to me. This was the very moment I decided not to have children and not to marry. When I realised how does the process work exactly (about 3 years later?), I also decided not to have sex.

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Despite my curiosity and desire for learning at a young age, I never really wondered about that. In fact, I didn't learn about it until secondary school. I think it goes without saying that I didn't take biology at GCSE.

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@mreid What you described in your first message is a whole lot like the way I was. I think I actually never really cared, so all I knew was that they somehow grew inside a woman's body (which was terrifying to me). 

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Lord Jade Cross

I dont recall ever wondering about it, although it became evident when watching/listening to others others

 

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I always happily believed in the stork thing.

 

I was a pretty gullible kid.  It's only gotten slightly better with age.

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I never remember not knowing. Somehow I even knew about sperm/egg fertilization when I was like 4, I remember telling my mum about in the car Y_Y (yes, that's awkward now, but back then I just found it interesting. She should have just said "yes I already know" and shut me up lol). But my grandmother had heaps of really detailed and graphic anatomy books that I'd sit on the floor looking at for hours, I was super fascinated by all the diagrams, even like, a picture of a spine or whatever would blow my mind. So I probably picked it up from looking at the pics?

 

5 hours ago, NerotheReaper said:

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Still loving the profile pic ❤️ haven't watched that series yet but I have it downloaded in 1080p waiting for me when I'm finished with some of his other series that I'm watching. So exciting.

 

Okay, random off topic over now!

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13 hours ago, mreid said:

I think that what did it for me was the wildlife documentaries. Probably why I never had much curiosity about the subject either as a kid, I guess all I felt I needed to know was where the babies came from, I already did, so I stayed away mostly from everything else. Freud says kids wonder about those things when they are younger because they feel endangered by the thought of having a sibling and are trying to figure out if they can prevent it. I remember thinking about that as a kid.

 

No, Freud explains in that paper that people like da Vinci can "hold back" their feelings and urges and feel neutral and detached until they think them through and get as much knowledge as they can. According to Freud it's a way of serving the urges of the libido, without actually doing anything sexual. Freud said people can become asexual if they stay stuck in the thinking phase forever so that it can take over the persons sexuality. He also talks about this on his paper. I have even read somewhere that "ah-ha" moments are the equivalents of orgasm for people like this.

Ah, I didn't really feel endangered about having a sibling. My best friend's mom was pregnant at the same time my mom was pregnant with my sister, so I was really excited. My curiosity mainly stemmed from wondering how God put the baby inside my mom, because I couldn't figure out how it goes inside. 

Regarding the thinking phase taking over one's sexuality, I think that might be the case with me. I always put learning all kinds of things over romance or sex, so it has taken over my life. I remember preferring being engrossed in books than having any crushes.  Crushes still terrify me. But that may be the case because I am a tad bit androphobic. 

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Lord Jade Cross
19 hours ago, Philip027 said:

I always happily believed in the stork thing.

I have wondered, why a stork? I mean what symbol would a stork carry (if any) to make it the image designed to introduce the idea of parenthood to a child?

 

 

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Despite my usually inquisitive nature, I never questioned that one.  Maybe they're birds known for carrying things.

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Lord Jade Cross
22 hours ago, Madao said:

I was a curious kid, so I had questions about everything. Rather than asking where the babies come from, I just imagined them falling from the sky, or just magically appearing in front of a person when they pray to the God. 

I learnt about sexual organs from encyclopedia, but didn't know how exactly it worked. It was more like a research topic for me. One day, while pondering over it, I had an 'ah-ha' moment and I was very happy about my discovery. After that, I didn't have much interest in it. 

I always keep asking questions though. Last week I was wondering how snot is formed. So according to Freud, people who keep asking questions and are curious end up being asexual? 

(A bit of infering here)

 

I wouldnt think that they end up being asexual but there is a certain degree of truth in a statement such as excesive curiosity leading a person to not participate in an activity that does not interest them which would make sense in theory.

 

Im not sure if it was Newton who was rumored to have died without ever having sex because he was too set on mathematics. Now other geniuses in history have had families and children so it would be better to place it as a case by case scenario rather than saying that asexuality could be cause by excesive curiosity or a high IQ

 

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Lord Jade Cross
23 hours ago, Salmiakki said:

I don't remember at all. I actually can't remember much at all about the time when I was younger than 13. 

But now that I think of it, I did once talk about sex with my mom when I was 15. She wasn't trying to teach me anything though. She got scared because my period was so late (I don't remember why on Earth she even knew that) and very awkwardly tried to ask if I had had sex lmao. During that time I actually first started realizing that I had anxiety... maybe that had something to do with periods and that's why I remember that conversation haha

Taking into consideration the age, I imagine your mother may have freaked out a bit when you asked her about sex and , given that periods, while they can vary, are periodical, it probably didnt take much to assume "the reason my daughter is asking me about sex is because she had sex and doesnt understand it", rather than it being a question about chil birth.

 

Acompany that with a late period and you have one parent whos losing their minds at the thought of their kid being sexually active, which ironically to this day is something I cannot figure out why parents dont take the steps to teach kids about sex and then freak out at the mere mention of it, and in the case of aces or anyone who doesnt wish to have sex also freak out🤔

 

Should kids have a copy of the song Le freak on their phones so every time parents do this, then can turn and say "hang on mom/dad *plays song* Ok you may begin now"?

 

 

 

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37 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

Taking into consideration the age, I imagine your mother may have freaked out a bit when you asked her about sex and , given that periods, while they can vary, are periodical, it probably didnt take much to assume "the reason my daughter is asking me about sex is because she had sex and doesnt understand it", rather than it being a question about chil birth.

 

Acompany that with a late period and you have one parent whos losing their minds at the thought of their kid being sexually active, which ironically to this day is something I cannot figure out why parents dont take the steps to teach kids about sex and then freak out at the mere mention of it, and in the case of aces or anyone who doesnt wish to have sex also freak out🤔

 

Should kids have a copy of the song Le freak on their phones so every time parents do this, then can turn and say "hang on mom/dad *plays song* Ok you may begin now"?

 

 

 

Nonono didn't ask about sex, my mom asked me if I was having sex. I never brought sex up, she just thought that maybe I was pregnant because my period was so late

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Lord Jade Cross
6 minutes ago, Salmiakki said:

Nonono didn't ask about sex, my mom asked me if I was having sex. I never brought sex up, she just thought that maybe I was pregnant because my period was so late

Oh. Still, it would have been easy to see why she freaked out and thought you were having sex, considering a late period.

 

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I asked buteven at the young age I knew that the answers I got from my Mum made no sense. I never had "the talk" from either parent. I did however buy a book on the human body and found out that way and school sex education. My folks were weird and prudish. My Mum never explained periods to me so when I had my first one and it was very, very obvious to all who saw my summer dress, she got all weird with me again. She still didn't speak to me about it; made some stupid bootlace bracelet and left a wedge of ridiculously thick panty liners on my bed. They were like nappies. 

 

Seriously, that was a lesson in how not to deal with your kids on any of that. I feel that was one bit where they really failed bit tbh the relationship my parents had wasn't healthy. 

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Anthracite_Impreza
7 minutes ago, mreid said:

the egyptians thought all vultures were female and were impregnated by the wind. They had a goddess of motherhood with the head of a vulture called Mut, and Freud argued that the word "Mutter" (mother) could be derived from that.

I did not know that, but as someone interested in ancient Egypt I shall stow it away in my brain.

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Lord Jade Cross
37 minutes ago, mreid said:

I find that very relatable. Growing up I never had much beliefs or traditions or gender roles or whatever imposed on me and never had much guidance, as my parents would be mostly at work and I was always a bit of an outcast. It could have also been that in my family, because of quick political changes in my country, there's all these different beliefs and everyone trying to tell me I should be more like this, others say the opposite, etc... that I ended up never really believing in anything. And also I grew up with no role models and having to learn things on my own mostly.

 

 

Relatable

 

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