Jump to content

Second ace relationship nearing it's end


Jean Claude Van Ace

Recommended Posts

Jean Claude Van Ace

Folks, I've been in a very intense relationship with an ace person in the past. It ended harshly, as she had severe mental health issues that went untreated, and as much as I cared for her, I could not stand the abuse anymore.

 

Fast forward a few months, and I find myself with another ace girlfriend (both relationships were LDR, which is not a problem for me, and kind of a necessity giving where I live).  I think we all know here how difficult and unlikely is finding an ace partner. I truly appreciate the opportunity of finding more than one ace person to share thoughts and spend some time with.

 

However, as the title suggests, the relationship has probably run it's course. There's nothing particularly wrong with it, but nothing particularly right about it either. We just want different things out of life, and I don't see my feelings growing for her as I feel they should be. I think it's unfair to both parties to stay in a relationship without real, strong feelings.

 

I'm having a hard time breaking up because, you know, I don't think there's a third miracle waiting to happen down the road. I know my situation is pretty unusual, but I wanted to share it. If you were in my place, do you think you'd be struggling with the same thoughts? Or do you think I'm making a big deal out of nothing?

 

Thank you for reading this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Semiterrestrial Scientist

@viktorzokas

 

You should tell her this. See if she feels the same way. This isn’t fair to either of you. 

 

Try not not to worry about the third miracle happening. It isn’t right to want to stay with her just because she’s ace and you might not find another one. If that is really all that is holding you together then you definitely need to split. 

 

Sorry if this is harsh or not good advice. Good luck 🍀 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on the receiving end rather recently so I have a bit to say on the subject. First off, you really have to think it through to see whether this is really want you want because usually there is no turning back. Sometimes it might be the result of a hiccup/misunderstanding between each other or yourself which could be worked out. If you think this might be the case then talk about it with your partner. Have a lengthly conversation and make sure both of you guys are talking and it is not one sided. Now, that you have done that take some time to think about it by yourself, if you are certain that there is no remedy, which only you know, then you already know what you've got to do. But please be aware that there will be hurt feelings. And if possible, I know you are in an LDR, try to do it in person.

 

One of the hardest things I experienced when my relationship ended was achieving closure for a couple of reasons. First, at least on my side, I felt like the end came out of nowhere. I had just visited her, met her mother and close friends, and had an overall good weekend with her with the exception of our first misunderstanding which I talk about here. So when it ended only a few days after this it sucked. Second, during our last conversation she kept a lot quieter than usual and never really told me all that had happened for her to reach the decision. Which for me personally, I hate not knowing how/why stuff ends, one reason why I don't like cold cases. Anyway, so that threw me into a loop of what did I do wrong/could I have changed anything? Lastly, give your partner the space they need but also be there for them if they need you as they deal with it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...