Jump to content
TumultuousTimepiece

A question for sexuals regarding sexual attraction.

Recommended Posts

uhtred
17 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Someone who’s completely alibidinous would probably never want sex, agreed.

 

I thought the question was whether sexuals could be said to be attracted to the act (of sex), rather than to the person, though.  Given that people who’ve never had sex may still be certain they want it, and some people engage in sex with total strangers they may never actually even meet, it seems to me the answer is “yes” at least some of the time.

I think sex under different circumstances can mean different things to the same person.  I want sex with a partner that I love, and who desires me as I desire her.  OTOH, if I were not in a relationship, and I ran into an attractive woman with an attractive personality who just wanted sex, that would be fun too.  (or least so I think - its also possible that I would actually fall for the person). 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Neshama
On 9/18/2018 at 5:42 PM, TumultuousTimepiece said:

I'm trying to figure out whether or not i'm ace and wanted to know what your opinion is regarding this question:

 

Which are you sexually attracted to: the person or the act? Why?

I'm definitely attracted to the person. The act is what I want to do with the person, but I would be more excited about doing non-sexual things with someone hot than having sex with an ass

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MrDane

“Attraction” is a force that moves you towards something. Perhaps a “hot girl” in spandex at the gym moves my attention, diverts my eyes and probably triggers a short burst of a fantasy in my brain. “Wow, I wonder how her booty would feel in my hand, in a parallel universe?” 

My freudian ego/super-ego kicks in, and reminds me that it is not very nice to stare, unappropiate for a man of my age and a young girl. In a millisecond, I stop my drooling and turn the idea into a blop that dissappears. 

I cant say, that I am attracted to the girl, who I dont know. At that point, I am attracted to the body of a girl, I, in a parallel universe, would like to get to know physically. 

If I know someone and like them, then the shape of their body is unimportant. If the beforementioned girl seems like a terrible person, then funny enough, I also lose interest in her spandex covered booty.

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Treesarepretty
On 9/18/2018 at 5:42 PM, TumultuousTimepiece said:

I'm trying to figure out whether or not i'm ace and wanted to know what your opinion is regarding this question:

 

Which are you sexually attracted to: the person or the act? Why?

I am attracted to the person, but the act--or something close to it--is necessary for me to feel loved in a romantic way. To me, there is a Venn diagram with an intersection of friendship and lust, and the overlap area is what feels like "romance."

 

I don't know if that helps, but good luck figuring it out.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TurnedTurtle
Quote

Which are you sexually attracted to: the person or the act? Why?

In contemplating this question, I was thinking there should perhaps be a third option --  Mr. Dane alludes to it-- the physical object of a hot girl's body. This is a sub-component of the person, but in a way I see it also as a sub-component of the act, which is why I suggest it as a possible third option. There are certain physical attributes -- the shape and proportion of various body parts, her muscle tone and skin quality, the nature of her hair -- that will attract my attention and perhaps even initiate an arousal response in my body. Draw a thought bubble, over my head and it might say something like: "Hot damn! I would NOT kick her out of my bed (you know, if she were ever to sneak in to it)." But then maybe she'll turn and smile, and her teeth are rotten and half-missing, or she lights up a cigarette, or shows a bad tattoo, or something else that could be a total turn off.

 

But the body is only one aspect of the person, and real attraction -- beyond a purely visceral reaction -- the attraction that would really drive me to want to actually have sex with a woman, can only come once I get to know her more, her personality, intellect, interests, etc... The body is still important, it starts there, but the parameters that I find physically attractive may adjust to better match those of a woman with strong personal qualities who might not be a "perfect 10." Still, I think it is unlikely that I would find myself sexually attracted to someone who was obese or otherwise had physical attributes far removed from those that I tend to like. And of course, our standards can change as we age, or find ourselves in new surroundings.

 

The act itself? Well I guess I can't see how that, by itself, can be the basis of sexual attraction. Sure, I enjoy the sensations of stimulating my organ to the point of orgasm, and I can do that by myself without directly involving another person, but not without visualization of a woman's body to help initiate the necessary arousal. Fantasy can play in to it too, imagining the sensations of caressing her skin, stroking her hair, etc... But I still need the person, or at least an image of her body, to get the process started.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...