Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Hey guys. This has been on my mind a lot so I decided I want to talk about it. I am sharing my personal experience with this but feel free to pitch in your share of this if you want to! So, I live in a household that is very religious and my parents are very religious Muslims, so you can already tell where the LGBT+ community stands with them. 😐It honestly gets so tough living in this house mainly because of my sexuality! I used to think my sexuality was not my parent's business and I still do to this day, but that normally meant I never shared it with them or around them. The thing that sucked was when I finally got the courage to come out and tell them I was asexual, instead of being accepted and loved, I was literally laughed at... My parents never understood and still do not understand what it means to be asexual and always enforce this "straight agenda/stigma" on me since I am not really interested in anyone romantically or obviously sexually. Every time I try to explain to them what it means to be asexual they literally do not care and try to focus on something else; so they basically just ignore me and let everything I tell them go out of the other ear... They are very homophobic so imagine if I was any different sexuality that conflicted with their beliefs. They would literally disown me and kick me out of the house... This is why it sucks. They would feel so differently, even worse about me, and it honestly makes me so sad because I just hate living in this toxic environment. I'm honestly so glad I never followed in their footsteps in how they act and think because I am so open and very accepting towards every sexuality which makes me so happy! I love everyone in the LGBT+ community!!! ❤️I am working on moving out but like I have tried to put so much effort into mending this relationship with my parents but they just hold onto their ignorant beliefs so well, and I know I can't exactly change them, but I wish they would just be open-minded... It is so exhausting because I am dealing with so much already with my anxiety and depression and this just adds on to it. The place I spend most of my time in is a place I am not even accepted or respected. It sucks... 💔 Link to post Share on other sites
DeltaBird Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Ugh, I'm so sorry! That must be horrible. My family isn't religious at all, but my mom doesn't really "approve" of my sexuality because I think she was hoping for grand kids, and she thinks it's 'just a phase' and all that other stuff. Both she and my dad (but I'm not out to my dad yet) are the kinds of people who support the LGBTQ community but don't want their kids to be in it... Anyway, I wish you luck improving your relationship with your parents, and I hope you feel accepted and loved here! ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Author Share Posted September 18, 2018 8 minutes ago, DeltaBird said: Ugh, I'm so sorry! That must be horrible. My family isn't religious at all, but my mom doesn't really "approve" of my sexuality because I think she was hoping for grand kids, and she thinks it's 'just a phase' and all that other stuff. Both she and my dad (but I'm not out to my dad yet) are the kinds of people who support the LGBTQ community but don't want their kids to be in it... Anyway, I wish you luck improving your relationship with your parents, and I hope you feel accepted and loved here! ❤️ Thank you for replying!! ❤️ Honestly I feel so welcomed here Same with my parents btw!! They think I am just going through a phase... 😕 Honestly, I don't know if our relationship would ever get better because I am the only one putting effort into it... They literally do not care which sucks so much... But that's mainly why I am hoping to move out soon. Gotta keep myself around people who love me for who I am Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Falco Peregrinus Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 There's a reason that I'm not out to my parents... Best of luck to you - I hope you can find a way to mend this relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Author Share Posted September 18, 2018 29 minutes ago, Falco Peregrinus said: There's a reason that I'm not out to my parents... Best of luck to you - I hope you can find a way to mend this relationship! Thank you so much!! Parents for some reason never understand unless they actually care to have an open mind... It sucks but what can we honestly do? 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 As you probably know, they're probably very ignorant about this stuff. They're probably scared of it because it threatens and challenges what they know. They may think they're living a righteous life, but, in my honest opinion, YOU are the one living the more righteous life! If only your parents could see their errors and turn to you for spiritual guidance! That would warm my heart! Maybe this will help: This motivational video really has a lot of wise words packed into it. Go ahead! Give it a look! Link to post Share on other sites
ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 1 hour ago, DeltaBird said: Both she and my dad (but I'm not out to my dad yet) are the kinds of people who support the LGBTQ community but don't want their kids to be in it... Just a thought: If the say they support LGBT+, but don't want their kids in it, do they really support the community or are they trying to put on a façade to make themselves look good? (That's Arrogance, an aspect of the Snake of Leviathan, according to the Sapphire Tablets) Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Author Share Posted September 18, 2018 @The Angel of Eternity Honestly I hope they do change one day... For the better. They can keep all their beliefs and everything but all I want them to do is respect people of different sexualities and it sucks that they do not.. 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 You won't change some people, they're certain they're right and will only try to drag you down with them. Accept it, be strong and stick with trying to move out asap. Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Author Share Posted September 18, 2018 2 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said: You won't change some people, they're certain they're right and will only try to drag you down with them. Accept it, be strong and stick with trying to move out asap. Thank you!! ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Madao Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 I am sorry that your parents are narrow-minded. Stay strong Omar! Such things are bound to happen. I myself come from a strict Hindu family. My father doesn't really support LGBTQ and I know he and his friends make degrading jokes about it. My mother outright said she hates the community. I also came out once, and well, like you I was treated as a joke. I accidentally came out the second time, and my parents called me mad and got angry. But don't let anyone suppress your feelings! I get how hard it must be to be in a strict Muslim family. But the new generation is changing, so maybe you will get more support in future Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Author Share Posted September 18, 2018 @Madao Wow! Thank you so much!!! Hoping that things change too in the future! Tired of this anti LGBT+ agenda! <33 Link to post Share on other sites
An_Ace_Of_Hearts Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 That's just terrible ;-; I can kind of relate. My parents are Christian and working to become pastors. They think anyone in the LGBT+ community is wrong for "thinking the way they do" and it just sucks. I've sorta slipped hints that I'm asexual, if that makes sense, and I've gotten negative/doubtful reactions from them. It hurts but I can't really do much about it. It's part of the reason I'm thankful for this site because I don't feel so alone and shoved away. I hope things get better for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 10 hours ago, An_Ace_Of_Hearts said: That's just terrible ;-; I can kind of relate. My parents are Christian and working to become pastors. They think anyone in the LGBT+ community is wrong for "thinking the way they do" and it just sucks. I've sorta slipped hints that I'm asexual, if that makes sense, and I've gotten negative/doubtful reactions from them. It hurts but I can't really do much about it. It's part of the reason I'm thankful for this site because I don't feel so alone and shoved away. I hope things get better for you! I've been raised in a Catholic family as well and had to hide my true orientation for almost my whole life until I finally deided to come out in 2003 with very mixed results. It was quite hard at first but I don't mind anymore these days. It's my life. @Omarr It can be very complicated indeded when living with your parents I'm very sorry about your situation *hugs* Stay strong! It's gonna be ok! You're not alone! Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Author Share Posted September 18, 2018 6 hours ago, An_Ace_Of_Hearts said: That's just terrible ;-; I can kind of relate. My parents are Christian and working to become pastors. They think anyone in the LGBT+ community is wrong for "thinking the way they do" and it just sucks. I've sorta slipped hints that I'm asexual, if that makes sense, and I've gotten negative/doubtful reactions from them. It hurts but I can't really do much about it. It's part of the reason I'm thankful for this site because I don't feel so alone and shoved away. I hope things get better for you! RIGHT!! Honestly, I have friends that are in the LGBT+ community, but no one really that is asexual or even aromantic asexual so, this site has really helped to have people that relate to me. Parents are the worst when they are close-minded ugh!! 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 18, 2018 Author Share Posted September 18, 2018 6 hours ago, Deus Ex Infinity said: I've been raised in a Catholic family as well and had to hide my true orientation for almost my whole life until I finally deided to come out in 2003 with very mixed results. It was quite hard at first fbut I don't mind anymore these days. It's my life. @Omarr It can be very complicated indeded when living with your parents I'm very sorry about your situation *hugs* Stay strong! It's gonna be ok! You're not alone! Thank you so much!! ❤️ It's honestly been such a hard battle living here but I'm doing my best! That's all any of us do! ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Karoushi Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Aw man, this sounds a lot like my parents, expect they're Christians. I knew that they would react that way if I ever came out to them so I just didn't. And I used to think it's none of their business, I still kinda do. But I feel like it's going to get harder to avoid that conversation when everyone is getting older. I'm the oldest yet the only one out of all of my siblings that hasn't dated anyone (although they would probably attribute that to my personality moreso than sexuality so idk), and the dating and marriage questions will start popping up. My dad, in particular always talks about casually how he would disown his son if he ended up being a f*g, which really turns me off from talking to him about anything LGBT related even though he said I could always talk to him. Best of luck trying to move out though!! Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 19, 2018 Author Share Posted September 19, 2018 1 hour ago, Karoushi said: Aw man, this sounds a lot like my parents, expect they're Christians. I knew that they would react that way if I ever came out to them so I just didn't. And I used to think it's none of their business, I still kinda do. But I feel like it's going to get harder to avoid that conversation when everyone is getting older. I'm the oldest yet the only one out of all of my siblings that hasn't dated anyone (although they would probably attribute that to my personality moreso than sexuality so idk), and the dating and marriage questions will start popping up. My dad, in particular always talks about casually how he would disown his son if he ended up being a f*g, which really turns me off from talking to him about anything LGBT related even though he said I could always talk to him. Best of luck trying to move out though!! Thank you!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with close-minded parents too... 😕 Thank god this community exists though!! It feels good having people to relate to. ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 4 hours ago, Omarr said: Thank you so much!! ❤️ It's honestly been such a hard battle living here but I'm doing my best! That's all any of us do! ❤️ That's the spirit!!! 💪 👍 Link to post Share on other sites
ZinxtheJinx Posted September 24, 2018 Share Posted September 24, 2018 I am also from a Muslim background but I´m not out to my parents for obvious reasons. I did hint that I may never bear them grandkids and even asked my mom if I could stay single but it turned into a speech about how humans were created and that their natural instincts is to be with another human and have children and all that other wonderful stuff. But stay strong Omar, I mean Muslim parents are more leniet with the boys so maybe you can move out once you´re financially stable and hopefully your parents will understand you. (I doubt it but since its asexuality, there´s a chance.) Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 24, 2018 Author Share Posted September 24, 2018 27 minutes ago, ZinxtheJinx said: I am also from a Muslim background but I´m not out to my parents for obvious reasons. I did hint that I may never bear them grandkids and even asked my mom if I could stay single but it turned into a speech about how humans were created and that their natural instincts is to be with another human and have children and all that other wonderful stuff. But stay strong Omar, I mean Muslim parents are more leniet with the boys so maybe you can move out once you´re financially stable and hopefully your parents will understand you. (I doubt it but since its asexuality, there´s a chance.) Thank you so much! Trying my best. It's terrible being in a house where my sexuality isn't accepted but I'm hoping to move out soon. Wishing you the best too... ❤️ If you ever need to talk I'm always here. Link to post Share on other sites
ZinxtheJinx Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 27 minutes ago, Omarr said: Thank you so much! Trying my best. It's terrible being in a house where my sexuality isn't accepted but I'm hoping to move out soon. Wishing you the best too... ❤️ If you ever need to talk I'm always here. Yeah, although you´re more brave since you actually came out, It´s not like we´re gay🙄 (No offence to any lgbt group)but oh well. We can talk although it´s kinda inappropiate since we are muslims but since we´re ace and you don´t seem to be that older than me, so I guess it´s okay. So feel free to pm me my muslim brother or on the group chat.🙂 Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 13 minutes ago, ZinxtheJinx said: Yeah, although you´re more brave since you actually came out, It´s not like we´re gay🙄 (No offence to any lgbt group)but oh well. We can talk although it´s kinda inappropiate since we are muslims but since we´re ace and you don´t seem to be that older than me, so I guess it´s okay. So feel free to pm me my muslim brother or on the group chat.🙂 What sucks is I hate how homophobic my parents are too... Like I love and accept everyone in the lgbt+ community and wish my parents would at least respect them since we are literally a part of the community but instead they are just so ignorant... Being ace is so hard with religious parents 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 You dilemma sounds terrible! Although I cannot directly relate, my parents are accepting, my grandparents are hyper-conservative Christians with very much the same mindset. Which is one reason I am not out to them and never will be. And although they do not know they continually take it upon themselves to pound into me their viewpoints. I am so glad my parents did not inherit the same closed-mindset that my grandparents have. I suffer through that every holiday but could not imagine what it would be like every single day as you must go through. I hope that it all works out eventually for you and for anyone else suffering from similar situations. Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 26 minutes ago, Aebt said: You dilemma sounds terrible! Although I cannot directly relate, my parents are accepting, my grandparents are hyper-conservative Christians with very much the same mindset. Which is one reason I am not out to them and never will be. And although they do not know they continually take it upon themselves to pound into me their viewpoints. I am so glad my parents did not inherit the same closed-mindset that my grandparents have. I suffer through that every holiday but could not imagine what it would be like every single day as you must go through. I hope that it all works out eventually for you and for anyone else suffering from similar situations. Thank you so much!! ❤️ I am so happy for you! Thank goodness you have supportive parents. It sucks that your grandparents aren't supportive but I'm glad you don't have to be around that negative energy all the time. Same honestly, I hope everyone dealing with the unfortunate circumstance of people unsupportive of their sexuality make it out as soon as possible. We all deserve to be in an environment where we are loved and accepted for who we are... ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
ZinxtheJinx Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 47 minutes ago, Omarr said: What sucks is I hate how homophobic my parents are too... Like I love and accept everyone in the lgbt+ community and wish my parents would at least respect them since we are literally a part of the community but instead they are just so ignorant... Being ace is so hard with religious parents 😕 The struggle is real and will only increase as we get older. Link to post Share on other sites
ZinxtheJinx Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Btw Omar, are you arab or asian (ie Pakistani, indian, etc)? Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 31 minutes ago, ZinxtheJinx said: Btw Omar, are you arab or asian (ie Pakistani, indian, etc)? I'm Arab (Middle Eastern) Link to post Share on other sites
ZinxtheJinx Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 7 hours ago, Omarr said: I'm Arab (Middle Eastern) Cool, I´ve been trying to find arabs to talk to. This site is vast with many different people yet you´re the first active arab I´ve met. Link to post Share on other sites
Omar. Posted September 25, 2018 Author Share Posted September 25, 2018 15 minutes ago, ZinxtheJinx said: Cool, I´ve been trying to find arabs to talk to. This site is vast with many different people yet you´re the first active arab I´ve met. That's cool 😂 What about you? Are you arab? Link to post Share on other sites
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