Coddiwomple

I've never felt sexual attraction but I don't think I'm ace

Recommended Posts

Coddiwomple

I've never felt sexual attraction and I doubt I will for a while, but I don't think I'm asexual, because I don't relate to any of the "signs" correlated with being ace. I know the signs don't hold true for everyone, but my experiences don't align at all with any asexual person's, that I've met. I think I could definitely be sexually attracted to a woman and desire sex in the future, but probably not a man. However, I feel weird identifying as homosexual if I've never felt sexual attraction. Also, I could just be a late bloomer, which is the other thing I'm not sure about. Help?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MichaelTannock

Maybe you're Homo-Demisexual then?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Coddiwomple
1 minute ago, MichaelTannock said:

Maybe you're Homo-Demisexual then?

Yeah maybe, I've definitely considered that and homo-graysexual. Again, though, I feel like I'm faking it or something if I identify as something that I don't have any evidence for that's basically just a guess.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TheAP

You don't have to identify as asexual if it's not helpful to you. Just give it time and see how and if your feelings develop.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SilentRose

First thing: you don't have to identify as anything you don't want to. Labels should make you feel comfortable in your identity, so if it feels wrong instead of comforting, you don't have to use it just because the internet says so!

 

Also, I'm curious...you say you don't identify with the signs of asexuality...im curious what those signs are? The big sign to me is not desiring partnered sex...the rest are just details.

 

Its definitely possible you could be a late bloomer, so you don't have to define yourself now if you don't want to. The good thing about labels is that you choose what makes you comfortable and feels right, and you can always change your mind :) labels are pointless truthfully ...the only purpose they serve is to make you feel secure in your identity. So if you're not yet certain about your sexual identity, feel free to not worry about labels at all, explore if you'd like, and see what happens :)

 

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza

I agree, what "signs"? There's only one thing required for asexuality, not desiring sex.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ashes of the phoenix

I've personally never been sure of my orientation and I've identified every which way. I just am not sure of what I am, and any feelings I have don't last so I doubt them. It's kinda disappointing, but I've gotten used to it. I think, that identity is not necessary for you to be you, y'know? it helps to know oneself, but sometimes it's not easy to find oneself. When I finally settle into a relationship, then I'll really know, but until then I really don't know for sure. And that's okay!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Philip027

I don't think people are required to have experienced attraction to a specific somebody before they can identify that way.  Many people just know they are straight, gay, whatever before that.

 

2 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

I think I could definitely be sexually attracted to a woman and desire sex in the future, but probably not a man.

Then purely by this statement, I wouldn't see the big deal with calling yourself homosexual.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
All The Thoughts

There’s nothing wrong with choosing to stay away from labeling yourself as an asexual. If you think it suits you and makes you feel more comfortable then feel free to use it. If it does the opposite or just doesn’t feel right then there’s nothing wrong with choosing to describe yourself as something else. Labels are only really there to give you words to how you’re feeling about something so if it’s not you then there’s no need to use it. I’d say take on whatever title you want—whether that be homosexual or something else—and if you find somewhere down the line that you truly were a late bloomer or the label no longer fits you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with changing it. It doesn’t make what you currently feel any less significant. Some people know from an early age while others take many, many years to finally figure it out; there is no true correct feeling because everyone can feel it differently. I wish you the best of luck!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Coddiwomple
2 hours ago, SilentRose said:

Also, I'm curious...you say you don't identify with the signs of asexuality...im curious what those signs are? The big sign to me is not desiring partnered sex...the rest are just details.

 

2 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I agree, what "signs"? There's only one thing required for asexuality, not desiring sex.

http://www.asexualityarchive.com/possible-signs-of-asexuality-part-1-about-you/ These, and everything that comes up when you Google "signs you're asexual".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SilentRose

@Coddiwomple

I see how that could be confusing, but remember that Asexuality is a broad spectrum and no one has the exact same experience with it. Those signs are just possibilities that a lot of us do feel, but it certainly isn't true for all Asexuals. I don't identify with a lot on that list either. I think about sex, and I understand it, and I find people attractive. But i don't desire partnered sex, so none of those other details even matter. I think about sex but I don't desire it, and so I'm asexual.

 

I also identify with a lot of the experience of autochorisexuals that I've read about, and I think a lot of the signs on that list don't necessarily apply to us.

 

There's so many minor details to get caught up in and i urge you to avoid going down that rabbit hole of obsessing over every tiny aspect of your sexuality. Asexuality is not desiring partnered sex, period. How often you think about sex is irrelevant if you don't want to actually have sex.

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now