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I am not sure if I am asexual

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Hi guys,

So I would start. I am 17 y/o. I never felt the wish to masturbate. like ever. But I did have fantasies about girls, and even had some sexual experiences with girls. It all started 4 months ago. I kissed a girl and touched her butt, I got erection and then afterwards had the feeling to masturbate and I succeded the first time to do so after 16.5 years, but I didn't really enjoy it, I don't know if it was because of her, or just me. She is typically not my type. It was all pretty decent, but afterwards I started to feel less desire to have sexual experiences, But I still had the desire. 1 month ago I flew to "Ayia Napa" a place of parties and girls and such, we were going to a gentelmen club and I had a private dance. She was really violent, I was so tired and didnt get erection, though she was realllyyy hot. like very. she touched my dick in a very violent way, i remeber myself sitting there doing nothing, waiting for it to get over. just so my friends won't think I am a gay, though I am gay friendly and even suspected I am one, until I realized I am asexual and romantically attracted to women. 

so, since Ayia Napa I feel 0 desire to sexual experiences like nothing at all. I have no erection. I dont think about girls at all in a sexual manner, but I do romantically attracted to a girl I know, which is very pretty as well, but I cant imagine us doing sex things, only sitting, talking, sharing feelings. I did have a crush on her includes both sexually and romantically attracted to her 1 year ago, and now only romantically.

Do you think It is because I have a sexual trauma due what happent at Napa and the girl I kissed 4 months ago ? because both were not such a nice situations. I realized it just now after thinking about it deeply.

So, I have some questionts for you:

All the asexual ppl, you felt it on a one day like me, or it was a process for you.

Secondly, Did you have fantasies about girls that you wanted to execute, and when you did them you found out it wasnt that fun

and last it, do you think I have a sexual trauma or I am asexual. 

Because for my whole life until 4 months ago I had strong fantasies and sexual desire.

 

I would be very grateful for any kind of help because 4 months ago I had really strong erections and sexual fantasies, Now I have nothing ://

 

Important note: 

I do get from a time to time erections at mornings and suddenly just like that, but not from sexually thinkings.

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Cheshire-Cat

I could be some sort of sexual trauma as it would seem a bit odd to have gone from having erections to not having any at all. 

 

However, of you didn't have much sexual desire before you could also be asexual, or similar, and this has been compounded.

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9 minutes ago, Cheshire-Cat said:

I could be some sort of sexual trauma as it would seem a bit odd to have gone from having erections to not having any at all. 

 

However, of you didn't have much sexual desire before you could also be asexual, or similar, and this has been compounded.

Hi,

Thank you for answering I do appreciate that. Before I did have erections from sexually fantasies, and morning erections. now I have only morning erections. asexual its a think that develops? because half year ago I was very horny, now I am not at all...

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Cheshire-Cat
12 minutes ago, Highlight said:

Hi,

Thank you for answering I do appreciate that. Before I did have erections from sexually fantasies, and morning erections. now I have only morning erections. asexual its a think that develops? because half year ago I was very horny, now I am not at all...

Generally it doesn't develop. It tends to be how someone has always felt. But it could be as your hormones settle down that that's why you're also losing desire. Or it could be you've lost desire through sexual trauma. I believe sexuality is a bit fluid and can change to some extent though not everyone on here does.

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4 minutes ago, Cheshire-Cat said:

Generally it doesn't develop. It tends to be how someone has always felt. But it could be as your hormones settle down that that's why you're also losing desire. Or it could be you've lost desire through sexual trauma. I believe sexuality is a bit fluid and can change to some extent though not everyone on here does.

Maybe, I would go check that out. Thank you

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Schnee.
12 hours ago, Highlight said:

Do you think It is because I have a sexual trauma due what happent at Napa and the girl I kissed 4 months ago ? because both were not such a nice situations. I realized it just now after thinking about it deeply.

That's hard to tell. Do you feel traumatized? Though it doesn't seem like much has changed from before you had these experiences. And it's also not unusual for asexuals to have sexual experiences when they're younger, because they are curious, feel pressured into it, etc. 

I also grew up with similar experiences, but I forced myself to "like" them. I was never sex repulsed and attracted to girls, so it was all very confusing, and I also responded "well" to physical stimuli from girls, so that didn't help at all. 

Maybe just think about the things that happened and try to write down, how you felt and why you think you felt that way. (Including other sexual encounters you had.) And once you've written them down, try to look at your notes as if someone else would have written them and then think about how you would describe that person. As asexual? Sexual? Low libido? 

It might help, since you get a little distance from your feelings, which can be helpful, since they can make it very complicated, as well all know. 😂

If you feel like you changed considerably and that you felt sexual attraction before, you might want to go to a doctor and talk with him about it. 

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