[ace cis-females] Thoughts on "Alpha male" type guys?

[ryn2]

2 minutes ago, CBC said:

Lol. I would think what they're doing physically would be easier to figure out than what's going through their heads. Honestly that's ridiculous. If you've never had sex or even desired to have sex, I have no clue how you could know more than a minimal amount in regards to anyone's psychology surrounding it.

I’ve had sex literally thousands of times and would still not presume to know what goes through the minds of women more sexual than me when they do it.

 

[Ceebs]

1 minute ago, ryn2 said:

I’ve had sex literally thousands of times and would still not presume to know what goes through the minds of women more sexual than me when they do it.

 

That's fair enough and probably to be expected if one is asexual or somewhere in that realm of things, yeah. Which makes it even more far-fetched that a completely inexperienced asexual person like mreid would know much at all on the topic.

[ryn2]

14 minutes ago, mreid said:

They are not *really* bossy and aggressive, it's a facade.

I know women who behave this way (for a variety of reasons, but the culture where I live is not matriarchal at all so those reasons may not overlap the ones you’ve seen).  I also know women who are genuinely take-charge and aggressive.

[Ceebs]

Just now, mreid said:

If I were you I would go back to that other thread where you shared your dream about Pink, think really hard about that dream, and once you figure out what it really means then come lecture me on how psychoanalysis has no credibility and how I couldn't possibly know what goes on through people's heads in sex-related matters.

I assume this is a joke? It has to be? I was being silly when I even mentioned it, presuming that nothing could be construed as anything other than a jumble of random meaningless things that pass through my brain during waking hours. But please, if it actually has a deeper interpretation, believe me, I'd be thrilled to hear it.  

[Ceebs]

7 minutes ago, mreid said:

Nah, I will leave you to it. I can give you a little clue though. Why would the two of you be toasting with a non-alcoholic drink? You figure out the rest.

I'm fairly certain that I've more compelling things to occupy my mind with, but last I heard from you on the matter, I apparently need a man. Such a shame I'm not the Tinder hookup sort... maybe I could find myself a nice alpha on there. 

[Ceebs]

Yes I was joking, I was making reference to the fact that you interpret everything as some sort of indicator of hidden sexual desires. 

[Prufrock, but like, worse]

16 minutes ago, mreid said:

Yes, I believe so. They are not *really* bossy and aggressive, it's a facade. I'm not 100% sure why they do it, but they seem to do it the most with men they consider "inferior". Probably as a way of staying faithful in a sense to their alpha male types, although this is just an hypothesis.

I've interacted with a number of men of varying levels of "jockishness." Not a single one of them came across as wanting to be domineering nor did they act domineering towards others. And most of them have had successful relationships.

 

This leads me to conclude that the reason you see men act domineering is they've been told that this is how to get laid, so I don't know why you're repeating this talking point that is already reinforced everywhere if the goal isn't to get men to act this way.

 

18 minutes ago, mreid said:

My country's culture consists on remnants of its older culture but now it's mostly imported from the US and northern european countries, namely socialist ones. It's regular western culture save from some small towns.

"Regular western culture" is... sort of a dog whistle. I'm not saying you're using it in that way, but that maybe you should consider your sources of cultural analysis. I will admit I once fell prey to "girls only go for assholes" thinking, but that's more reinforced by entertainment than reality. I would also say that your female relatives growing up under fascism will absolutely swing them closer to wanting "alphas" than average.

[RoseGoesToYale]

I have yet to meet an alpha-male. I've lived a very gender-fuck kind of life... most of my experiences with alpha-ness have been females. It's the women that do the shouting. It's the women that discipline and dominate the relationships. It's the women who ask out and get turned down or accepted. And all the decisions have always had to be okayed with the woman first. I'm not even sure I could pick an alpha male out of a lineup...

[Ceebs]

6 minutes ago, mreid said:

Freud believed jokes let out repressed feelings of the subconscious.

You know, I'll give you that one in a general sense for sure.

[Telecaster68]

Freud believed many things, very often with little evidence. 

[Ceebs]

Much like mreid.

[TheAP]

Please be respectful and focus on the argument and not on specific posters.

 

TheAP

Questions about Asexuality mod

[Madao]

On 9/13/2018 at 10:20 AM, mreid said:

My questions:

1. How do you feel about them?

2. Experiences with them?

3. How do you feel about the idea of being "taken care of" by such types, and playing a passive, stereotypically feminine role?

4. Do you think you might be a bit masculine personality-wise?

1) I hate such men. I already had some bad side of men in general, and dominating ones irritate me even more. I hate people who want to make others act according to what they want in general. 

2) My dad is somewhat dominating, and well, I don't get along well with him at times. Sparks tend to fly. Other than that, I rarely interact with men.  

3) I can never be passive. Except when I am ill or on period. 

4) I don't look masculine, but yeah, I am pretty unfeminine, not particularly masculine. I tend to focus more on studying and spending time in my own world. 

[IronHamster]

There is a difference between confidence and cockiness.  Confidence is attractive as a human trait.  Cockiness is not.  Pussies trying to play the alpha male role cannot tell the difference.  

[Tunes]

On ‎9‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 11:15 AM, mreid said:

Why is everyone trying to act naive like the things I have described are not common things of human nature? Culture can't completely change human nature. If anything it can only restrain it to a degree. Anyone who's willing to be honest can see clearly that what I am saying is not that unbelievable and is far from being exclusive to some semi-obscure little european country.

I am willing to be completely honest.

 

Out of all the allosexual women I know, only one of them has gone after the "alfa-male" type, and she is one of the two most "masculine" females I know.

 

When people tell me that I haven't found the right guy, they usually are specifically vague about any particular type, and when they aren't, they specifically mention guys that are sensitive and would presumably be "more gentle" in bed - so definitely not an alpha male type (and the only people that specify are also people who know me better).

 

I am very feminine and tend to prefer guys that are more sensitive and just generally more empathetic and caring - the alpha male types often make me roll my eyes and get as far away from them as possible.

 

People who appear androgynous attract my attention far more than people who fall into either stereotype, masculine or feminine.

 

Stereotypes are not indicative of human nature. Cultural norms are not indicative of human nature. Human nature is much more varied and complex.

 

Your experiences cannot speak for everyone else. And just because something is more common around you does not mean that it is more common everywhere or that everyone who has different experiences is lying or acting naïve. You are just being intolerant.

 

It's not a real experiment or real research if you only consider the things that support your point and match your personal experiences. The best way to test a theory is to try to disprove it - if you can, then the theory obviously does not hold up, and if you can't, then you might be onto something. The way you are going about gathering research is the definition of biased findings. But don't mind me - I only graduated with a degree in philosophy, which btw is the study of knowledge and the basis that started all scientific thought. It's not like I would know how to avoid bias in a scientific study. I only spent my entire college experience on it. So feel free to ignore and argue against my input as well. No big.

 

On ‎9‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 11:42 AM, mreid said:

Nah, I will leave you to it. I can give you a little clue though. Why would the two of you be toasting with a non-alcoholic drink? You figure out the rest.

Wow. And out of everything that you could have focused on, you chose the fact that the beverages were non-alcoholic? Just off the top of my head, I can think of four reasons that this might be, and not a single one of them relates to anything in this thread. (In my case, it would probably be the fact that I don't enjoy the taste of alcohol, so it would be much more fun toasting at an event that did not include alcohol. But that's just me. :P)

 

 

On ‎9‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 12:26 PM, mreid said:

Freud believed jokes let out repressed feelings of the subconscious.

Freud also believed that we all grow up hating the parent that shares our gender because we are born sexually attracted to the parent of the opposite gender and are jealous of the one that shares our gender because they can have sex with our other parent and we cannot. Also, most of the accurate stuff that Freud popularized was stuff that he stole from someone else. So, I'd be careful running around justifying your comments with what Freud believed...

[Telecaster68]

2 minutes ago, mreid said:

Your philosophy degree apparently didn't teach you what a strawman argument and an ad hominem are.

Whereas you obviously know you just deployed both in that sentence...

[Ceebs]

Wait, are we still seriously discussing that random dream? Wtf. I could tell you a half dozen other dreams I've had since then, equally as inconsequential. Christ.

[Ceebs]

Again, joking. Wasn't offering. I'm baffled as to why it went beyond a singular post.

[Salmiakki]

I'm kinda confused about what alpha males actually even are tbh... but it sounds like a great fantasy 😋

[Ceebs]

8 minutes ago, Salmiakki said:

I'm kinda confused about what alpha males actually even are tbh

Macho self-important assholes who think they're god's gift to women, as far as I'm aware.

[Telecaster68]

They're an old slightly random concept going back to the 60s - kind of a very traditional, quite American, version of 'manliness'. Very popular at one time but not much evidence to back up a lot of claims that were made at the time. However the Red Pill twats have adopted them as an idealised version of what they think women want.

[Salmiakki]

Haha... actually now I remember that I once did a test for fun that tried to guess my gender, the result said alpha male, lmao

[Telecaster68]

Eh? It's factually true. They have adopted the alpha and beta male crap.

[Ceebs]

2 minutes ago, mreid said:

Just when I thought you were making some progress... *sigh*

Progress with...?

[Telecaster68]

My re-education.

[Telecaster68]

I know real women, so I don't have to rely on the edited vox pop of someone with an agenda.

[Ceebs]

Well that guy sure has a chip on his shoulder.

[ryn2]

Maybe I’m just lucky in terms of the people I interact with regularly but I don’t get the impression all men aspire to be redpillers.

[Ceebs]

I truly do not know any, on a personal level, who do. I've probably interacted with men before who are dickheads, but I have zero experience with family, friends or partners who are of that mindset. But then I generally surround myself with decent people regardless of gender, so. I can't say I know many girls and women who behave like the more obnoxious ones I've heard about either.

[ryn2]

I know some (I work in a very conservative setting, and my partner’s avocation is currently set in an even more conservative, right-wing environment) but they’re far from a majority even then.