How do you respond when someone asks you why you don't have boyfriend/girlfriend?

[Shay21]

1: "I just haven't found the right one yet." or "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now." (if that's the truth, of course)

2: "Because I'm not insecure enough to the point where I always need to be in a relationship, I don't need someone/rely on someone to be happy."

[AspieAlly613]

"I haven't found any of the right people yet."  I may add in that I don't believe there is only one person in the world with whom I'm compatible.  Depending on the context, I may mention that I've never felt romantic attraction.  In rare cases, people are nosy enough that this leads to a discussion of what does/doesn't constitute romantic attraction.  On one occasion, I had the opportunity to point out that the assumption that sexual attraction was a necessary condition for romance was not consistent with reality, but thought it best to take the polite route and not bring that up.  Another conversation turned into "Let's try to get AspieAlly613 to do things the way we do for the sake of conformity."  There, I and one ally were refuting the arguments of around 5 nay-sayers who were trying to convince me to start a romantic partnership in the absence of romantic attraction.  I considered the "nuclear option" of snapping at the most vocal one "With your attitude, no wonder you're divorced," but decided that because their nonsense wasn't causing me any harm, there was no need for such an impolite move.

[œddy]

On 9/26/2018 at 8:51 PM, SeeCeCerun said:

2. I'm a Non Playing Character

Actual LOL at that one, that is perfect and I'm stealing it

[RenalWaldo]

“It would interfere with my training.  I must grow stronger.  A true warrior must focus everything on the next battle.”

 

 

Then, just start punching a waterfall.

[HurricaneKitty]

"not interested in wasting time with romance yet"

[Zebrafinch]

"Men are more trouble than they're worth" is my line. Most people can understand that on some level. 

[œddy]

1 hour ago, Zebrafinch said:

"Men are more trouble than they're worth" is my line. Most people can understand that on some level. 

Maybe a bit on the misandry side though .. there are enough sexual men who know what toxic masculinity is as well

[Joe the Stoic]

People don't usually ask me about this, truthfully.

[hopeisnotlost]

On ‎9‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 7:12 AM, Ortac said:

I have a question which is aimed primarily towards single aces. If someone asks you why you do not have a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or whatever, what do you say?

 

There are two parts to this question:

• what would you say when the person is asking respectfully and it is a sincere question being asked out of genuine curiosity?

• and what would you say when it is asked in a derogatory or snide manner or in any way which has a disrespectful undertone?

 

I am hoping for some good ideas which will be useful for me and anyone else who finds it difficult to answer that question. Thanks! 

In the first on I  would tell them that I don't have one because I don't want one.In the second one I would ignore it. 

[œddy]

1 hour ago, hopeisnotlost said:

In the first on I  would tell them that I don't have one because I don't want one.In the second one I would ignore it. 

I specifically answered this recently that I'm single and want to stay that way, which turns out is a way to get many, many more questions!

I'm happy to open up to random strangers though, no pressure

[hopeisnotlost]

Just now, œddy said:

I specifically answered this recently that I'm single and want to stay that way, which turns out is a way to get many, many more questions!

I'm happy to open up to random strangers though, no pressure

I love questions...

[œddy]

3 hours ago, hopeisnotlost said:

I love questions...

What do you love about questions? 

[hopeisnotlost]

12 hours ago, œddy said:

What do you love about questions? 

I don't know I just like answering them in such a way it annoys the asker

[Karoushi]

Ahh I usually get this question from parents or family friends every once in a while. Their kids got their first partners around my age (early twenties) so I guess they're waiting for me to be next? If they're being genuine about it, I'll just say I'm not interested in dating. And those who would ask me in an insulting manner, I don't waste my time giving them an answer. I'm not out to any of them though sooo. 

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

I usually say I'm not in need of one!😆

[Roithugaia]

To the mean question, just say "Have you met some of these assholes?" And just gesture in their general direction.

[Dreamer23]

"Dating is just not one of my priorities right now." (Just got this asked this week, so definitely comes up every now and then)

I'd likely answer with the above in both situations in a polite manner.

 

If I'm in a really bad mood, I might give it a disrespectful sub-tone in return in situation two, in a kind of "Oh how cute, you're in a relationship, like 90% of the population. Did you actually achieve anything relevant in life as well, or is that all you've done so far?" way.

[ColeHW34]

“Because relationships aren't a concern until I do what needs to be done”

[Éadweard]

I ask them why it bothers them so much. 

[infinityandbeyond]

Never been asked in a derogatory way although I'm not very good at picking up on subtle inflections in language, body language etc....

 

When someone asks I used to just say I preferred being single but now I just say I'm asexual.  Actually opens the conversation up to more questions which I don't mind answering, being the outgoing type that I am

[oldgeeza]

The first answer is easy, the job I do, the hours, time spent away from home, it would be unfair on any relationship, if asked in a derogatory manner, that's easy too, because I'm ugly, impotent (that normally causes embarrassment, especially when spoken in a normal tone that can be heard by others), have no interest in sex and totally unsuccessful in relationships

[Zinerva]

To most people I say I'm too busy. Or that I enjoy being alone and enjoy having no restraints (and the entire bed to myself).

To doctors / other medical professionals I might say that I need to sort my own head out before getting other people involved (which is obviously a lie). They seem to take this much better than saying that I don't feel like it or that I'm asexual or whatever.

[Guest]

I usually ask if they're offering to become mine. It hasn't gone wrong yet.

[LonesomeCrow]

I say that I'm too busy for one, which is in part true because I do work two jobs and whatever free time I get I like to spend at home or doing things I need to get done.

[Strifed]

I used to say, "Because I don't want one" but that didn't go over well with people and they kept convincing me that I need one. Now I just tell them I'm busy with work and personal projects, and don't have time for dating. I might add a, "Why does it matter to you so much? Mind your own business" if they were asking in a rude way and I was in a mood, but I usually just walk away from things.

[SeeYa]

I like to go for something along the lines of "I am just saving someone from the horror of dating me", it normally works since most people who ask me know me and also know my a-social tendencies 😃 

[abandoned-account]

None 'o yo bizz, foo.

 

In all seriousness though I'm glad no one really asks me, only my father and grandfather bring it up on occasion but I just try to avoid the subject altogether because I don't trust them to understand if I was honest.

 

As others have said, I don't want to bother going out of my way for one and would only consider getting with someone if I already had a connection with them and really liked them. Otherwise I don't see it worth the time, effort, and especially the risk.

 

Even if I'm alone, I think that's better than being in bad company.

[Guest]

"Cooties"

[DuskFire]

What I say "haven't found anyone"

What I think " will you leave me the fuck alone damnit!"

[Guest]

How about just laugh awkwardly and then quickly change the subject? 😅