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Virginity and the hymen


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Anthracite_Impreza
2 hours ago, FictoVore. said:

There is probably research out there on it but I'm trying to clean my kitchen and don't want to get distracted researching hymens!

That is such a you-problem.

 

@Roidgy That is so horrifying I can't even quote it *goes to throw up and faint*

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everywhere and nowhere
8 hours ago, RK800 said:

It is important that in AFAB people the hymen erodes for many reasons. Mine was gone early from doing contortion stuff like splits. :P

And I have never ever been able to do splits or even bends with fingertips touching the ground. This is how it feels to be not really physically disabled and yet a whole lot less fit than almost everyone around you...

It really sucks to realise that you're less fit than even your grandfather... Now it's not true anymore because he died, but really, he was still riding a bike a few years before. Well, I can ride a bike, OK, but I have, for example, never been able to run more than 300 meters without stopping or at the very least slowing down to a walk.

 

As I said, everything seems to indicate that my vaginal corona is still there. I'm gyno-T.E.R.R.I.F.I.E.D., I'd rather die than undergo such an examination - or rather, I literally feel that I would die if I underwent it. But I have checked myself and when I put a finger there, it hurts and I can feel a thick fold of tissue around my finger. Probably the microperforate variety of a vaginal corona, but it's also probably untypically thick.

 

 

Btw - split topics really suck. The logic of discussion is gone after removal of some posts.

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9 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I didn't even know AFABs had three holes until I was 17 or 18, and I have an A level in biology

Hahaha....neither did I . 😂😂

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Along with the whole AFABs have 3 holes discussion, many people don't know that the clitoris is actually about 4 inches long! This was only discovered this in 2009 :o That little bump that most people assume is the clitoris is actually just the clitoral glans, covered by the clitoral hood. The rest of the clitoris extends under the skin of both labia and surrounds the vaginal opening, extending up into the vagina a short way. This is why many women can orgasm from labial stimulation alone - the clitoris is actually underneath both labia! :)

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Anthracite_Impreza

It really is ridiculous how half the population's nether-regions have been completely ignored until recently (scientifically, just to clarify. Most certainly not ignored from a hetero-male gaze angle...)

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And as usual AVEN has taught me things that I wasn't even aware of.

 

Mine is probably broken as I am a keen cyclists.

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everywhere and nowhere

Am I the only one for whom it hasn't eroded by itself?

Btw, is it true that if a 35+ woman has an intact vaginal corona, it tends to undergo fibrous degeneration and become even thicker?

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I don't understand why this is such a problem for people. For me, virginity just means that you haven't had sex yet. And it's up to each individual to decide what counts as sex and when they feel like they had sex for the first time.  

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Telecaster68
13 minutes ago, Salmiakki said:

I don't understand why this is such a problem for people. For me, virginity just means that you haven't had sex yet. And it's up to each individual to decide what counts as sex and when they feel like they had sex for the first time.  

Do people who force actions on others also get to define what count what sex is too? If not, why not? 

 

All this 'words mean whatever you want them to mean' crap just results in them meaning nothing so no communication can take place. 

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Anthracite_Impreza
2 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Am I the only one for whom it hasn't eroded by itself?

I mean, I couldn't tell you. I have more chance of getting to the top of Everest than exploring down there (by which I mean no touchy!!).

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3 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

All this 'words mean whatever you want them to mean' crap just results in them meaning nothing so no communication can take place

Yep.  Asexuality (at least in certain circles) suffers from the same problem, but I'm sure that was the same sort of point you're getting at.

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everywhere and nowhere
14 hours ago, Salmiakki said:

I don't understand why this is such a problem for people. For me, virginity just means that you haven't had sex yet. And it's up to each individual to decide what counts as sex and when they feel like they had sex for the first time.  

Not necessarily "yet". Some people remain virgins (at least biographically) for life and for aces it's, of course, much more likely than for allosexuals.

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I have never noticed anything resembling a hymen, both as a child or now (I also mistook my vagina for my urethra until I was 11, at which point I got very confused) not even remnants. 

 

So I guess I'm asking how to find it? Or do I even have one?

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5 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

Not necessarily "yet". Some people remain virgins (at least biographically) for life and for aces it's, of course, much more likely than for allosexuals.

Yeah I know that. I might never have sex either. 

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On 8/30/2018 at 1:51 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

Am I the only one for whom it hasn't eroded by itself?

Btw, is it true that if a 35+ woman has an intact vaginal corona, it tends to undergo fibrous degeneration and become even thicker?

If it's disturbing your periods or causing pain in any way, that's very bad!!!! You might wanna get it surgically removed (actually not a very big procedure) as it can become a very serious condition. If you can, it would be a very good idea to try to stretch it out yourself. If it refuses to budge that is ABNORMAL and u should DEFINITELY see a doctor.

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4 hours ago, dragon_nerd said:

I have never noticed anything resembling a hymen, both as a child or now (I also mistook my vagina for my urethra until I was 11, at which point I got very confused) not even remnants. 

 

So I guess I'm asking how to find it? Or do I even have one?

Sorry to double post but this is important.

There are many different types of hymens- google images for "hymen types" helps a lot

 

If your vaginal opening looks like a moderate size hole (at least 3 we'll-lubricated fingers can fit inside comfortable) then that's a "normal", aka Healthy hymen.

 If it looks like a weird, crescent shape that's not big enough for 3 fingers, that's a type 2 hymen, and might cause painful period built up.

If you have two long holes/ slits next to each other, that's a type 3 hymen, and has the same problem.

Type 4 hymens are when you have a Ton of tiny little holes. This can be very painful and unhealthy for periods.

Type 5 are called imperforate hymens, where there is NO hole. This is EXTREMELY bad and MUST be surgically removed as soon a so possible.

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everywhere and nowhere
48 minutes ago, Roidgy said:

If it's disturbing your periods or causing pain in any way, that's very bad!!!! You might wanna get it surgically removed (actually not a very big procedure) as it can become a very serious condition. If you can, it would be a very good idea to try to stretch it out yourself. If it refuses to budge that is ABNORMAL and u should DEFINITELY see a doctor.

No way. I'll rather die than let someone see and touch my private parts. Or rather I would die anyway, because I couldn't survive being subjected to something like that.

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9 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

No way. I'll rather die than let someone see and touch my private parts. Or rather I would die anyway, because I couldn't survive being subjected to something like that.

Understandable, hope you're ok

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everywhere and nowhere
57 minutes ago, Roidgy said:

If your vaginal opening looks like a moderate size hole (at least 3 we'll-lubricated fingers can fit inside comfortable) then that's a "normal", aka Healthy hymen.

WHAAAAT??? ;)

3 fingers?!

In my case only one can go in (a little), but it's painful. Still, why bother? I don't intend to have sex ever and period problems related to the size of my vaginal corona really aren't that serious. Sometimes I can feel the vaginal exit hurt a bit during my period, and relatively often I feel a portion of blood "flush out" on my pad when I change position, for example stand up or sit down, as if some blood had stopped on the vaginal corona and was then "pushed out" by a change in position. But the latter is not even a problem, it's just a slightly strange feeling. No, period leaks aren't caused by that, but usually by laying on the side (and I can only sleep in this position, plus sometimes I read while laying down on a day bed) when the pad is placed too far to the back.

Btw, I like the term "leaks". Of course it can mean a lot of different things, but at least in Polish the equivalent - "przeciek" - is often used in the meaning "confidential political information which was publicised". And I very much care about the Political, with the small reservation that for me almost everything is political*.

 

*Workshop "Language and politics" during my studies. The lector's question: does parquet repair in the facculty building have anything to do with politics?

I explained that of course it does: a university receives public funding and uses it for stuff such as parquet repairs. If people in charge don't like its curriculum, the university could find itself unable to pay for parquet repair. ;)

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everywhere and nowhere

PS. A larger vaginal corona is not "unhealthy". It's just a variant which can be more troublesome. Only the imperforate variant does truly pose any health risk. But all variants are normal.

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4 minutes ago, Nowhere Girl said:

PS. A larger vaginal corona is not "unhealthy". It's just a variant which can be more troublesome. Only the imperforate variant does truly pose any health risk. But all variants are normal.

That's  why I put it in quotes, of course they're all normal it's just that doctors usually call the "healthiest one" the normal one. As long it's not causing you problems, it's normal for you, and that's great!

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3 hours ago, Roidgy said:

 

If your vaginal opening looks like a moderate size hole (at least 3 we'll-lubricated fingers can fit inside comfortable) then that's a "normal", aka Healthy hymen.

 

2 hours ago, Nowhere Girl said:

3 fingers?!

Hah that was my reaction too :P

 

I haven't had sex (physically) in 7 years now, but even back when I was having it regularly I could still only get one finger up (with difficulty, and pain. So one can imagine how actual sex felt *sigh*). I've never been able to use tampons because I just can't get them up there, it hurts and they just won't go in, not even the small ones. I couldn't believe it when I found out that teens who hadn't even had sex could actually use tampons, like whaaaat? How do they even get them inside??

 

I know now I have a pain condition called vestibulodynia, which causes agonising burning pain upon penetration, and I also have a weirdly tight, er, hole, haha. It's not the hymen though, it's the hole and the canal itself that's just very tight, which combined with so much sensitivity means I'll never try putting one finger up again, let alone 3!! :cake:

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  • 1 month later...

I always thought, based on what I have read is that a Tampon didn’t go in far enough to erode the hymen, I knew about things like stretching from dance or riding a bike etc, tbh I think it would be really Interesting to actually see a still intact hymen on a grown woman who is a virgin. Iam sure I never will, if it would be interesting.
@nowhere girl. I think is really awesome you are a virgin, and never gave into peer pressure to have sex when you were younger, and that your hymen is still intact. Sorry if that was tmi

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8 hours ago, pma01 said:

I always thought, based on what I have read is that a Tampon didn’t go in far enough to erode the hymen,

TMI mention of female reproductive system parts:

 

Tampons go all the way up against the cervix so they travel the full length of the vagina...

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I feel kind of stupid.now. I should have checked the facts before I posted

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28 minutes ago, pma01 said:

I feel kind of stupid.now. I should have checked the facts before I posted

Oh no, don’t feel stupid!  Anyone who doesn’t use them, uses them but only the 2-piece applicator type, and/or doesn’t work in healthcare would have no reason to know.  I just wanted to be sure people had the right info.

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everywhere and nowhere
2 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Oh no, don’t feel stupid!  Anyone who doesn’t use them, uses them but only the 2-piece applicator type, and/or doesn’t work in healthcare would have no reason to know.  I just wanted to be sure people had the right info.

I didn't know it either. But my only attempt at using tampons has been unsuccesful anyway.

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Virginity is an archaic concept and hymens are misunderstood.

 

What even is virginity? What counts as sex? What about people who have been sexually assaulted - are they virgins or not? Why do we put so much value on having sex and not having sex and what age you first had sex or how frequently and with who... Why are there double standards for men and women when it comes to shaming them or praising them for being sexually active? How can we “have” our virginity and then suddenly “lose” it if we have sex? How does sex affect our virtue? Why does only the very first time carry so much weight? It’s a bullshit vague concept that has no place in today’s society.

 

Most vaginas have a small bit of thin membrane called a hymen. They come in a very wide variety of shapes, sizes, and thickness. Sometimes there is no hymen. It’s rare that they would even need to tear like in the myth. They usually just stretch with any kind of penetration. They do not usually bleed when stretched or broken. This isn’t the same kind of skin that’s outside your body and the membrane is usually fairly thin. The pain is the stretching as the muscles get used to it or even an unconscious spasm or clenching.

 

I actually am a rare case and had to have a hymenectomy. It was very thick and shaped like a spider web. (It was cribriform is you look at the Wikipedia.) I couldn’t get tampons in and it blocked menstrual blood from exiting properly. It doesn’t remove anything really but just widens the opening.

 

Women who are not virgins may have more visible hymens than expected by this logic and there is absolutely no way of verifying they’ve had sex due to hymen appearance. If the hymen was like a wall to break, that would be a problem. Hymens can also change shape or heal in some amounts. If there’s some trauma at a young age from something like rigorous exercise, it can heal back to what it was. It can also change thickness due to changes in hormones. The significance of the hymen is about as much as your cuticles.

 

/end rant

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