midnightlightlooks

I can't tell if I'm sex-positive, sex-neutral, or sex-repulsed?

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midnightlightlooks

Porn disgusts me, watching/reading about sex scenes makes me highly uncomfortable, I hate smut and feel uneasy when people around me talk about anything sex related. I don't even masturbate. I don't have the desire to "explore my body" nor feel relieved of anything. However, I would have sex if my partner wanted me to depending on the person and situation. I wouldn't mind being a virgin for the rest of my life but would like to lose my virginity for the experience. I'm very confused about my relationship with sex and am afraid that it'll ruin any relationships I may have in the future. Please help me. 

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Scottthespy

That sounds like sex positive is off the list. I've known sexual people who don't like porn either, so it could be sex neutral with an aversion to any thoughts of sex that don't involve you and a partner. Considering your concern, I would go forward with the idea that you're neutral, until proven otherwise. Telling yourself you're repulsed might cement the idea further in your mind and cause it to become true when it didn't have to be. If you go forward thinking you're neutral and then trying to have sex with a partner is fine, then neutral it is. If you go forward thinking you're neutral and trying to have sex with a partner causes negative feelings, then perhaps you are in fact repulsed. 

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Kayze

I relate cum to snot and areas that you relieve yourself from don't really have an appeal to me. Especially doesn't help that the first time someone's dick was in my mouth it was uncircumcised and lacked hygiene. I don't mind receiving but the situation really isn't anything special nor does anything. So, I'm somewhat sexual neutral? I'm sex positive for other's enjoyment (go them!) but kinda repulsed by the idea.

 

Since you do not masturbate and even sex scenes themselves (assuming even ones that don't even show any of their bits), I'd say you're closer to sex-repulsed. Your willingness to engage in it could be slightly neutral but it seems more like a possibility than a guarantee. One that you might need to experience to know if you're okay with that but you might still be willing to go out of a comfort zone for the benefit of the partner (in a similar way as exploring kinks with a partner).

 

There's a lot of sexual people but their levels all vary. There's also a lot of relationship dynamics that could be looked into if needed and if comfortable with. I'm currently sorta dating a guy that is sexual but I've been totally upfront with my asexuality and he's been very careful with it. I know of many others with similar situations. You'll find someone even if sex is something you never want to do. Just be you and be upfront about it.

 

The main trouble in relationships with sexuals is that an asexual doesn't let the other one know about asexuality until further into the relationship or the sexual doesn't understand what asexuality really is. Communication is important and just as you'd like to know if they're hypersexual (rather, sex is very important), they should know if you're asexual. It'll help both people find the right person and prevent painful relationship stress.

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