I hate how people are faking to be asexual...

[Sally]

On 8/27/2018 at 9:24 AM, The Dryad said:

 if your partner isn't showing up, then you can file for divorce and receive some sort of compensation for spousal neglect

Uh...no.  

[The Dryad]

7 hours ago, Sally said:

Uh...no.  

Yes you can, spousal neglect is means for divorce and in divorce the neglected party usually gets some type of monetary distribution, and/or properties, especially if there is proof of emotional and/or physical abuse.

[Telecaster68]

It's not done as retribution or compensation though. It's about fair division of shared property. 

[Guest]

20 hours ago, PittAce92 said:

I am not a Gen Z (a millennial), but I would say this is the case for my age group, so I could see this being the case, in a better sense, for the next age group after mine.

 

Gen Y are millennials, Gen Z is being dubbed iGen; it's the most current batch. While Gen Y/millennials were exposed, for most of us, our exposure came later in life. The current generation is exposed to all this rather early, so it makes more sense that, as a group, they are more likely to explore gender and sexuality because they know they can before they even reach puberty.

 

16 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

It may partially have to do with the whole thing about people dismissing asexuals as people who aren't able to 'get laid' and want to have a specific label (basically thinking asexuals are incels), or how some people describe themselves as 'asexual' just because they aren't in a relationship.  Though, tbh, I think the latter is more likely to have a role in it than the former.

Considering the incel batch are a bunch of women hating monsters, generating mass killers, we should squash any relation with them IMMEDIATELY. The incel "culture" (*shudder*) doesn't really "allow" women in the group, and obviously women can be asexual, so yet another reason to remove any connection, correcting anyone with false info.

[Sally]

8 hours ago, The Dryad said:

Yes you can, spousal neglect is means for divorce and in divorce the neglected party usually gets some type of monetary distribution, and/or properties, especially if there is proof of emotional and/or physical abuse.

Not in the US.  Which country are you talking about?   

[Residentshadow]

People faking being Asexual... Wow, congratulations that's actually a new one on me. I would imagine it's for attention, using sexuality as a way of standing out and getting noticed. 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

49 minutes ago, Sally said:

Not in the US.  Which country are you talking about?   

Err, the UK. Yeah, spousal neglect definitely a thing here, though doesn't it have to be like, 2 years or something?

[ryn2]

20 hours ago, The Dryad said:

Yes you can, spousal neglect is means for divorce and in divorce the neglected party usually gets some type of monetary distribution, and/or properties, especially if there is proof of emotional and/or physical abuse.

This depends heavily on where you live.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

I can't help thinking 'who'd want to fake being asexual given the laughing stock we appear to be in the more ignorant corners of humanity'... even on this site, aces can be ridiculed.

[Telecaster68]

Neglect can be a factor in granting a divorce but I'm pretty sure I'm the UK courts don't allot any part of the financial settlement based on anything like that. 

[123454321]

On 9/2/2018 at 4:06 AM, LKinney said:

Considering the incel batch are a bunch of women hating monsters, generating mass killers, we should squash any relation with them IMMEDIATELY. The incel "culture" (*shudder*) doesn't really "allow" women in the group, and obviously women can be asexual, so yet another reason to remove any connection, correcting anyone with false info.

Yes I agree but, do you know about Beckys? (they are kind of a female version of Incels) 

[123454321]

On 8/27/2018 at 10:04 AM, LKinney said:

Something to keep in mind is Gen Z, because they have been exposed to more ideas, and because it is safer now (not perfect, not even ideal, but safer) to do so, and (somewhat) socially okay to so, they explore more

Actually I am a Gen Z myself 😂 and the people who are doing that on deviantart are Gen Z as well (so my peers you can say) and one of the person who was doing that asexuality trend thing got banned on deviantart (idk for what reason tho)

 

but the others still remain, including that person who hates me a lot (yeah, they also all of a sudden came out as a ace just like I did) probably to mock asexuality? (they even weren't an LGBT+ friendly person) 

[Bronztrooper]

34 minutes ago, I Love to Draw said:

but the others still remain, including that person who hates me a lot (yeah, they also all of a sudden came out as a ace just like I did) probably to mock asexuality? (they even weren't an LGBT+ friendly person) 

Probably more to mock you specifically if they dislike you as much as you say.  Anti-LGBT+ people have enough of a problem with homosexuals, bisexuals, and trans people as it is, so any other kinds of sexualities that they hear about they'll shrug off as being 'fake' and 'attention-seeking'.  In this case, they're likely trying to claim to be asexual to upset you rather than trying to mock asexuality (which isn't to say that the latter isn't something they're also going for, but my assumption is that the former is the main driving force).

[Guest]

9 hours ago, I Love to Draw said:

Yes I agree but, do you know about Beckys? (they are kind of a female version of Incels) 

I do not, and googling does not give me any info. If they are man hating women, then they suck too, but at least they are committing mass murder while the rest of the freaks celebrate the killing, so I won't call them monsters until they do that.

 

9 hours ago, I Love to Draw said:

Actually I am a Gen Z myself 😂 and the people who are doing that on deviantart are Gen Z as well (so my peers you can say) and one of the person who was doing that asexuality trend thing got banned on deviantart (idk for what reason tho)

 

but the others still remain, including that person who hates me a lot (yeah, they also all of a sudden came out as a ace just like I did) probably to mock asexuality? (they even weren't an LGBT+ friendly person) 

So this one person may have been an issue, but could be the others had not heard the term, and upon hearing it adopted it. It might not be faking, just another path to explore. I see it so much as a middle school teacher, that kids explore so much more than they did when I was younger (no one explored - you would be eaten alive; it's still hard to do now, as even adults can be against you - actually, being from prior generations and more set in their ways, adults are sometimes the worst - but there's more allies than bullies).

I think the exploration is good. So much better then being told you are cis/het through your childhood with no choice and being lost and confused most, if not all your life. Better to try things on to find what fits. Sexuality is not always clear for people. It's not a choice, but that doesn't always mean you fully get where you fall. For me, I always knew, with no doubt, I was asexual (I just had my own term for it), but I know that's uncommon.

[eilaz]

My personal view is that i accept anything anyone wants to label themselves as and move on. It doesn't phase me whatever sexual identity others want to adopt. 

 

One reason is that younger people are usually in "search" of themselves. They may find a term that resonates with them for the time being (or even for their whole lives) Some don't even know about most of them and as people mentioned, Asexuality isn't discussed enough.

 

And my final reason is that i don't consider asexuality to be all that rare. I think there are MANY people who truly are asexuals but if you've never found info about it online then it's very easy to "adopt" the social norm and "act" like a sexual person. I may be wrong but in the end of the day i don't know how to "prove" you are a "true asexual". (As if you need to prove anything to anyone)

[123454321]

4 hours ago, LKinney said:

So this one person may have been an issue, but could be the others had not heard the term, and upon hearing it adopted it. It might not be faking, just another path to explore. I see it so much as a middle school teacher, that kids explore so much more than they did when I was younger (no one explored - you would be eaten alive; it's still hard to do now, as even adults can be against you - actually, being from prior generations and more set in their ways, adults are sometimes the worst - but there's more allies than bullies).

The other people were that person's friends and all of them were pretty much using the term as a show off badge instead of a proper identity... I know you don't know the issue but it sure was annoying, they all didn't mean it! It was just a trendy thing for them.. And they were always very happy being straights until I posted that stuff.... Some didn't even know proper definition of asexuality, and overall it looked like a clumsy event... 

 

Also here is it about beckys and Stacys https://www.google.co.in/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/IncelTears/comments/76rr5r/stacy_vs_becky/

[Sally]

1 hour ago, eilaz said:

I think there are MANY people who truly are asexuals but if you've never found info about it online then it's very easy to "adopt" the social norm and "act" like a sexual person. I may be wrong but in the end of the day i don't know how to "prove" you are a "true asexual". (As if you need to prove anything to anyone)

I was one for years, until I read about asexuality.  

[Guest]

6 hours ago, I Love to Draw said:

The other people were that person's friends and all of them were pretty much using the term as a show off badge instead of a proper identity... I know you don't know the issue but it sure was annoying, they all didn't mean it! It was just a trendy thing for them.. And they were always very happy being straights until I posted that stuff.... Some didn't even know proper definition of asexuality, and overall it looked like a clumsy event... 

 

Also here is it about beckys and Stacys https://www.google.co.in/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/IncelTears/comments/76rr5r/stacy_vs_becky/

 

Okay, well, I can't speak to the specific matter you noted, but just saying, I've noticed the younger generation explores more and this could, at times, lead people to think they are faking or whatever.

 

Oh, that idea of Becky - yeah, that's an INCEL thing. It's not a group of women doing what the incels are doing, that is an incel (ridiculous) world view. Yes...every human can be neatly placed in one of two categories - riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. You'll notice both the Stacey and the Becky are thin and attractive. Incels declare women can't even be incels, because you're only ugly if you're fat, and you can fix that problem and then you will have men. You'll note the Becky is not listed as a virgin. So, yes, I have heard of the Beckys in that sense. Every thing the incels say is pure batshit insanity and, again, speak to their overall hatred of women and the monsters that they are.

ContraPoints on youtube actually did a good breakdown of all this recently. She covered some things I hadn't looked into (I did a lot of research after the incel terrorist attack here in Canada - and it made my stomach turn with the pure vile that is the incel "community").

[Mona Lisa]

They might be faking it for attention. They might not be faking it. Who knows, maybe they were faking being happy as "straights."

 

It's even possible that rather than faking it, they just misunderstood what asexuality is. I've heard people describe themselves as "asexual" because they're in a period of low sex drive or they're celibate, which, as we in this community know, is not an accurate definition. (Example: "I haven't had sex in forever. I'm so asexual right now!")

 

The best you can do is try to educate them or direct them to resources where they can learn more about it, and if they continue to be ignorant, ignore them.

[PittAce92]

On 9/3/2018 at 2:07 AM, Bronztrooper said:

Probably more to mock you specifically if they dislike you as much as you say.  Anti-LGBT+ people have enough of a problem with homosexuals, bisexuals, and trans people as it is, so any other kinds of sexualities that they hear about they'll shrug off as being 'fake' and 'attention-seeking'.  In this case, they're likely trying to claim to be asexual to upset you rather than trying to mock asexuality (which isn't to say that the latter isn't something they're also going for, but my assumption is that the former is the main driving force).

Also, sadly, even though I would say the newer generations are more accepting of identity, there are still enough Anti-LGBT+ people out there that cause enough of a raucous.

[PittAce92]

On 9/1/2018 at 6:36 PM, LKinney said:

Gen Y are millennials, Gen Z is being dubbed iGen; it's the most current batch. While Gen Y/millennials were exposed, for most of us, our exposure came later in life. The current generation is exposed to all this rather early, so it makes more sense that, as a group, they are more likely to explore gender and sexuality because they know they can before they even reach puberty.

One thing I would say is a benefit, and wished I had at that time as something more of a familiarity! 

[will123]

On 8/25/2018 at 7:39 PM, I Love to Draw said:

 

The issue here is that, one just doesn't choose to be a random sexuality just for attention!

Yes as if identifying as asexual is an easy or 'popular' decision.

 

As soon as I knew I was asexual I knew I would feel better about myself, but knew it wouldn't be understood. For the most part I've kept it to myself.

 

And if anyone ever says that I decided NOT to have sex, I'll have some strong words for them. As much as I WANTED to be heterosexual, there was 'something' missing inside of me that would allow me to have sex. I knew what it was all about but couldn't do it.

 

Kind of like standing on a diving board and saying nope I'm not diving and climbing back down the ladder.

[To Each Their Own]

On 9/3/2018 at 9:18 PM, Mona Lisa said:

It's even possible that rather than faking it, they just misunderstood what asexuality is. I've heard people describe themselves as "asexual" because they're in a period of low sex drive or they're celibate, which, as we in this community know, is not an accurate definition. (Example: "I haven't had sex in forever. I'm so asexual right now!")

 

The best you can do is try to educate them or direct them to resources where they can learn more about it, and if they continue to be ignorant, ignore them.

This is SO my sister! UGH...talk about aggravating.

[Mr. Quickhands]

I've known a couple people to consciously lie about it as a manipulation tactic. It's pretty slimy but it happens. I think someone tried to pull it on me once, and someone definitely pulled it on my friend. I think they think that they can use it as an excuse to get physically close to an asexual person and then miraculously convert them by getting handsy and then claiming they've suddenly discovered they're not asexual.

 

Not sure that's what OP is talking about; that sounds more like people just misunderstanding the label

[Guest]

On 9/4/2018 at 3:31 PM, PittAce92 said:

One thing I would say is a benefit, and wished I had at that time as something more of a familiarity! 

I completely agree. I think it's it's great! The point being us older folks shouldn't get our knickers in a bunch over it when they don't seem to really be something. I hear SO MANY teachers bitching and moaning about kids exploring, and it's really an age thing. Frankly, who cares? If they aren't doing for the purpose of being offensive (though it sounds like the example of this thread was that, so that obviously is an issue), then leave them be, and respect how they identify themselves.

 

17 hours ago, (1/137)ce said:

I've known a couple people to consciously lie about it as a manipulation tactic. It's pretty slimy but it happens. I think someone tried to pull it on me once, and someone definitely pulled it on my friend. I think they think that they can use it as an excuse to get physically close to an asexual person and then miraculously convert them by getting handsy and then claiming they've suddenly discovered they're not asexual.

 

Not sure that's what OP is talking about; that sounds more like people just misunderstanding the label

Well, that is just straight up evil, and barely a step down from correctional rape.

[Jewelsandcrowns]

On 9/6/2018 at 8:09 AM, (1/137)ce said:

I've known a couple people to consciously lie about it as a manipulation tactic. It's pretty slimy but it happens. I think someone tried to pull it on me once, and someone definitely pulled it on my friend. I think they think that they can use it as an excuse to get physically close to an asexual person and then miraculously convert them by getting handsy and then claiming they've suddenly discovered they're not asexual.

That has happened to me twice. To be honest, if someone tells me they are asexual, I don't 100% believe them.

 

[Kayze]

Unfortunately, it's mostly the misconception of what sexual attraction is. There's people who find it hard to get sex or don't put much importance to it or have some moral, voluntary reason against it; yet think it's then asexuality. I wouldn't count everyone who "changed" their orientation to asexuality as doing it for malicious reasons but because they are misinformed of what it is. Not saying there aren't people that are purely doing it for attention, of course.

 

On 8/25/2018 at 4:54 PM, G0D said:

Unfortunately Asexuality has a bit of a reputation at the moment as a fad, or the latest "cool".... I really like the fact that asexuality has gotten some well needed visibility, the problem is that it can feel like it's got a "Cool" label with those who just have to find reasons to be oppressed, or misunderstood. It's a bit like "Grey asexual". It's odd that someone can be a bit asexual, or that it's a spectrum. It would be a bit like me saying I am Grey Vegan, I only eat meat as a part of my meals. Not all the time, and I only eat it when I really get the urge... <shrugs>.. 

Except, gray-asexuality is a thing and your comparison isn't at all valid. It still isn't celibacy.

[Philip027]

On 9/3/2018 at 2:09 PM, eilaz said:

I think there are MANY people who truly are asexuals but if you've never found info about it online then it's very easy to "adopt" the social norm and "act" like a sexual person.

That sort of thing is so hard for me to comprehend, the adopting, but it is something that people do nevertheless.  Hell, it's how a lot of people started smoking.

 

I still don't think outright asexuality is common at all though, certainly not enough to employ a term like "many".  But if you go ahead with the 1% figure, it can still seem like a lot of people when you consider how many people there are.

[PittAce92]

On September 5, 2018 at 7:43 PM, will123 said:

As much as I WANTED to be heterosexual, there was 'something' missing inside of me that would allow me to have sex. I knew what it was all about but couldn't do it

Right here is why if one is identifying for the sake because it is cool rather than legitimately (i.e., not sure but makes sense, or certain based on discovering it ), that is where the problem lies. This is actually legitimate and how people who are asexual feel and describe oneself.

[tamarow]

this scars me because as someone who is new to the community I'm afraid my asexuality will be seen as a fad or worse. It hurts the community because asexuality can be pretty confusing and emotionally draining when you are discovering it for the first time. I known a person who have been gender neutral for fads and would change there name every couple weeks just to get attention. I hope your friends on DA actually are asexual and just quite about the details.