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For the sexuals and everybody, honest opinion: Is sex really all that great?


Tyger Songbird

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3 minutes ago, CBC said:

I believe I called someone a "fucking delight" because they were calling others hos and sluts and whores.

 

Me and my big verbally-slutty, profane mouth again. :) 

🤦‍♂️

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43 minutes ago, CBC said:

Par for the course with me. I flirt with warnings more than I flirt with people. :D 

 

(Sorry James, nothing has changed since January... still not pining for you. If I was flirting, I promise you'd know it.)

Drat! I crave your approval!

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ElasticPlanet
1 hour ago, James121 said:
4 hours ago, ElasticPlanet said:

As @Anthracite_Impreza and @ryn2 have said, you imply that you know us better than we know ourselves.

Only if you read it and assume that it means I was talking to you.

Er... well. You responded to what I said about myself in my answer to the million dollar question, with abrupt disbelief. Without explanation, or reference to any relevant things I may have already said about myself in this public (if anonymous) place. When the aforementioned @Anthracite_Impreza and @ryn2 pointed out how your response to my post came across, they were talking about what you said to me!

 

When they raised the issue of how your words come across to us who aren't cisgender and straight, you played the skeptic card ("I don’t believe everything I am told" ... "I have my own opinions and skepticisms") in a situation where not accepting the identities and experiences of the disadvantaged group is not skepticism - it is just denial.

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jay williams

Sheesh. This was, and is, a good topic. Please don't spoil the conversation with ad hominem innuendoes and attacks.

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On 4/23/2019 at 5:35 AM, James121 said:

If someone offered me $1,000,000 to go without sex for the rest of my life, the answer would be no. I guess that means the answer for me is a resounding yay, it is that great.

I think its better to scale money with "years income", since for some people a million isn't a lot, for others it would completely change their lives 

 

Personally - I don't think there is any amount of money I would take to give up sex.     Sex makes me happy, lack of sex makes me unhappy.    I'd still be unhappy if I lived on a private island with hundreds of servants.  Possibly more so since vast wealth would provide even more opportunities for sex that I would have to turn down. 

 

The answer might be different for someone facing a life of real economic hardship. 

 

Other things vary.  For example if I could magically be turned female (I have an aversion to surgery), I'd do it for ~20 years pay.    I'm straight but I'd have sex with another man (assuming no disease risk) for a years pay.  I would not however give up sex with women for any money - because sex with a man wouldn't be the same at all.  So while sex matters to me, and I have a clearly identified gender and orientation, my gender and orientation are not all-important to me. 

 

 

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I was "Indecent Proposal"d once....

 

... I gave up being a vegetarian because I was offered my car being paid off for me in exchange...   

 

I felt guilty about compromising my morals.... But 10k is 10k... >___>

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1 hour ago, ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

I was "Indecent Proposal"d once....

 

... I gave up being a vegetarian because I was offered my car being paid off for me in exchange...   

 

I felt guilty about compromising my morals.... But 10k is 10k... >___>

That seems like such an illogical trade for the person requesting it!  Someone wanted to see you eat meat so much they would pay $10k to do so?

 

I’m omnivorous (although I eat a relatively plant-based diet) but can’t think of any food I would pay anyone more than a typical barroom bet to eat.

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17 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

That seems like such an illogical trade for the person requesting it!  Someone wanted to see you eat meat so much they would pay $10k to do so?

 

I’m omnivorous (although I eat a relatively plant-based diet) but can’t think of any food I would pay anyone more than a typical barroom bet to eat.

When I gave up alcohol because I didn't like it, a friend bet me €10 that I couldn't do stay off it for a year.

 

He only paid €5  of the €10 :angry:

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48 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

That seems like such an illogical trade for the person requesting it!  Someone wanted to see you eat meat so much they would pay $10k to do so?

 

I’m omnivorous (although I eat a relatively plant-based diet) but can’t think of any food I would pay anyone more than a typical barroom bet to eat.

It was my ex.  We had just moved in together and he absolutely hated eating anything I cooked because it was meat-free.  So to him, it mattered.

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2 hours ago, CBC said:

I'm still waiting to find out who this person is who's going to offer me a million whatevers to have sex...

Depending on the "whatevers...." 😉

 

I do wonder if anyone has ever tried this. I ran into a reddit discussion where some women were indicating that they would have sex with a random person for far less than a million$.   I wonder how many people would be willing to act as high priced call girls / guys  if they could make ~$2000 for a couple of hours work.   How many people would turn down 10 years pay to have sex?

 

I think what tends to happen though is that wealthy people find more subtle ways to exchange money for sex.  Even in the very explicit arangements: One high tech exec had a reputation for buying women nice gifts (like a $20,000 diamond necklace) after having sex with them.  No "agreement", just a reputation that was somehow spread around

 

I have no moral objections to people selling sex for money as long as its truly consensual and there is no deception involved on either side. 

 

Personally even if I were not married, I wouldn't pay money for sex because I wan't to believe I don't need to. OTOH just as an experiment, in a discussion like this I might see if a random person would really take $10K for sex.   (but I *am* married, and exclusive, so I'm NOT offering).   Same way I sometimes offer to buy people's souls for money after they claim that they don't believe in a soul. 

 

 

 

 

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27 minutes ago, ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

It was my ex.  We had just moved in together and he absolutely hated eating anything I cooked because it was meat-free.  So to him, it mattered.

Ah, okay.  It wasn’t so much that he cared if you ate meat, then; he was paying you to not deprive *him* of it.

 

Like, if you’d been willing to cook two meals all along as if he was a child....

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32 minutes ago, uhtred said:

Personally even if I were not married, I wouldn't pay money for sex because I wan't to believe I don't need to.

Some of the folks who engage in the sugardaddy gifting (or even outright paid sex) you describe get around this by framing it as paying to avoid entanglement, rather than paying to find a sex partner.  That way they can still believe they don’t need to pay to get sex; rather, they are paying to avoid the personal and financial life-complicating issues a non-business-arrangement relationship can entail.

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29 minutes ago, CBC said:

Couldn't buy mine either way, belief or not. I'm a natural redhead and the theory is that we don't have souls. 😈

 

Actually lol, that reminds me... for a little while, I'd say maybe 2014-2015ish, AVEN had a "favourite dessert" field in members' profiles, something to do with it being mandatory to fill out as a way to weed out bots or whatever... and for the longest time, mine read "Your soul". I was proud of that.

So would you sell the rights to your soul, if it exists, for $20?   

 

I don't think they exist either, but I like watching people think about it. 

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9 minutes ago, ryn2 said:

Some of the folks who engage in the sugardaddy gifting (or even outright paid sex) you describe get around this by framing it as paying to avoid entanglement, rather than paying to find a sex partner.  That way they can still believe they don’t need to pay to get sex; rather, they are paying to avoid the personal and financial life-complicating issues a non-business-arrangement relationship can entail.

Ah, but you see I want to believe that I am so devilishly desirable that lots of women would want me even without any sort of commitment.   Fortunately I can happily entertain this fantasy without ever needing to test it....   (

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45 minutes ago, uhtred said:

Ah, but you see I want to believe that I am so devilishly desirable that lots of women would want me even without any sort of commitment.   Fortunately I can happily entertain this fantasy without ever needing to test it....   (

That’s why they frame it as protecting their business interests...  “it’s too risky for me to complicate my life with people who haven’t been appropriately screened and who aren’t under contract.”

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50 minutes ago, uhtred said:

So would you sell the rights to your soul, if it exists, for $20?   

 

I don't think they exist either, but I like watching people think about it. 

That’s why I consider myself agnostic and not atheist; while I don’t personally believe, I am not omniscient and could therefore be wrong.  I consider it wise not to openly and needlessly flaunt beliefs/religious rules that aren’t hurting me and stem from things I may not fully understand.

 

Sort of like... I don’t believe in ghosts but, similarly, I could be wrong.  If I’m visiting a building and people tell me not to sit in the green chair because doing so angers the ghost and can get me killed, I still won’t believe it but I also won’t sit in the chair.  The price of being wrong is too high and my knowledge too incomplete.

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2 hours ago, CBC said:

If it existed, for $20? Nah, I doubt it. I assume that's where a lot of the good shit would be. Plus what would they be doing with it?

 

If I have one, back the fuck away from my soul haha.

I figure having bought and sold people's cells, I'm going to the bad place anyway, so I'm not to worried about it getting worse. 

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Custard Cream
1 hour ago, CBC said:

Ooh, storytime!

 

I don't believe in them at all either, but, get this, I've seen some. I was born in the city that's the location of the national headquarters of General Motors of Canada, and there's a large estate home there that belonged to the founder. Huge ornate place built in 1916, beautiful extensive gardens, designated historical site, etc. Called Parkwood. The place is open for tours, has a tea room, events are held there sometimes, movies have been filmed there, etc. I used to attend the annual Christmas concert of the local philharmonic choir there with my gran when I was a teenager because I was a nerd super cool. Anyway, as a kid I went on the tour once with my mum and dad, and there's a grand winding staircase in the main entranceway. I've always been a very curious and, erm, rule-avoidant person lol, and the stairs were closed off at the bottom with one of those fancy velvet rope barrier things. I poked my mum and whispered "Why are the old man and lady allowed up there?" because there was an elderly couple standing at the top watching our tour group and I was naturally jealous of them since I was the sort of child who followed every path and corridor and set of stairs simply because I wanted to and I could and I didn't take kindly to "no". She had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.

 

Long story short, she asked the tour guide about it after and apparently some people have been known to see the ghosts of Samuel and Adelaide McLaughlin at Parkwood. It wasn't until about 20 years after the incident that I thought to bother googling their photos. That's who it was.

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

I still do not believe, though. Genuinely. So I don't get it.

Wow, that is really cool!

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Custard Cream
3 hours ago, uhtred said:

Depending on the "whatevers...." 😉

 

I do wonder if anyone has ever tried this. I ran into a reddit discussion where some women were indicating that they would have sex with a random person for far less than a million$.   I wonder how many people would be willing to act as high priced call girls / guys  if they could make ~$2000 for a couple of hours work.   How many people would turn down 10 years pay to have sex?

 

I think what tends to happen though is that wealthy people find more subtle ways to exchange money for sex.  Even in the very explicit arangements: One high tech exec had a reputation for buying women nice gifts (like a $20,000 diamond necklace) after having sex with them.  No "agreement", just a reputation that was somehow spread around

 

I have no moral objections to people selling sex for money as long as its truly consensual and there is no deception involved on either side. 

 

Personally even if I were not married, I wouldn't pay money for sex because I wan't to believe I don't need to. OTOH just as an experiment, in a discussion like this I might see if a random person would really take $10K for sex.   (but I *am* married, and exclusive, so I'm NOT offering).   Same way I sometimes offer to buy people's souls for money after they claim that they don't believe in a soul. 

 

 

 

 

If someone offered me $10k for sex, I'll totally accept the offer... being a sex neutral romantic ace has it's advantages - however, being old and ugly makes that scenario hugely unlikely!

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Custard Cream
8 minutes ago, CBC said:

I have absolutely no idea what to make of it. I remember it well, it's a thing that happened, I certainly wasn't making it up (not at all my nature as a kid), and I had never seen these people before. So it sounds like... ghosts. But my brain needs another, more logical explanation for whatever reason. I've given up trying to explain it.

Sounds like a ghost experience to me.

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1 hour ago, CBC said:

You selling black market kidneys for a living, uhtred?

Nah, haven't you seen that the real money is made in virtual markets.  Selling actual physical products is so old fashioned........

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54 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

If someone offered me $10k for sex, I'll totally accept the offer... being a sex neutral romantic ace has it's advantages - however, being old and ugly makes that scenario hugely unlikely!

Would you have accepted were young and beautiful?   (not that I'm agreeing you are old and ugly now -  since you may be far more attractive than you think)

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Custard Cream
6 minutes ago, uhtred said:

Would you have accepted were young and beautiful?   (not that I'm agreeing you are old and ugly now -  since you may be far more attractive than you think)

Yep... I'd have taken it. I was sex positive when young, it's faded to neutral now, but I'd still take the cash assuming sensible precautions were part of the deal - it's not likely though!😂

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23 minutes ago, CustardCream said:

Yep... I'd have taken it. I was sex positive when young, it's faded to neutral now, but I'd still take the cash assuming sensible precautions were part of the deal - it's not likely though!😂

That matches what I've heard from other people and matches how I feel. 

 

So... I wonder why so many people have such an extremely negative view of prostitution? (if this is getting to off-topic, I"m happy to take it somewhere else).  There seems to still be a large stigma against sex work - but there also seem to be a lot of people who would do it.

 

I'm a romantic sexual but assuming it was OK in my relationship, I would be willing to have sex with someone else at some price. 

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Custard Cream
8 minutes ago, uhtred said:

That matches what I've heard from other people and matches how I feel. 

 

So... I wonder why so many people have such an extremely negative view of prostitution? (if this is getting to off-topic, I"m happy to take it somewhere else).  There seems to still be a large stigma against sex work - but there also seem to be a lot of people who would do it.

 

I'm a romantic sexual but assuming it was OK in my relationship, I would be willing to have sex with someone else at some price. 

I don't know why it's so off limits - I can understand fellow asexuals saying no (if I was sex repulsed or aromantic I'd feel the same) but I can't understand single sexuals or sex neutral/positive aces refusing a really great offer...

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8 hours ago, uhtred said:

I think its better to scale money with "years income", since for some people a million isn't a lot, for others it would completely change their lives 

I’m definitely missing something here. You are the second person to claim that $1,000,000 may not be a lot. Assuming the average wage in the USA is say $50,000 per year, and assuming you pay some tax and end up with $35,000 in your pocket, it would take 29 years to save $1,000,000 and that assumes that you bought absolutely nothing along the way. On what planet is $1,000,000 not a load of money?

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9 hours ago, ElasticPlanet said:

in a situation where not accepting the identities and experiences of the disadvantaged group is not skepticism - it is just denial.

You need to add 3 words to complete the sentence....

 

”in my opinion”

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10 hours ago, CBC said:

On some level, I really really don't doubt that's true. Unfortunately for you I'm about 97% gay and that other 3% prefers men who aren't, you know, obnoxious.

Harsh..

 

 

fair, but harsh.

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Custard Cream
6 minutes ago, James121 said:

I’m definitely missing something here. You are the second person to claim that $1,000,000 may not be a lot. Assuming the average wage in the USA is say $50,000 per year, and assuming you pay some tax and end up with $35,000 in your pocket, it would take 29 years to save $1,000,000 and that assumes that you bought absolutely nothing along the way. On what planet is $1,000,000 not a load of money?

I would do a lot of 'immoral' things for $1m, despite being asexual. Apologies, I'm switched to maximum female at the moment and it's playing havoc with my libido.

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