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Do you identify with the Rainbow sex/gender spectrum

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Philguin Baggins
3 hours ago, will123 said:

The Pride parade in Toronto, Ontario is very polarizing.

 

Some of the behaviour is questionable for a public venue.

In what ways? I’m curious 

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will123
18 hours ago, Philguin Baggins said:

In what ways? I’m curious 

I'll just say that the channel that broadcasts the parade on TV each year has a content warning at the start and when returning from commercials during the broadcast. 'Nudity and mature content may be shown'.

 

Definitely not Toronto's Santa Claus or NYC's Macy's Thanksgiving parades...

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will123
On 8/16/2018 at 4:23 PM, Little Bear said:

I'm in my 30s if that counts as mature. Anyway, I don't really relate to the whole pride thing. I hate crowds but I also don't feel pride for being me or feel a need to wave around flags celebrating being different. Do heterosexuals wave around flags and parade down the street for being straight?! I don't count myself as being part of the LGBT+ community either.

That's pretty much what I told my friend and his wife when I came out to her and answered his question whether or I felt part of the LGBT community.

 

Also, a few posts in Teen Corner today discussed the meaning of the 'A' in LGBT+. It isn't always Asexual (sometimes Ally, ignoring 'our' identity). I don't think there is any ambiguity about the rest of the acronym.

 

When my friend (who is quite accepting of my asexuality) and I were discussing my identity in August, he asked, "Is there an A in the LGBT alphabet soup?" "Yes but it can be interchanged with Ally..."

 

Why should we think we should be part of a community which doesn't have a 'solid' place for us?

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cavalier080854

I have never felt part of the Pride thing. From being asked to leave in 1982 (too normal)(BTW they weren't called Pride events in 1982) to the political emphasis today. Where did the celebration go for orientation. Keep politics out of the bedroom.

Nope, I prefer to engage on a personal level than group level.

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will123

Thinking to myself I was wondering if other asexuals feel that the LGBT+ movement 'takes the oxygen out of the room'? Everyone knows about those letters, but asexuals are never mentioned.

 

The last couple of years there has been a lot of controversy about the sex ed curriculum in Ontario. A lot has been made about the LGBT content that is causing the uproar and how it affects children that identify as such.

 

I don't know if there is any mention of asexuality in the curriculum.

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Tarvaa

I won't deny the social struggles faced by the LGBTQIA+ community, the inequality fought against by feminism and ablism, or the reality of racism and other forms of discrimination. In other words, I support equality across humanity in all its variety and that's that. I won't pick one over the other by actively involving myself in the fight, thereby prioritising a given group, just because I happen to belong to that one.

 

Labels cut both ways. For me finding asexuality has been great on the personal understanding front, but it would be so easy to begin segregating myself from the sexual demographic of society and stating that me being asexual is in some way better than heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, or pansexuality, because my mind is not constantly distracted by thoughts on sex. That would be wrong and would violate my personal morals. Terminology is useful when learning about something, but can also be used to define differences and eventually divide humanity into "us and them", and another crack forms across society.

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will123
4 hours ago, Tarvaa said:

 

Labels cut both ways. For me finding asexuality has been great on the personal understanding front, but it would be so easy to begin segregating myself from the sexual demographic of society and stating that me being asexual is in some way better than heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, or pansexuality, because my mind is not constantly distracted by thoughts on sex. That would be wrong and would violate my personal morals. Terminology is useful when learning about something, but can also be used to define differences and eventually divide humanity into "us and them", and another crack forms across society.

@Tarvaa I hope you aren't touch adverse because I could just hug you for saying that!

 

After coming out to my friend's wife and answering his question about if I felt part of the LGBT+ community, I told them that I didn't feel 'better' than them because I was asexual nor 'less' than them because they were sexual.

 

I could add my thoughts about a politician here who in my opinion felt the complete opposite... But then again her ''attitude' may have just been her personality.

 

Anyways thank you for the great comment.

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Tarvaa
28 minutes ago, will123 said:

@Tarvaa I hope you aren't touch adverse because I could just hug you for saying that!

 

Anyways thank you for the great comment.

You're welcome. I'm a bit iffy on the touch-front, however the meaning of your virtual gesture is understood and appreciated nonetheless.

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Guest

I don't actually support the entire + idea as a whole, and here's why:

 

It basically groups EVERYTHING that is not het/cis into an "other" category. This sets up het/cis as being normal and then there's "everything else." This feeds into the marginalization of everything that is not cis/het, and the problem there should be self evident.

 

I understand the IDEA behind putting asexual with the LGBT movement as a concept, but I think, in the long run it's actually harmful. I equally think grouping transgender into sexuality reinforces the cis/het narrative as "normal".

 

I would also argue het and gay/bi have more in common than asexual and gay/bi, so that's another reason I find it strange. Asexual and gay/bi have some things in common in terms of being seen as abnormal and having forms of discrimination, but so do LOTS of groups. By that logic, you should partner anything that isn't male/white/het/cis/Christian into one massive "other" group.

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dancingeologist

I identify as part of the LGBT+ community and as asexual. I enjoy going to pride parades and am a member of the board of PFLAG in my town. I think it is strange to apply the word pride to things you have no control over (ie race, sexual orientation, the place you were born...). I feel like pride is for things you made a decision to do and achieved (ie I'm proud of my university degree, my career...). I do not understand the difference between close friendships and romantic relationships but I tend to develop close emotional connections with people of the same gender and am frequently perceived as gay. I find the asexual label useful in explaining to people that I am not straight or gay. I think visibility and awareness are important to acceptance of any minority group, and aces are a minority group.  I can understand the desire to stay in the closet and/or not use labels if you are generally perceived as straight, since a lot of people tend to dislike anyone who deviates from the majority group, weather it is because of race, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, political or religious beliefs, etc. I have even seen people ostracize others for things as innocuous as being a vegan. I think this is more about them having an issue with someone deviating from the majority group, than it is about them actually having an issue with someone else not eating animal products.

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Fluffy Femme Guy
4 minutes ago, dancingeologist said:

I think it is strange to apply the word pride to things you have no control over (ie race, sexual orientation, the place you were born...). I feel like pride is for things you made a decision to do and achieved

I think the intended meaning of 'pride'  was about being open and positive about your orientation, instead of being afraid or ashamed and deciding to hide it.

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Gone Boy

If people want to label themselves its fine by me. I think it has to do with forming an identity and fitting into a groups dynamics. I label myself by quite a few labels it helps me with my identity and understanding how I move through the world as for going to pride being an ambivert it would be just a bit too much for me.

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Cazz333
On 11/11/2018 at 8:30 PM, Guest said:

I don't actually support the entire + idea as a whole, and here's why:

 

It basically groups EVERYTHING that is not het/cis into an "other" category. This sets up het/cis as being normal and then there's "everything else." This feeds into the marginalization of everything that is not cis/het, and the problem there should be self evident.

 

I understand the IDEA behind putting asexual with the LGBT movement as a concept, but I think, in the long run it's actually harmful. I equally think grouping transgender into sexuality reinforces the cis/het narrative as "normal".

 

I would also argue het and gay/bi have more in common than asexual and gay/bi, so that's another reason I find it strange. Asexual and gay/bi have some things in common in terms of being seen as abnormal and having forms of discrimination, but so do LOTS of groups. By that logic, you should partner anything that isn't male/white/het/cis/Christian into one massive "other" group.

This. 

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Cazz333
On 11/13/2018 at 7:14 AM, dancingeologist said:

I identify as part of the LGBT+ community and as asexual. I enjoy going to pride parades and am a member of the board of PFLAG in my town. I think it is strange to apply the word pride to things you have no control over (ie race, sexual orientation, the place you were born...). I feel like pride is for things you made a decision to do and achieved (ie I'm proud of my university degree, my career...). I do not understand the difference between close friendships and romantic relationships but I tend to develop close emotional connections with people of the same gender and am frequently perceived as gay. I find the asexual label useful in explaining to people that I am not straight or gay. I think visibility and awareness are important to acceptance of any minority group, and aces are a minority group.  I can understand the desire to stay in the closet and/or not use labels if you are generally perceived as straight, since a lot of people tend to dislike anyone who deviates from the majority group, weather it is because of race, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, political or religious beliefs, etc. I have even seen people ostracize others for things as innocuous as being a vegan. I think this is more about them having an issue with someone deviating from the majority group, than it is about them actually having an issue with someone else not eating animal products.

I think LGBTQ+ people use Pride as an antidote to humiliation. I personally think that pride about my identity makes brittle, and I prefer to use humility as an antidote to humiliation.

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appleseedy

I went too an LGBT event where i discovered asexuality. So on the one hand glad it happened and i found out about my Aceness. On the other hand i didn't feel like i fitted in at all. I'm essentially heteroromantic and fit in better away from the lgbt community

 

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